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Sunday, May 6, 2018

Stupid Headlines 050618


Stupid Headlines 050618

It is time again for


STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.

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Fiery dish sets off restaurant's sprinklers, almost blasts waiters off their feet – I would definitely order this for desert.

Man bitten by shark, bear, snake in less than 4 years – He completed the rare “Stupid Outdoorsman” trifecta!

Scientists say Uranus smells like rotten eggs - Well…no, I just can’t, this one is way too easy.

GE pressured to fire auditor after 109 years – Doesn’t this guy know SS payments max out at 70?

Playing Tiger Woods is actress Paula Patton's 'dream role' – If I was the director, I think my first choice of someone to play an Asian-African-American male athlete would be a Caucasian blond woman, clearly anything else would be discrimination!

North Carolina transgender inmate suing prison over right to practice witchcraft – I think this is a misprint, the transgender was suing to practice which-craft.

New Jersey superintendent defecated on high school football field 'on a daily basis – The article refers to the superintendent as the "pooper-intendent"

North Carolina teenager accepted into 113 colleges – Very impressive, but why would someone so obviously qualified apply to more than two or three favorites and perhaps one “Sure Thing” just in case.

Man tells police there's a 'guy dead' in his bathtub ... and it 'stinks' – How did the man die? Why this brain surgeon who called 911 shot him.

Budweiser releases new beer based on George Washington's handwritten recipe – Step one: Chop down a cherry tree.

National Bike Month: How to celebrate this May – Wear a jock strap?

FEEL GOOD STORY IF THE WEEK:

New York firefighter vacationing in North Carolina rescues 3 girls from rip current – Firefighters are the best!


Story does have a sad ending.

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Come back next week for more (maybe)

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!


15 comments:

  1. There is no end to the ridiculous news stories headlines out there.

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  2. It's true that rip tides are extremely dangerous ~ Kudos to the brave fireman who went out after those girls!
    Transgendered witches in prison? Why doesn't that surprise me?
    Pooper-intendent, that one tickles the funny bone. :-)

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  3. Someone i know who was a police officer for several years says now that if he’d known better, he’d have become a fire fighter instead.

    Fun headlines as always, it’s amazing the crazy stuff that people come up with to actually do in this world.

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  4. The editor who came up with that "one-armed man/applause" thing was really proud of himself, I'll bet.

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  5. This is a nice collection for my 13-year-old self. I wonder if the Pooperintendent smells like Uranus.

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  6. Man bitten by shark, bear, & snake must have a hard time finding friends brave enough to accompany him ANYWHERE.

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  7. The sound of one hand clapping. . . very Zen. . .

    And you wonder how much the 113-college kid spent on application fees, dontcha?

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  8. Loved these, as always!!

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  9. You can't make this stuff up. You just can't.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  10. right to practice witchcraft?...... The day is not far off when such demands will be made.

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  11. So many comments running through my cranium but I'll just go with this one. We have a lovely lady general surgeon. She has this first grade mentality however when it comes to the word: Uranus..she loves using it in a sentence...every chance she gets. I'm in her operating room on Thursday and one of our cases is a colonoscopy and yes I'm telling her about this headline...I'm not making this up..I'm so excited for Thursday when usually I'm really not that thrilled about colonoscopies...other peoples or my own.

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  12. It is difficult to get a great sound from one man applause...

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  13. Cheap Jerseys free shipping cheap nfl jerseys rxaplc54375

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  14. Yes! Finally something about cinta de raso.

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  15. I wonder what the insurance premiums are for that guy who got bitten by a shark, bear, and snake...

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