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Sunday, April 8, 2018

Stupid Headlines 040818

Stupid Headlines 040818
It Is Time Again For
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Mom deployed Taser on son to wake him up for church –  Why is mom or anyone not part of law enforcement even allowed to have a Taser?
Credit card companies eliminating signature requirements – Finally I won’t need to sign “Donald Duck” on all my purchases.
Virginia woman arrested for allegedly threatening to blow up a 7-Eleven – My first law supporting sensible gun legislation would be
DO NOT SELL A GUN TO THIS WOMAN!!

Woman finds spider in McDonald's chicken sandwich – Now selling as a “Chicken McArachnid Sandwich.”  
A systematic approach to implementing cognitive technologies – Zzzzzz.
Woman fights off tiger with a stick after it attacks her goat – I’ll bet she speaks softly.
Couple busted for allegedly running brothel out of home, with kids inside, to fund heroin addiction – These two will be on Dr. Phil real soon…he’ll fix them in about 45 minutes.
Elderly adults grow as many new brain cells as teenagers do, study finds – Well, like, you know, that, like explains, like a lot, you know.
Bald eagle takes off during pregame ceremony, lands on Mariners pitcher James Paxton – Talk about getting an early hook!
Hillary Clinton's $25G for Rutgers speech was less than school paid 'Snooki' – Snooki told students “study hard, but party harder!” Hillary told them, “Waaaaa!”
Ohio man arrested after attacking girlfriend, hitting her in the face with pizza – “At’s Amore”
FEEL GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK
Police Officers Stand in for Children’s Parents who Could Not Make it to School Dance – A Cop Hop!
Come Back Next Week For More
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!

14 comments:

  1. Sunday again already? Where did the week go?

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  2. Assaulting people is bad, but I might forgive someone who hit me in the face with a pizza. So long as I got the pizza afterwards, anyway.

    On the spectrum of my assault condemnaiton, assault with a pizza ranks on the low side.

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  3. You can't make this stuff up. The world just gets crazier and crazier.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  4. Yikes Amazon sells tasers. Guess we had better be careful who we irritate.

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  5. Whew, I'm going to need those brain cells to get me through the semester...haha

    Wow, that is one ugly woman ~ I wouldn't sell her a pizza either....

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  6. I'm back & as always, I enjoyed this post!!

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  7. The video of that eagle landing on the pitcher was freaking amazing!

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  8. Of course my 13-year-old self chortles at the porn actress getting it in the end. And thinks that Ohio man wasted good pizza.

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  9. You will never convince me that the crazed "woman" with the gun is actually female..seriously, that's a man. That's the face that needs the pizza on it. It certainly would be an improvement.

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  10. So as far as brains go, i still might grow some!

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  11. i must say pizza is more dangerous than gun (sometimes)

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  12. I was on the jury for a federal drug trial. It lasted 3 months. I learned a great deal about what people will do for drugs.

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  13. A systematic approach to implementing cognitive technologies... no flipping way!

    ;-)

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