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Sunday, March 18, 2018

STUPID HEADLINES 031818

STUPID HEADLINES 031818
it is time again for
I hope he chose the one time payout and not a 20 year distribution
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
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Woman sues restaurant alleging she was hurt by drag queen's breast – Beaten by boobs, rocked by rack, tagged by ta ta’s, mashed by melons, bashed by bags, harmed by hooters…that’s all my thirteen-year-old-self has got.
GAY CONVERSION THERAPIST FOUND GUILTY OF HAVING SEX WITH HIS MALE PATIENTS TO 'CURE' THEM – It could work, I think I may have made several women change teams in my day.
Skunks invade small New Mexico town – Must be an election coming soon.
MLB Prospect Cut By Team After Video Of Him Beating Girlfriend Surfaces – He couldn’t hit her curves.
Russian plane loses load of gold, platinum and diamonds – Accidentally dropped its cargo over Mar Largo, Florida.
Arm homeless with shotguns to reduce crime, US Senate hopeful says – What could possibly go wrong?
New Jersey church shocked after Jesus statue stolen 90 years ago is returned – Actually it was just borrowed.
Chicago students allegedly trash Walmart during National School Walkout protest - “They pounced on cars in the lot, vandalized two of the school buses parked there, threw Gatorade bottles at shoppers, smoke bombs, and we heard gun shots in the parking lot.”
Problem solved!
Second Top Nike Executive Departs Amid Complaints of Workplace Behavior – Apparently, they can not “Just do it” whenever they like.
O.J. Simpson has a lot to say about Donald Trump and Colin Kaepernick – Maybe it is me, but I’ve never been too interested in a murderer’s opinion of anyone.
Tinder sues dating app BumbleNot a stupid headline, I just want to hear the bailiff announce, “Next on the docket is the case Tinder vs. Bumble.”
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:
Random company pays drunk’s $1500 Uber bill as a thank you for not drinking and driving – A slow week for good news, but I do have a soft spot in my heart for drunks.

12 comments:

  1. Your opening salvo caught my attention....must have the luck of the Irish, lol.

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  2. Got a giggle about the Mar Largo bombing.

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  3. I love the feel good story. What a nice thing to do for a drunk.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  4. Not only am i not interested in what Mr. Simpson has to say about this or any other topic, i am not interested in what “famous” or “infamous” people have to say about most topics. Just because they have the limelight does not mean their opinions are more valid or important than anyone else’s.

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  5. Wait. . . Drag queens got breasts?

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  6. "Russian plane loses load of gold, platinum and diamonds – Accidentally dropped its cargo over Mar Largo, Florida." Man, that guy has all the luck! ;)

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  7. Maybe that old lottery winner threw himself a grand party that night, and overdid it with the hookers. My thirteen-year-old self appreciates your effort on the boob-beaten woman.

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  8. $1500 for a ride? Wait, was he returning that statue of Jesus to New Jersey? BTW, It only took the real Jesus 3 days to return...no Uber driver was involved.

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  9. What, no drunk horses from Florida?

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