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Monday, October 23, 2017

MAN FLU or MARTYR WIFE

MAN FLU or MARTYR WIFE
 This re-run is from October 2013
I didn't get beat up too bad the first time, so I'm giving you ladies one more  chance...have at it.

Things are going pretty good lately for this cranky old man so I feel the need to submit a post which will cause many of my readers of the female persuasion to rip me a new backside exit.  Yes I am a masochistic misogynistic cranky old man, so have at it all you misanthropists’ ladies. 

The following is based on my experience with a “Martyr ex-wife.”

I often read in some of the many blogs I follow, caustic, eye rolling sarcastic, comments oozing with hatred for their significant other about a recent bout of “Man Flu.”

Sorry ladies and I know you will hit me with examples, but “Man Flu” is a crock of crap invented by women.  Women who are as tough as nails when it comes to all things children are the worst when it comes to colds. 

I get that it is hard to perform your usual daily routine when you are a little under the weather, but you complain as much or more than any man when you are ill.  Most men do try and offer sympathy, but women do not accept sympathy or help when they are ill.  No, they prefer to wallow in martyrdom.  Try and help a woman when she is sick and she will get pissed off.  Everything you do to help will be wrong because women are deathly afraid to find out their family can exist without them…they can’t, but it is what women fear.

Now, I admit when I was working and was sick I would take an occasional day off from work, something that a woman can never do, but I took those days off at my wife’s insistence.  I was then allowed to stay in bed all day as she brought me medication and sustenance.  By the end of the day I would be beaten up for accepting the attention.  I never took more than one day off from work, because that one day had me so beholding to my wife I would hear about it for years to come.

Man flu hell! 

I soon learned to drag my ass to work no matter how sick I felt and no matter who I might infect, because rest and recovery was never worth the crap I would endure for months about how helpless I am when sick and how she could never take a day off.

Friggin bull crap martyr!

I waited hand and foot on her many times and the result would always end up the same. She would wake up from a nap and want something while I was finally catching a quick snooze myself.  Man, the bowels of HELL were unleashed upon me.

I had whooping cough one year.  This is a disease that last for ninety days.  Ninety days of not breathing without dry coughing.  Ninety days of pure misery.  I went to work every day, and every day I was lambasted for doing so.  Apparently I was being selfish for not taking better care of myself.  I was even told at one point that, “If you die, I’m going to spit on your grave!” It was not meant to be funny.

I refused to give her the satisfaction…I lived!

There is NO MAN FLU.  There are women who insist on waiting on their man when he is sick and then complaining about it later.

There are women who insist on no special treatment when they are sick who then complain about it later.

Man Flu is the result of women resorting to their nurturing instinct followed by their complaining instinct along with their martyr instinct.

Man Flu is a figment of femagination.  Still ladies…I love ya!      

26 comments:

  1. Had to smile whilst reading this. However, it confirmed how lucky I was to have a non-demanding husband, one who made an excellent male nurse.

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  2. Um, whooping cough and you went to work and infected an office staff? That's a bit insane in my mind. Plus, why weren't you immunized???

    I haven't even had so much as a cold since 2011. I attribute it to an annual flu vaccine and knowing how to wash my hands. I'll leave the lashing to your fellow sick Blogger's!

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    1. It is most infectious in the beginning stages, I was not diagnosed until well after about 40 days and that was mostly self diagnosed after doctors could not figure it out..."Hmmm, you are probably right." The vaccine we all get as children does not protect forever and that is why people are now encouraged to get a new booster...get one!

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    2. Yes, we all did. Otherwise, my daughter wouldn't let us see her child...lol.

      Seriously though, my dad almost died from pertussis in 1940. Nasty, nasty disease. I'm glad you survived!

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  3. Both are real. Some men act as if they are dying if they have so much as a sneezing fit. Some women martyr, both when their husbands are ill and they have to care for them, or when they themselves are ill and cannot have time off. Both sides need to cut it out.

    When my Sweetie is ill and really does need attention, he asks for it and i give it to him, no complaints. When i am ill, i want to be left alone to get done what i have to do and then allowed to nap in peace, and he gives that to me, no complaints. It works much better that way.

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  4. Gosh, will I write this or not? Okay here goes, I had a husband who was never sick, children who only ever had what they brought home from school, mumps and chicken pox, and one daughter who had tonsillitis every year. That was it. I myself never got sick either, until I caught mumps from the kids. There was no flu of any kind for years and years, so no caring for, or being a martyr either. Then we came back to Adelaide, where my hayfever became much worse and I would spend time sleeping off migraines while hubby and the kids managed without me. No one ever complained. Does this make us abnormal?

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  5. I`m a total wuss when I`m sick...I moan and groan and lay around the house and if ANYONE I mean ANYONE would look after me I would accept it with gratitude believe me. The hubs is not sick often but when he is I give him the exact same attention I get when I`m sick.

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  6. I will restrain from calling you a jerk because I think of that as completely a privilege and a right that belongs to your no doubt long-suffering wife -- who is BTW surely a saint and a goddess.

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  7. You are wrong. Women might do a little bitching and moaning while sick, but they still attend to almost all duties (because they must)...or at least far more than men do. Men fall into one of two categories; either they all but collapse and can't life a friggin finger, or they soldier on and infect everyone. NEITHER is admirable. Man Flu wouldn't exist if it didn't exist. Dur.

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  8. Man flu? I have never heard of such a thing. I have to agree with you though, my wife is a terrific caregiver, she loves helping people heal, she loves comforting the ones who are down, she is good at her job. But when her patient is me she is still good at her job so to say but she is not very patient, and I do hear about it for a while, when she is sick, lord help us I can't do anything right...

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  9. Lol......Oh, and we love you too! Maybe too much ~ look at all we have to put up with..........

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  10. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLj7fj-3L78 is what you need to see. I've seen this many times.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  11. Well I think it depends on the person. I've witnessed guys at both ends of the spectrum. Some were dying with the sniffles, others were solders that you would have to shoot to make lie down. Personally, I am a great, pampering nurse but lousy patient.

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  12. Not with a ten foot pole would I consider touching this one. I can only hope that you feel better. I know I would if I could ever just say what was on my mind. But I am not divorced so I am very afraid of what would happen. :)

    b+

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  13. "I was then allowed to stay in bed all day as she brought me medication and sustenance. " - I have no idea what this means nor have I ever heard of such a thing??? Does this really happen?

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  14. I remember laying in bed sicker than a dog crying. Finally my husband comes in and asked what's wrong. I hadn't, had anything to eat in two days. He said ok. Then finally fixed me something to eat.

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    Replies
    1. I think most men are glad to do help in most situations, you just have to ask, do not expect a man to know what you need or want, we need direction, even when it seems like it should be obvious. Women sometimes get angry because as they will say, "You should know!!" We should , but we often don't.

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  15. I'm a person who does not like having people all over the place when I'm not feeling good. Just leave me alone to die in peace. Jack is fabulous at taking care of me and I hope he feels the same about me but truthfully, he's much better at it than me. When I had my bilateral total knees done 2 years ago my son came in the house to see me walking with my walker and vacuuming the floors. (This was the day after coming home from the hospital..I made Jack go to work). He yelled at me to stop and he would vacuum...no way, I wanted to see if I could use a walker and push a vacuum at the same time...yes, I'm nuts but I have very clean floors.

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  16. You know what, Joe, no matter WHAT - sickness, health, man flu, no flu - NOTHING's right when you're married to the wrong person. When my ex was sick, I wanted to bash him - not because he was sick. Because he's my ex. He wanted to bash me too, same reason.

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  17. All I can add is that when my wife is sick she loves attention. When I'm sicvk I just want to die in peace and privacy.

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  18. I can't even...

    You can probably imagine how the sickness/nurturer routine goes around my house.

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  19. Inevitably i loved this post too Joe!

    When one of us get sick other take over the charge of house ,the sick one is not allowed to leave the bed except for bathroom

    My husband (by the grace of God) get less ill but he is more hard to deal as he don't take day off as i can't remember any day off of his.

    He want to be left alone which is not possible ( i am horrible care taker) even in my teens when my sister and friends did not take even notice of the sickness of their moms i looked after my mother as she is child and i am mom until she asked me to leave her alone.

    my husband is also great care take when i am sick (only time of my life when i find time for t.v)
    May you be blessed with health and peace Joe!

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