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Monday, October 30, 2017

I Am So Ashamed

I Am So Ashamed

I cheated this weekend and I am so ashamed.  I did not want to cheat, I did not seek it out, I was stalked, I was lured.  I could have walked away, I should have walked away, but I am weak and I folded, I succumbed to temptation, and I am so ashamed.

Mrs. C was away for four days this weekend working for a ballroom dance competition that her boss runs every fall.  I was left alone, alone with nothing to stop me from giving in to temptation.
It was innocent enough.  It started at the local Shop-Rite.  I did not mean for it to happen, but I did need supplies.  Maybe I can blame Mrs. C for leaving when all my meals were not provided…no, I won’t stoop that low.
I was wandering the aisles on the hunt when I was overcome by an aroma so intoxicating that it stopped me in my tracks.  I did not know such pick-ups existed much less were common in a supermarket, but there it was, temptation calling to me.  It was an aroma that whisked past that part of the brain that says, “Don’t do it” and settles in that brain lobe that says, “Yes, damn the consequences, do it…D O  I T!!!”
And I did.  I made the first move.  I strolled around looking innocent while I sized up the provocative temptation that was before my eyes. 
FRIED CHICKEN!!
Not that rotisserie stuff they sell, but genuine fried in grease chicken.  Crispy skin, grease visibly oozing through the crispiness, fried chicken.  The aroma, oh my God the aroma!  And there I was, without a tug on my shirt and a firm wifely rebuke, “Move along old man, you can’t handle that!”
I looked around several times and no one seemed to care, so I grabbed that plastic container of brown gold and ran to the check-out register.  
There were six pieces in that container and when home I planned to eat one piece for dinner, maybe two, and save the rest for dinner the next night and even as a snack the day after that.
I am a weak man.  I tried to resist, but I had two pieces for lunch, and about two hours later I had three pieces for dinner.  I did save a scraggly wing for later.  I had not had proper greasy crispy fried chicken since they put the Colonel underground and I could not restrain myself. 
It was good.  It was unbelievably good, but then I went into a fried chicken coma.  It happened while sitting in front of the TV and it did not let up until around midnight.  I was released from the coma to tend to the thunderstorm that was developing in my distended stomach.
It is only now, a full day later that I am recovering.  I cheated, and I am so ashamed.  I think I have learned my lesson though.  Yes, the chicken was fantastic, but the consequences of that momentary pleasure is just not worth it.
I will never cheat again.
However, Mrs.  C is not due home for a few hours, and there is that last piece of a scraggly wing…

25 comments:

  1. I love fried chicken so much that I even learned how to make It myself

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  2. Go for it...you'll be back on the straight and narrow once she comes home.. go get a pizza too and maybe some butter tarts. Is there any beer in the house?

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  3. Eat that last piece if you must, but don't blame me! It's your stomach.

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  4. I am a frequent patron of the gas station chicken store, but even I limit myself to two pieces a day, with those days coming about once every month or two. Yes, the aroma is tantalizing. I even pick up on it like a bloodhound when I drive onto the parking lot every day for my 44 oz Diet Coke. But I believe in moderation. That's what happens when you deny yourself. Or Mrs. C denies you!

    Maybe you should just go get her a little puppy that looks like that one, and she won't even think about the chicken.

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  5. LOL, when hubby is out of town (and he will be next week) I get fried chicken for dinner. Its a rare treat and thankfully still my tummy can handle it.

    betty

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  6. Well, you cheated, you had the fun and you've already been punished via the thunderstorm in your belly, so I'd say everything's even. Just don't tell Mrs C and make sure the evidence (empty container) is disposed of far away from home.

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  7. Fried chicken, I am drooling at the thought and I don't blame you for indulging. While the cats away, as they say.....

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  8. There's nothing like letting your inner child take charge of a meal once in a while. The consequences are not worth it, but that doesn't stop anyone.

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  9. My guilty pleasure is a box of donuts.

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  10. Well if you're going to cheat this is the way to do it. You paid for it too and I can guess how.

    Have a fabulous day. Happy Halloween! ☺

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  11. Oh how I know that temptation. I rarely fall off the wagon but sometimes the craving for fried chicken just gets me and I am like a shark at a frenzy feed. Lucky for me the best fried chicken place here recently closed down. Phew.
    Kind of glad you didn't pee on the carpet as I first thought.

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  12. Super market fried chicken is surprisingly delicious. Almost as good as Popeye's.

    Sadly, I must go about my daily life convincing myself that fried chicken is disgusting, because my stomach's least favourite thing in the universe is fried chicken. It's very upsetting.

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  13. We had an Albertson's that featured "fried chicken Mondays." Eight pieces for only five bucks. And all the chicken was dark meat---my favorite. Fortunately that store went out of business so I'm no longer tempted.

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  14. I sometimes give in those same guilty pleasures as well and I too, suffer the consequences.

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  15. I don't even care that much for fried chicken and I was drooling!

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  16. Fried chicken is my favorite food--& it DOESN'T upset my stomach!!

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  17. You can't let that scraggly wing go to waste.

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  18. Do 10 "Oh Craps" and jog three times around the golf course and you will be forgiven :)
    r

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  19. Why does everything that tastes so good have to be bad for us. It's like some cruel culinary joke.

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  20. Don't you get cheat days?

    I've been doing quite well on watching what I eat all week. On Sundays, however, nothing has calories.

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  21. Omgosh.. Now I want to go out to our 24 hour grocery store and get some of that deliciousness! Poor you.. Mrs. C left you to fend for yourself.. Hahahaha. So of course you pick the thunderstorm in the belly food! Sometimes I think ice cream is a great before bed treat. It's not...

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  22. "I will never cheat again." - I believe I smell a lie ....

    "and there is that last piece of a scraggly wing…" - Thought so.

    And you just KNOW that grease is gonna beckon again. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but some day you'll be at the store without your conscience again and that'll be when it strikes again! ;-)

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  23. You are brilliant at your skills to make even duffer people like me laugh who laugh at jokes when everybody is done with laughing (comprehension problem you know).

    Sometimes it happens and it happens to me too .
    i see sweets and go mad and then later my head spins like wheel ,things around get foggy ,throat seems to have blockage blah blah...

    after bearing the terrible consequences i again promise to myself that i won't even look at the sweets but when they come before i do it again with support of my self invented logic that it's not a big sin or crime ,i am hurting only myself and little bit only .

    Hope you feeling better now
    Take great care Joe!

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