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Sunday, July 30, 2017

STUPID HEADLINES 073117

STUPID HEADLINES 073117 (oops, got the date wrong...I'm retired, what do I know)
It’s time again for
How much less?
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
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Stop Making Babies and Driving Cars to Save the Planet – Well I assure you, I have never made a baby while driving a car, so don’t blame that heat spell on me!
Airline spokesperson claimed person ‘passed gas’ on an American Airlines plane, forcing all passengers off at NC airport – American Airlines has decided to discontinue the burrito lunch option.
Will Smith says 'Star Wars' was better than sex – Either I saw a different movie, or he hasn’t found a very good partner!
Wisconsin company to implant microchips in its employees in August – There go the long bathroom breaks.
200 Allegiant Airlines passengers stranded in Las Vegas – When Allegiant stops in Vegas, you stay in Vegas!
79-year-old woman caught going 149 mph in Porsche Boxster said she 'needed to clear [her] head' – I’d like to know how they caught her!
Dentures left at scene lead to Tennessee man's rape conviction 16 years later – The only thing stupider than leaving your dentures at the scene of a crime, was it took 16 years to find the guy…and his name was on the dentures!
Teacher, 28, banned from classroom after allegedly having sex with student on plane – I think she should be banned from the plane.
Tom Brady is the owner of the New York Jets - according to Google – Well he owns them on the field, along with the rest of the NFL.
One-armed machete-wielding man arrested by Maine State Police – Dr. Richard Kimble was immediately released.

Humans came from galaxies, far, far away, scientists say – See, we definitely need a wall!



And the Feel-Good Story of the week:
Man Saves Beached Octopus, Last Thing He Expects Is A Thank You He'll Never Forget – Who doesn’t love a good octopus story?
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Come back again next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

16 comments:

  1. The Little Old Lady from Pasadena lives!

    Fun headlines, thanks for the morning smile.

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  2. Bwahahahahahahaha. Makes you wonder doesn't it. Yes it does.

    I linked this post to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  3. An amusing post. I enjoyed reading.

    Thank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.

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  4. Ouch, the first one. "If you didn't act like so gay, we wouldn't have to bully you."

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  5. That little octopus kind of gives you chills doesn't it?

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  6. One of your best "Stupid Headlines"!!

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  7. The pentagon should track down that gassy passenger. If they could bottle that----
    Loved the octopus story and the guy with a gentle heart.

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  8. Bwahahahahahahaha. Makes you wonder doesn't it. Yes it does.


    เย็ดสาว

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  9. No burrito lunch option on airplanes? Why fly at all?

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  10. I can't see getting microchiped by your employer or anyone for that matter.

    The octopus rescue was really good, I liked that.

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  11. I suppose the alleged student on the plane went a little overboard acting less gay.

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  12. I wonder how they would have cuffed that one armed guy?
    R

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  13. "79-year-old woman caught going 149 mph in Porsche Boxster"

    Was this a remake of the old Jan and Dean song, "The Little Old Lady From Pasadena"...go Granny, go Granny, go Granny go!

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  14. Utah boy pledges allegiance to flag when no one's looking – This brings to mind the classic philosophic question - If a boy pledges allegiance ...
    ตารางคะแนน

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  15. Never thought I'd be saying this to Will Smith, but. . . you're doing it wrong. . .

    And that must've been one HELL of a fart. . .

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  16. Note to self...don't fly American Airlines, don't fly Allegiant Airlines. Probably should test Will Smith's theory.

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