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Saturday, March 18, 2017

Stupid Headlines 031917

Stupid Headlines 031917
It’s time again for
Research also shows that food is a gateway drug for fat people
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
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Dick's to Cut Unpopular Brands From Stores   Two words that should never appear in the same sentence.  Actually three words, that branding thing is worrisome too.
Amazon Finds the Cause of Its Outage: A Typo – Crap, now I’m worried…I’m type O!
University launches Biden research and policy institute – This is ridiculous!  The guy prided himself on being an everyday working class “Joe”.  How complicated could he be to need a university institute to research him.
California elementary school bans 'tag' after it got too rough – TAG IS TOO ROUGH? We played kick-ball at recess, and if you forgot to wear a cup, THAT was rough!
Florida neighborhood on alert for escaped cobra – It was last seen slithering south on Elm Street.
MUIRFIELD GOLF CLUB VOTES TO ADMIT WOMEN FOR THE 1ST TIME IN ITS HISTORY – They can’t play on the course, but the members did finally admit that there are women.
Substitute allegedly brought boxed wine to school, vomited in class – Perhaps you can’t prove she had boxed wine, but how do you allegedly vomit in class?  There had to be witnesses.
Jared Fogle’s prison attacker regrets nothing – As despicable as that child molesting scumbag is, there is no excuse for attacking him.  That prisoner ought to go to jail.  Oh, wait! 
Saudi woman who faced death threats for removing hijab could get lashed instead – And I thought not allowing kids to play tag was unreasonable.
Woman drives vehicle through jail lobby doors – A good way to get In-car- serrated.
Engineer Creates Sex Robot That Needs To Be Romanced First – Hell, might as well date a real woman!
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And the feel-good story of the week:
McDonald’s Employee Pedro Viloria Jumps Through Drive-Thru Window To Save Police Officer’s Life - Believe it or not, this week’s Feel-good story is from (drum roll) FLORIDA!!
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Come Back Next Week For More
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

11 comments:

  1. That was one quick thinking McDonalds employee. Now if they could only get your order straight.

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  2. Listen, I'm an engineer, and I know we've got this reputation for being socially-inept nerds. . . But I'm wondering - if this guy is making a sex robot, how the hell does he even know what 'romancing' is? Dude, just stop. You're making the rest of us look even more clueless than we already are. . .

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  3. I love the headlines, but your additions make them even better.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday as always.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  4. Pretty sure Biden research is to find out how a guy could be in politics most of his life and still be a nice guy.
    Thanks for the positive Florida story. It isn't easy being a Florida transplant these days.

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  5. Wow. I hope that school finds something fo0r the kids to do that is less rough than tag.

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  6. Your sophomoric comments were exemplary today!

    We played kickball on a blacktop playground with potholes in it, and a lot of loose gravel sprinkled around. We would have had better traction on ice.

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  7. It is nice the golf club will finally admit there are women, since i'm pretty sure all of the members had mothers.

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  8. "University launches Biden research and policy institute" This is is probably fake because it would be a good idea. Joe Biden was absolutely wrong about every policy he ever had and young students should be taught what not to think.

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  9. So many good ones here. You really have a talent for writing these. As for me, food has definitely been a gateway drug.

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  10. Har-har. Thanks for your ever cleverness. This stuff is great.

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