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Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Exercise Equipment

Exercise Equipment
Everyone wants to get in shape, firm up and look good, especially this time of the year.  It can be done.  Exercise works, but exercise is also work.  I manage to get my butt to the gym maybe twice a week, but it is not fun.  Mrs. C wants to tighten up a muscle or three, but she seems to be convinced it can be done without work, she even thinks exercise can be fun.
I keep telling her, a tread mill, walking, pushups and so on is the only way, there is no easy exercise and there clearly is no fun exercise…well there is that, but two minutes a week don’t burn many calories.
Mrs. C is an easy mark for the “as seen on TV” exercise equipment crap.  
She has a machine in the bedroom that you swing back and forth on your knees.  It might work on the abs, but it is not that easy…that is why it might work.  This machine serves as a place to hang clothes and a trap for me to trip on and maybe break my neck.
Not even that good for hanging clothes
She has a thing you wrap around your waist and hit a button, an electrical current works your muscles while you watch TV.  It tingles and scares the crap out of you.  It is in a box somewhere.
I don't think so!
Mrs. C bought one of those shake things for toning her arms.  It looks like you are pleasuring the machine, and it does nothing for the arms.
Does nothing except look obscene
I did buy a “Total Gym” machine advertised by Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley.  It is a work out, it is not easy, but ten minutes will work all your muscle groups.  This machine works by using the weight of your body.  The higher you tilt the machine, the greater the resistance.  Mrs. C does not like the machine at my level of resistance and it is a pain to adjust it, so she will not use this machine that actually is pretty good.
Actually works, but it is work
The other night she brought home a new contraption.  It is a $40 plastic curved piece of crap that you stand on and do the twist.  Why you can’t achieve the same thing by doing the twist in your stocking feet ala Chubby Checker I don’t know, but it does look like fun on the TV commercial.
Death Device
Not fun!  It ain’t as easy as it looks like on TV.  I almost broke my neck three times before I gave up on it.  Even holding on to the wall this thing is dangerous.  Mrs. C tried it and had about the same success as I did.  It is a torn cartilage waiting to happen, and you can’t even hang clothes on it.  Both of us could lose a pound or two and tone up a bit, but it is not worth this devil device.
If only I could make walking around the block and doing a few push-ups look like fun.  

18 comments:

  1. If you keep this up, you can make extra money by charging other people membership fees to come over to your house to try out all of your old equipment.

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  2. I see some of these things Mrs. Cranky has purchased and I wonder if they are really worth it. I'm thinking perhaps not???? We did buy a treadmill a few weeks back. Walking on such a thing seems reasonably safe to me at the moment and hasn't been delegated as a rack to hold clothes, etc.

    betty

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  3. Why don't you like them? They make fantastic clothes hangers!!

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  4. I should tone up too, the flab hanging under my belt looks like a lump of pizza dough. I'm losing weight though, by eating a lot less, 4kg gone since NYE. The 'big' shorts are too loose now.
    I don't think I'll get toned soon though, exercise is not my thing. Gardening at my kids place might help, I'm cutting back shrubbery there.

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  5. Out Total Gym is in the front closet, not sure all the parts are there anymore. His inversion table thingy has been used twice and is a handy rack for his clothes. The exercycle is in the kitchen behind the little sofa and is used exclusively as a coat rack.

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  6. And all that equipment doesn't come cheap! Until recently I depended on yoga exercises to keep me fit. Then I got too unfit even to do that. What a life!

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  7. My bike is the only bit of exercise equipment I own. I know that anything else would just gather dust or be tripped over. Luckily I love my bike. I think that's the key, find something you actually enjoy so it's not a chore. I'm not fitness freak and there are bits of me that could do with toning up but I'm out and about most days getting some fresh air and actually taking time to see things. It doesn't really make me fit but it does make me happy.

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  8. Gah! That's a lot of exercise "stuff". And here I'm slightly annoyed with the elliptical machine that our daughter talked my wife into buying a few years back. Of course, she has no room for it (no, really) so it has to stay here. I'm not overly inclined to use it, as it seems to aggravate both my hips and my knees. *grumble*.
    You must be in great shape though. Cudos.

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  9. Walking around the block COULD be fun if there was an ice cream cone somewhere along the way.

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  10. Being in shape takes work and determination. You can't beat the tried and true. Your way of working out is my way.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  11. I always smile when I see these devices advertised on TV. I'm not a big fan of exercise although I'm currently swimming and going to the gym twice a week. I do enjoy tennis though. It's a great aerobic workout and I don't notice that I'm running, which I don't normally enjoy.

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  12. Sounds like time for a yard sale. I fell for that shake thing--what a waste. Now days--mostly due to ugly weather--I have become a mall walker. Not having a mall in tiny town, I use Walmart. I zoom the perimeter buggy free till I get in 5000 steps, then I shop. There are quite a few of us doing the same. Actually more fun than 30 boring min on my treadmill listening to the oldies. We work with what we've got.

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  13. Hiking is a fun way to get in some exercise.

    I usually don't buy into any of the exercise-at-home trends. But recently, in one of those funky junk catalogs, you get in the mail, I bought this contraption, that hooks on a chair and uses resistance to tone you. It's still sitting in the box. Too lazy to pull out the chair, and hook it up. So, I go to the gym.

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  14. Dance as exercise can be fun. It might be worth a try.

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  15. I get all the excercise I can handle just lifting my glass at night.

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  16. Wait! Is this a cranky old man's blog, or a medieval torture chamber? What has been seen cannot be unseen.

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  17. You should just sell all that dust-collecting exercise equipment and use the money for a few personal trainer lessons by young Mr. Cranky. Seems that since he is family, maybe he'd throw in a few free lessons...

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  18. The majority of my exercise comes from being outdoors. Of course in the winter it's a little iffy but we have a nice lit'l workout center right across the parking lot that's free for residents that I should most definitely utilize more often than I do.

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