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Saturday, January 21, 2017

Stupid Headlines 012217

Stupid Headlines 012217
It’s time again for
Makes Sense.

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 

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Norwegian mass murderer says prison isolation 'damaged' him – Awww!
Study suggests humans arrived in North America 10,000 years earlier than past estimates – Dates got all screwed up because of that Y10K BC thing.
Authorities to search Manchester home of woman missing 35 years – Let’s see, she’s been missing for 35 years…I’ve got it, check her house.
‘Ice cream killer’ is so dangerous, she’s headed to a men’s prison She killed her husband and boyfriend for not getting her pregnant.  Is sending her to a male prison really a good idea?
Air Force general uses $387G in taxpayer funds to renovate foyer – Well it probably was…er…maybe it needed…ah…you have to realize that…eh…Ah shit, that is friggin excessive!
Man suffers burns after trying to set himself on fire outside Trump Hotel – This is too easy, but someone has to say it… “You’re Fired!”
Actor to Millions of Fans: Aborted Babies Are 'A LOT Cheaper' – But then where would he get those millions of fans?  May I add, “You fu*king idiot!”

Pennsylvania man tried strangling wife after dreaming she cheated – This is why I have made it very clear to my wife that I am not responsible for anything I do in her dreams…unless it is something really good.

No charges for duo who shot amateur porn at railway station – Sometimes the headline isn’t the best part…the explanation for no charges filed: "Because despite the fact the film only surfaced last December, the actual filming happened more than year ago: outside the statute of limitations for charges to be laid."  Is that an editorial Freudian slip?
Box of Jamaican beef patties found stuffed with cocaine at airport – I’ll have what he’s having.
‘Moby Dick’s’ Restaurant Blocked From Opening Because Name Is Deemed Insulting – Building’s owners prefer a classy restaurant like Hooters.
 THE FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:
Greyhound with a broken leg leads Spanish vets two miles to her puppies – A good dog story never fails.

 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4135630/Dog-broken-leg-leads-vets-two-miles-puppies.html#ixzz4WM62gyiP 

13 comments:

  1. Tight end returns after colon surgery? What was he pre-surgery...a wide receiver?

    Love the feel-good story. :)

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  2. Heh, heh! I liked your Y10K BC comment, and my 13-year-old self liked the Moby Dick/Hooters combo!

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  3. You left something off your acronyms list, but I was able to figure it out.

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  4. Sometimes i have to shake my head in disbelief -- how do you find these! Loved the dog story.

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  5. What is happening to people? Do they check their brains somewhere and then go off and do stupid things? I'm guessing that's about right.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday as always.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  6. I always appreciate the Sunday smiles this post brings.

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  7. Ditto Stephen Hayes; exactly what I was going to say.

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  8. If I ever turn up missing, I hope someone checks my house first. I can sometimes be a bit of a recluse, so 35 years is not out of the question.

    On second thought, don't check my house. Just leave me the hell alone and stay off the grass...

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  9. You have to really feel bad for that Norwegian prisoner ...
    Good feel good story.

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  10. You had me smiling till I read about the greyhound. Thankfully it had a happy ending but mercy, she was so thin you could read through her. Would love to find the person who dumped her.

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  11. I can relate to the Pennsylvania man who tried strangling his wife after dreaming she cheated...I once woke up mad at my husband after he did something really stupid in my dream. No strangling involved, though.

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