It is a standard joke that men will never ask for directions. No matter how lost, men will plod along forever till they run out of gas rather than ask for directions. As with most running jokes or stereotypes, there is some justification for this myth.
The truth is that men will ask for directions, they just will not ask for them as quickly as will women. Women will suggest, “Pull over and ask for directions” at the drop of a hat. The result is man can never be right regarding directions. No matter the result of asking directions they will always be told, “Well it didn’t hurt to ask.”
If a man and his lady are in the car looking for a specific location, the woman will question the directions without any indication of being lost.
“I think we should pull over and ask for directions.”
“Why, we have the directions that Ralph gave us…so far they seem correct.”
“I don’t trust Ralph; remember how he gave us bad directions to the lake.”
“No, his directions were spot on. You demanded we ask a pimply-faced teenager for directions when we were only a ½ mile from the lake. He told us to turn around and sent us to the wrong lake.”
“Well Ralph never mentioned the McDonalds. How can you not mention a landmark like that? It made me think we missed a turn.”
“Landmark? It was a fast food restaurant on route 130. There is a fast food restaurant on every corner!”
“Not a McDonalds! Those big golden arches…How do you not mention big golden arches? Just pull over and ask someone. Why are you afraid to ask?”
“Ok, ok I’ll pull into this Exxon station. The dude with the turban and the strap-on beard looks like a local…Excuse me sir, can you tell me is this the way to Calvert Place?”
CATCHOCHATCH?…CATCH O CHATCH FOR GAS!!*
“No, I don’t need gas, just directions.”
“No catch, no chatch, no gas…directions!”
“Direct? Where you go?”
“I tell, one dollar.”
“One dollar? That’s crazy. One dollar for directions?”
“Oh give him the dollar; it will be worth it to not get lost.”
“Ok, here, one dollar, now do you know where Calvert Place is?”
“Yes…turn right at light on corner when you pull out of station. You know, at the sign that says ‘Calvert Place’.”
“…Thanks… That’s just great, one dollar to point out Calvert Place twenty yards away. Ralph’s directions were right again.”
“Well he should have said to look for an Exxon Station. How do you not mention a big friggin tiger? And what did it hurt to just ask?”
*In New Jersey we do not pump our own gas. "Catchochatch" is gas station-attentant language for "Will that be cash or charge sir?" Do not ask "What?" or you will be yelled at for being a stupid American who does not understand perfectly clear gas station-attendant language.