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Monday, December 12, 2016

Shoes Are to Women as Tools are to ___?

Shoes Are to Women as Tools are to ___?
This re-run is from November 2014

Anybody?  Class…any one? 

Men...Shoes are to women as tools are to men.

In a recent post, I made fun of Mrs. Cranky’s insatiable appetite for shoes and asked the question, “What is it about women and shoes?”

http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2014/10/too-many-shoes.html 

One blogger, Leenie B., commented via a Shakespeare quote that everyone has their equivalent of Mrs. Cranky’s shoes.

http://bonkersycarax.blogspot.com/ (Leenie B's blog)

Who am I to argue with Shakespeare?  

Shakespeare and Lennie B. are of course correct.  In my case and in the case of many men, my obsession used to be tools.

When I owned a house, and not a townhouse, I collected tools for yard work or handyman jobs around the house.  I started with a screw driver, a hammer and a shovel.  Whatever job I started to do, I never had the right screw driver, hammer or shovel.  I had to go to the hardware store and buy a hex head screw driver, or a Phillip’s head screw driver, or a larger flat head, or a ball peen hammer or a small sledge hammer, or a spade, or a small pointy shovel or etc. etc.

It never mattered what job I might tackle, I never had the right tool.

Tools became an obsession. 

I could not go to Home Depot, Lowe's, or any hardware store without buying at least one tool.  My ex-wife claimed she hated Home Depot because the testosterone overload made it hard for her to breath.

I bought multiple screw driver sets; one for the work shop, one for the shed, and one for the kitchen.  didn't ever want to be too far from the right screw driver.

Still, I always seemed to need a driver with a longer handle, or a different size.  I can’t tell how many times I used a quarter or a knife because I didn't have the right slot size.

I bought multiple hammers, many which have never struck a nail.  I bought wrenches and pliers in many styles.  The TV commercials made them look so handy.  They never worked quite as well as they did on the TV.

Then I bought wedges, pry bars, drills, saws, all of multiple sizes and shapes.  I had clamps for little tiny stuff and claps for great big stuff.  I didn't have much need for any of these but it felt good to know that if a need would arise, I had the right tool.

Then I graduated to power tools!  Oh how I loved my power tools.  Drills, table saws, jig saws, chain saws, (cue a Tim Allen ooh ooh ooh ah)   I even had a large drill press. 

The sad truth is that whenever the need would arise, I still never had the right tool.  It seems that every job ever encountered requires a special tool for that job and that job alone, and you never have that special tool.

Kind of like a shoe to go with a special outfit in different weather at a certain time of the year for a specific function.

See ladies, I really do get it.  I just think shoes are funnier than tools.

16 comments:

  1. You're no McGyver, that's for sure. A paper clip and a roll of duct tape was almost all he ever needed.
    I still have only seven pairs of shoes, three summer, three winter and the sneakers I wear all year long.

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  2. We were lucky, least-ways hubby was, when I inherited my dad's tools but still the occasions rose when more had to be purchased. The excuse was that 'times change and so do the tools'. Anyone want to buy a few tools?

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  3. My shoe collection is simple -- black flats, black heels (the same pair for 20 years, only worn one or two times a year), and black work shoes. Sweetie has shoes everywhere, and tools everywhere, and his music gear, and -- well, i have books. He has books, too.

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  4. Hubby has a lot of tools and he still needs that occasional new one for something he is working on. I don't get it. I was surprised years ago when the kids were young and we were playing. We all got our shoes together to see who had the most pairs. I won even though I didn't realize I had that many. Now I'm down to just a handful of pairs of them. Older I get, the less I need.

    betty

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  5. This reminded me of a post you did about your wife's scissors...

    The right tool for the job was something my husband always stressed and he always kept a very neat work area as you pictured here. His tools were for motorcycles or mechanical, plumbing and electrical work around the house.
    He influenced me about the right tool thing but I failed to influence him about the right shoes for the outfit. Well, if it didn't require work boots, a pair of sneakers or flipflops (only one of each at any given time) he didn't wear it. Oh, and his motorcycle boots, which I now use for a doorstop.

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  6. The most interesting thing about my husband's workshop is that there are so many tools, I can't for the life of me find a hammer or regular screwdriver when I need one.

    I manage to fix most things with one tool......my hot glue gun.

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  7. I'm not a shoe person. It's never been an obsession with me. Now back in the day purses were a different story.

    I understand about tools. You sound just like my husband.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  8. Before my hands became unhandy, I had as many or more tools than DH did, although his are more for cars and mine are made for jewelry and woodworking. I own two pair of footware - HD, has close to a dozen.

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  9. Years ago, my grandfather was showing off a fancy new air compressor he'd purchased. I asked him why he needed it. What he was going to use it for.

    He said, "Nazzy, you know... It's something that's just nice to have!"

    That pretty well sums it up, I guess.

    I do have a lot of shoes, though. But that's because there are 7 days in a week.

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  10. I'm an improviser with tools so a meager supply seems to work. The only thing I am stupid about is coats. I have one for every degree of temperature. Nuts--I know.

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  11. Over the years I relied on just three tools, a hammer, a screwdriver and a staple gun. If it couldn't be done with these, I didn't do it. Of course I have dozens of tools, but mostly for painting.

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  12. We all have to have something to satisfy our inner collector.

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  13. I'm reminded of the time my teenaged son's friend came over because he had a loose wire in his car radio & I was the only mom he knew who had a soldering iron (for my stained glass)!!

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  14. I have tools that I don't remember ever acquiring. Nor do I know what to use them for. We've slowly been getting rid of them but I still have too many.

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  15. So true Cranky. Once upon a time I had a complete home woodworking shop...table saw, miter saw, drill press, planer, router(s), etc. Then I had several detached retinas that left one eye pretty much screwed. A friend then told me, half serious, half joking, that I was "one eye away from living in a 'home'." Ouch! Soon after I began selling off my tools.

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  16. My husband used to want one of every kind of tool. Now he wants to build a separate shed to keep each of them in!

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