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Friday, December 2, 2016

No Opinion

No Opinion
A cranky non-opinion for
Cranky Opinion Saturday

The following non-opinion is the opinion of a cranky old man who has no opinion this week.  Opposing non-opinion are welcome, but they are wrong.  As always, please, no name calling, and that means you, you big stupid-head.

“What’s the matter?” Mrs. Cranky wanted to know as I scratched my head in disgust while staring at an empty word document.
“I have no opinions.  I need to write something for ‘Cranky Opinion Saturday’ and I have no opinions.”
“What?  You have nothing but opinions.  I sit on this bed every night watching TV and hear nothing but your opinions.  ‘This commercial is stupid’ ‘I hate that guy’ ‘Why are we watching this stupid program’.  That doesn’t even cover your constant rants on politics, terrorism, religion, abortion, gay rights, where people can pee.  It never ends, what do you mean you have no opinions?”
“I can’t rant about TV or commercials, that can’t be an opinion post, I can’t be that shallow. 
I can’t post any opinions on politics, terrorism or religion, that will just get half of my followers to unfollow.  Abortion, gay rights, any social issue also just gets people angry.  I think all my opinions are just too divisive, even when I think I’m being pretty rational.  There is just too much anger out there to have any discussion these days.”
“Gun control?”
“No way, last time my life was threatened by people in seven states and three different countries.”
“What about sports?  You never shut up about sports.”
“Two thirds of my 27 followers are women and they could care not less about sports.  For some, the mere mention of sports gets them angry.  Except for that lady in Arkansas, and one baseball fan in Florida, none of them like sports.  One lady was even rooting for her granddaughter’s high school football team to lose so it would end the season for band practice!  Can you believe it? And she is an otherwise very nice lady.  I tell you it is brutal out there, I just have to end my opinions.”
“No way, then I’ll have to hear all your rants.  You need to vent in print to save me some sanity.  How about opinions on the differences between men and women?”
“Are you crazy?  That is a real powder keg.  The simple mention of differences between the sexes and I am branded a misogynist.  OMG, bring up one female stereotype and it comes back in spades about how horrible and lazy and stupid men are; that valedictorian lady will tell me to stick my opinions under a towel, and my few male readers won’t say a thing.  

The guy in Alabama just says ‘Your treading on thin ice Dudeand they don’t even have ice in Alabama, do they?  Then the news caster dude in Arizona simply says he’s afraid to say anything because SWMBO* might see it; The ex-chubby guy in Oregon sometimes agrees with the caveat that it does not apply to his wife; and Mike in Montana just does a snide comment hit and run.  The only male reader that will voice a real opinion on gender differences is that builder in Texas and he’s on like his third marriage, so what does he know?
That’s it, no opinions this week, there is still too much anger in this world.”
“Isn’t no opinion because there is too much anger an opinion?”

The preceding non-opinion was the opinion of a cranky old man.
Who am I to argue with management…Mrs. Cranky.




*She Who Must Be Obeyed 

24 comments:

  1. Maybe it is good once in a while to take a "bye" week and not have an opinion. Blame it on the post Thanksgiving, getting ready for Christmas "rush" and go for it. I might not always agree with your opinions, but they are always something interesting to read.

    betty

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  2. I like reading all the comments on your opinions posts. Even if I don't agree with them or you. Or with Mrs C.

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  3. Even if i disagree with you, i like you enough to keep coming back and reading.

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    1. I agree with messymimi... and with you.. sometimes. ;)

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  4. To stop giving your opinions would be like taking a life ending drug. DON'T GO THERE. Anyway, who would be left to entertain us?

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  5. Maybe you could throw caution to the wind and post a positive opinion? Nah! That wouldn't be any fun at all. I think it's interesting to find out what other people are thinking about...go ahead and post about sports......you know that thing where they throw the ball around and then everybody falls on everybody else...that one.

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  6. Looks like you have toweled your own self!

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  7. Well, I must say you have cleverly disguised a fair number of opinions here. If I had the time I would go back over a bunch of previous posts and try to match the opinions with he followers. Although I did know the Arkansas lady who like baseball right away.

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  8. I like your opinions Joe. You have a right to your opinions just like everyone else. I think that's the problem though...anger. Everyone is so super sensitive about everything. That's just my opinion.

    Have a fabulous weekend my friend. My best to your wife. ☺

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  9. In my non-opinion, you nailed it.

    Of course I will deny ever reading or commenting on your blog to anyone who questions me about it.

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  10. Nice peek into the bloggers in your life. You seem to know them so well!
    Fun post, btw.

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  11. Haha. Gender differences will get people mad, but NOTHINg gets people going like race.

    Many years ago, I had a different blog than I do now and I TRIED to get people riled up. Nothing worked - everyone agreed with me no matter what I said. I even insulted the military, yet everyone chose to read it in less-than-insulting terms.

    But race? Wow.

    If you want 600 comments overnight, write about race.

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  12. Your post reminds me of a letter the Roman poet Ovid sent to a friend, where he wrote: You claim you have nothing to write me about? Write and tell me that. Or words to that effect. It is hard coming up with posts that will entertain without offending. I have a file filled with posts I chose not to post because I figured I'd lose followers.

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  13. I can afford to open up with my opinions because Texas is an "open carry" state. ;)

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  14. A Saturday without an opinion is like a Saturday without sunshine..or orange juice.

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  15. I am agreeing with Mrs. C today. Yep, too much anger out there is an opinion and you stated it well.
    Hey, sports any time big guy.

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  16. During this conversation with Mrs. C, she did not even once say, "If you want an opinion, I'll give you mine!"

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  17. Man, Joe. 'Snide'I can live with, even agree with my kids if I thought they or you were right. But nevermind that. The part that stings, hurts actually, is 'hit and run'.
    Now, here's what I think about that: um, gotta phone call. gotta go.....
    Mike

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  18. I caught a trout on a crawfish once. You should try to yodel.
    R

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  19. The intelligent bloggers are no longer allowed to speak. What is the world coming to?

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  20. I agree with Mrs. C, and not for nothin'. I love the Detroit Lions. :)

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  21. Soooooo .... your Cranky Opinion for the week is that you can't give a Cranky opinion 'cause it's too scary?? ;-)

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