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Tuesday, December 13, 2016

A Suit Just Doesn’t Suit Me

A Suit Just Doesn’t Suit Me
I think one of the things I enjoy most about retirement is I don’t have to wear a suit.  When I worked, I had to wear a suit every day; why I don’t know, it is not as if I ever had a face to face with a customer.  I worked in what they call the “Back Office” operations in a very large Brokerage Firm.
I have never been comfortable in a suit, and I never look good in a suit.  I know some people who love wearing suits.  A suit makes them feel powerful, and they wear it well.  Pressed, crisp, shoes spit shined, these good suit wearers always looked good, never wrinkled.  People who wear a suit well are always successful.
I could never find a suit that fit correctly.  My shirt collars were always too tight, my shirt sleeves always too long or too short, my newly polished shoes were always stepped on several times before I made it to the office.  My suits looked crisp and clean when I left the house.  I arrived at work damp and rumpled.  I never looked good in a suit.  I think if I did I may have risen to a higher rank at work.  It was not to be.  No one wants a rumpled manager.
I hated those dress shirts as well.  I missed more trains because I could not get that stupid useless tiny button, just beyond the wrist of the shirt, connected.  It was near impossible, but I would not leave home until I got them fastened.  Often when the shirt came back from the cleaner those tiny buttons all starched up broke under the pressing process.  Buttoning a tiny half button was doubly difficult.
Stupid wrist button, can't see'em, can't button'em up.
I now almost never wear a suit.  I only need one for weddings or funerals.  Mrs. C didn’t like any of my old work suits so several years ago, she took me to buy a new suit for a wedding.  The suit store had a sale; buy one get two suits free, which meant that for $375, you get three $125 suits.  They only have these sales on days that end in a “Y.”
I got a dark suit for the wedding, a light suit for summer and striped suit for applying for a mortgage.  I only wore the wedding suit once and then I lost two sizes of body weight.
We had another wedding, so I now have three more suits.  Three suits for a fat Cranky, three suits for a svelte Cranky.  Six suits for a retired man who never looks good in a suit anyway.  
I told Mrs. Cranky to save one of the striped suits for the viewing.  I hate viewings, but I guess I won’t really have any say.
It does piss me off to think that the last thing my friends and family will have to say about me is, “They did a wonderful job; except he looks rumpled in that suit.”

17 comments:

  1. Just make sure the jacket is freshly pressed. Don't they just usually do viewings from the waist up? Son "cleans" up really good in a suit. Nowadays with all the business casual type of stuff out there, I wonder if there is any occupation that requires suit wearing (probably still lawyers I would imagine).

    betty

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  2. The best suits are tailor made to your measurements and with a blended fabric that holds the shape throughout the wearing. Something with silk or wool in it and the best quality you can afford. Of course you're retired now so don't need this information.
    Those useless tiny sleeve buttons remained permanently done up on my husbands shirts, so he only had to button the cuffs. All shirts were washed and ironed at home, so if a button broke I replaced it right away.

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  3. It's whole body viewing here.... hubby would have been furious if he'd known. He wasn't a suit man, although he did look good in one.

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  4. I feel your pain. I have a suit but I rarely wear it. I was with the phone co and I worked 3rd shift as a supervisor but I still had to wear a suit.
    R

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  5. I've always loved a man in a suit! Fortunately, my husband still wears one once a week for work.

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  6. Dressing up can be painful. As for the viewing, you can tell your wife what Grandma has told me to do for her. She wants a sign over the casket that says, "The deceased wants to inform you that she does not want people standing around the casket saying, 'She looks so good.' The deceased wants you to know that she does not look good, she looks dead."

    It's sure to break the ice, and they will know you have a sense of humor and it's okay to laugh at the rumpled suit.

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  7. Oh, it looks like they're almost finished with the wall.

    My husband always wore a suit even after he was retired......sans tie, of
    course.

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  8. My husband owned one suit, no dress shoes and no tie. He wore jeans (which he insisted on calling dungarees) and tee-shirts from motorcycle shops and swap meets for all his working life. Dressed for success in his particular business. When we retired and started going to Florida, he bought shorts and cotton sport shirts. I believe he rented a suit and shined his biker boots for his daughter's formal wedding. Not to be mean, but at least he never wore tow different plaids at the same time.

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  9. I wore men's suits to work in the eighties. It was a defiance thing. Ties, too. I never unbuttoned that tiny button. It would have defied me to fasten it again.

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  10. Some people pull off wearing a suit well and others don't. I so remember my work days.

    Are you sure you want strips for your viewing?

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  11. I'm going to be buried in my favourite jeans and t shirt and there will be NO viewing thank you very much. Just roll me in the hole and throw the dirt in after me.

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  12. My dad was a truck driver/delivery man & he almost never wore a suit. We buried him in a polo shirt so God would recognize him!!

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  13. I was fortunate enough not to have to wear a suit since sometime in the mid 1970's. I got along with a blue blazer and a black turtleneck for funerals.

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  14. I never liked men in suits. Too many just can't pull it off so don't feel unusual. I think you are the norm.

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  15. Ha! I used to wear suits every day when I managed a jewelry store but haven't had one on in years. Now I don't even have one that fits.

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  16. The only person I know who looks good in a suit is my son Genius, who has a keen fashion sense, and picked it out for himself to wear to job interviews. Even though he will probably get a job in one of those hipster computer-centered companies that let employees wear pajamas or workout gear to spur their imagination.

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  17. once again, in your head. you have no idea what people are going to say, & you wont look rumpled.(if I have anything to do with it) I guess it never occurred to you (until I made a mistake) to just get shirts with a larger collar size.

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