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Tuesday, November 1, 2016

It’s Is All Mom’s Fault

It’s Is All Mom’s Fault
Something I read recently reminded me of my mom.   Mom, like most moms, was great in many ways, but she did have one trait that bugged me no end.  She always had something good to say about everyone.

That doesn’t sound like a bad trait, does it?  Let me put it in context.
A seven-year-old boy comes home all grumpy and Mom asks,
“What’s wrong?”
“Billy Andrews kicked me in the shin for no reason!”
“Well, maybe he was just having a bad day, he’s usually a nice boy…he’s going to be a baseball player you know.”
Who does that?  What mom does not unleash some righteous anger at her son’s tormentor.  Plus, she had to throw in that baseball player stuff.  That’s another thing…I had to compete with what other mothers said their kid was going to be! How do you compete with what someone is going to be?
As a pre-teen, you come home from school dejected about a grade on a composition.
“What’s wrong?”
“Mrs. Gromawitz gave me a B on my paper because I misspelled two words.”
“Well, spelling is important, and you know Mrs. Gromawitz daughter is going to be a famous author and she is a very good speller.”
Crap, not what I wanted to hear.  Hell, I was a bad speller, have always been a bad speller and always will be a bad speller.  Hearing how important spelling is was like telling a slow runner he would always suck at sports.
A teenage Cranky gets off the phone looking disappointed.
“What’s wrong.”
“That stuck-up Cathy Brown can’t go to the dance, says she thinks she'll be busy.”
“Well she probably has to wash her hair that night…she’s going to be a movie star you know.”

ARRRRGH!!

I think that this is why I am so cranky.  If I was angry, judged unfairly, or shot down, mom always made excuses.  Maybe if she just stood up for her son, expressed a little righteous indignation on my behalf,  I would not have any pent up anger which has manifested itself into crankiness.
Maybe if I didn’t have to live up to the high achievements my peers were going to reach I would have been more successful myself.  Hell, why even try; who can compete with what someone else is going to be?
Well this has been very enlightening.  All my issues are the fault of my mom.  It is good to get this off my chest and to realize any of my short comings are not my fault.
I guess I’ll get off the couch now and go yell at something on the TV.

26 comments:

  1. My mother did a number on me. Makes me wonder how bumfuzzled my own kids are ...

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  2. LOL, I think I'm a lot like your mom. I would always try to see the good in others. But I did (do) fiercely love these kids of mine and would fight to the end for them even if that meant selling someone else short or pushing someone under the bus.

    betty

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  3. Mum's fault? I don't think so. Probably your mum said those things in an effort to have you strive harder, not just give up feeling you couldn't possibly compete, that you weren't worth it.
    "Mum's fault" is an excuse, not a reason.

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    1. how could you miss the tone of in his statement?of course this is not serious

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  4. I guess your mom learned from mine. If only they knew how hard it was to hear about the good in others and not us. A little praise goes a long way!

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  5. Ah, the myth of the perfect mother -- it has ruined us all!

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  6. Your poor Mom... It's all her fault!

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  7. loved the twist on what they're going to be. :)

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  8. Yeah, the future career thing is a bit unusual of a response...lol

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  9. I'm afraid I might do that. I always try and say something nice about people - especially when I'm about to say something mean about them.

    I don't have any kids, though, and probably never will. If I do, I will watch out for doing that!

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  10. You should have had me as a neighbor. My goal was to become an overachieving underachiever. I think I nailed it!

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  11. Sounds like your mom was perfect to me. Just saying.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

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  12. My mother was mean. She was so mean her hobby was training professional Wrestlers. She was so mean she still get's a royalty check when anyone else is mean. She was so mean when she took a walk through the Arizona desert, rattle snakes left the country. I tell ya she was mean.

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  13. You think you had it bad? When I said something she'd put down her Parliment in the ashtray, set down the gin and tonic and look at me over the top of her horn-rimmed glass quizzically. "Who are you again?"
    Heh....

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  14. Maybe other kids were told by their mothers to go easy on you because you were going to become grumpy and a famous blogger.

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  15. If only she'd known you would grow up to be cranky she might have been more supportive lol.

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  16. See, all you had to do was make up something to tell yer mom what YOU were gonna be. . .

    FWIW, my wife and I have told our kids that, if they screw up their lives and blame it on us, we're cuttin' 'em out of the will. So now, we just have to amass enough of a fortune in the years we have left, for that threat to inspire anything other than derisive laughter. . .

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  17. Your over-protective mom just couldn't tell you, "Sweetie, you're going to grow up to be a jerk."

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  18. "Mother knows best." I used to hate that phrase.

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  19. But the TV is trying its best to entertain you & it's going to be a movie someday...!!

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  20. Aww, poor baby to have been so abused:)) Must say, I just love your Mom.

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  21. My mom would just say, "Consider the source." What the heck is THAT supposed to mean? I was telling her about some butthole I couldn't stand, and my mom would not join in.

    Then, when I'd get a new job, she'd say, "You don't have to tell them what you think, you know." Like I was some kind of complainer!

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  22. My daughter confides in me because I sympathize.
    Even if one cannot sympathize at least making an other person feel good by nodding with a friendly smile can help.
    It used to be a culture that parents considered it babying if parents sympathized when kids got physically hurt or even mentally tormented, specially boys, so you have my double sympathy even at your age. Your mom is an example of tough moms I guess, as my mom was. My mom raised me to be tough, but I try to be kind with the hurting. Band aid, helps, does not hurt.

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  23. My kids had the "Rambo mom." Seriously. That's what the teachers and principals called me. Why? Because I told my kids to absolutely stand up for themselves in school and if somebody punches them, kicks them, trips them, whatever - beat their ass. It won't happen again. - Apparently that's not what you're supposed to say to your kids or explain to their teachers. Ooops.

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  24. Go ahead and yell at the TV. Better than yelling at Mrs. Cranky.

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