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Wednesday, October 26, 2016

The Logic Train Does Not Stop At My House


The Logic Train Does Not Stop At My House


Mrs. C complains that I often make fun of her idiosyncrasies.  She thinks she has no idiosyncrasies.  I guess if you don’t call hiding food from you husband, or not wanting to walk on the sidewalk, or dipping your spoon in pudding instead of scooping it, idiosyncrasies, then she is correct.  Just when I get used to one “unusual modus operandi” I uncover another.

The other day my garage door remote was not working.  I figured it needed a new battery, but I also thought we had another remote that would have a good battery.  I looked in a small kitchen storage thingy that is stuffed with assorted papers in little filing slots and then pulls open for extra stuff storage.

I was pretty sure that this is where the second remote was.  When I opened it up, a wad of about 220 old losing lottery tickets spilled out. 

“WTF!” This was not good.

Mrs. C was not home; she was working at a ballroom dance competition.  Mrs. C does not want me snooping around in this cabinet.  I could not stack all those tickets back in a way that would allow me to put them back and also close the door. 

I did find the other remote. 

When Mrs. C called later that day I confessed to her what I did. 

“I can’t close that kitchen cabinet thingy and also put back all your lottery tickets.”

“What were you doing in that cabinet anyway, and don’t you lose those tickets?”

“I was looking for the other garage remote, which I found, and what the heck are you saving those tickets for anyway?”

“Never mind!”

“You’re saving them as a tax write off in case you hit the big one aren’t you.”

“Maybe.”

“You realize that more than half those tickets are older than a year and couldn’t be used as a write off don’t you?”

“Maybe, just don’t throw them away.”

“As ridiculous as it is to save a fist full of losing tickets so when you hit for $100,000 or more we would only have to pay tax on $99,815, at least let me toss the tickets from last year and older.”

“NO! (exclaimed with a tone bordering on panic) don’t throw any away, they might change the law.”

For my next comment in this exchange I need to tell you that we have a storage unit which cost, I don’t want to say how much, every month where she keeps crap that her kids may want someday.  This shed is full to the brim and may contain about $250 worth of crap that her kids will never want, but say they might.  For the cost of this storage unit over the years I could purchase 10 brand new of whatever is in there.  I look at it as spending “X” dollars every month to keep a happy marriage.  

However, I am not above poking her about it from time to time.

“Maybe we could put the losing lottery tickets in the storage unit,”

“Just put them aside, I’ll fit the back when I get home.”

Then you’ll never guess what she called me.

21 comments:

  1. Hahahahaha. Okay. First of all, back off of the whole storage unit idea because that is my same thought for the one I have! There are things in there I know my kids want they just never go get them and I can't because the unit is in Michigan and I'm not. Okay. Now about those lottery tickets.. What the hell?? I'm pretty sure if you hit the lottery you won't be thinking about those losing tickets only the winning one. Maybe..

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  2. Yes, I save losing lottery tickets for just that purpose. You never know when the ex-mayor (my sister's husband) might ask for a few of them because he had some success at the casino. You only have to report gambling winnings to the extent of gambling losses, you know.

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  3. Old lottery tickets? I throw mine away the minute they don't win anything.
    I don't know if we can claim a tax rebate on them here in Aus.

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  4. I know what she called you! Started with a j and ended with a k (did I win the lottery?)

    I resolved several moves ago never to pay for storage. If I can't squeeze it in my house/garage, its got to go. I knew of a blogger who had stuff stored in storage from when his dad passed in the late 1990s. The stuff was still in storage and sadly the blogger passed away in 2014. I do wonder what happened to that stuff.

    betty

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  5. Saving old tickets? Paying for storage? Crikey!
    Bet I can guess what Mrs C called you though.

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  6. I'm with River - in the bin they go I'm pretty sure there is no benefit in keeping them. All they'd do is remind me how much cash I'd 'wasted':(

    Cathy

    Link


    Cathy @ Still Waters

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  7. I have never heard of that tax rule. Kind of surprising. Does it work for casino gambling?

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  8. The kids don't want that stuff. Trust me. You will never convince her, though.

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  9. My sister and brother in law both are hoarders. He figured he would want it some day;my sister, I don't know. When we moved he filled two dumpsters and stocked one auction. My sister filled an humungous storage locker. It's just a waste of time and space. Give it to Good Will before it's moldy. They will find it a home.

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  10. We all have our little quirks. Not me, of course. No....not me.



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  11. You two have the most interesting conversation. You really do.

    I do agree with you about the storage locker though. That needs to go. The kids can either pay for it or it goes.

    Have a fabulous day Joe. ☺

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  12. We're living lean, so we don't have any unnecessary catch-all drawers. Like others here have said, if our lottery tickets aren't winners, they're losers. Bye-bye. And when we began our downsizing adventure several years ago, we told the kids if they wanted something, come get it or forever hold their peace. But you're right, some things aren't worth a fight over.

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  13. You are in for trouble, and you know it.

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  14. "Jerk!" -- that's my guess. Points for getting it right? a shout out? oh, this wasn't a contest? Okay. Never mind.

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  15. Yup, "Jerk". She's become predictable.

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  16. Like Hermione, Granger my hand is in the air. I KNOW WHAT SHE CALLED YOU!

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  17. You do live a fun life and this time I'm on your side. How about taking the kids through the storage locker, let them pick out what they want--take it with them now and auction the rest. My brother in law paid $8,000 over the years to store a table his kids had drawn their names on. No one wanted it when he passed. Good luck on those lotto tickets:))

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  18. lol! We don't buy lottery tickets, but my poor husband would gladly exchange your roll of them for the mountains of egg cartons, bottle caps, and other "crafty scrap" that I "might need" some day for an art project with the grandkids! There are days I almost feel sorry for him when his bumbling about in the basement triggers an avalanche!

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  19. I will never understand spending money to store crap. And I will definitely never understand spending more on storage than the crap is worth. My parents recently moved, and I still get irritated thinking about some of the useless junk we hauled out of their very expensive storage shed in the backyard.

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