THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Wednesday, October 26, 2016
The Logic Train Does Not Stop At My House
The Logic Train Does Not
Stop At My House
Mrs. C complains
that I often make fun of her idiosyncrasies. She thinks she has no idiosyncrasies.I guess if you don’t call hiding food from
you husband, or not wanting to walk on the sidewalk, or dipping your spoon in
pudding instead of scooping it, idiosyncrasies, then she is correct.Just when I get used to one “unusual modus operandi”
I uncover another.
day my garage door remote was not working.I figured it needed a new battery, but I also thought we had another
remote that would have a good battery.I
looked in a small kitchen storage thingy that is stuffed with assorted papers
in little filing slots and then pulls open for extra stuff storage.
I was pretty
sure that this is where the second remote was.When I opened it up, a wad of about 220 old losing lottery tickets
spilled out. “WTF!” This was not
Mrs. C was
not home; she was working at a ballroom dance competition.Mrs. C does not want me snooping around in
this cabinet.I could not stack all
those tickets back in a way that would allow me to put them back and also close the
I did find
the other remote.
When Mrs. C
called later that day I confessed to her what I did.
“I can’t close that kitchen cabinet
thingy and also put back all your lottery tickets.”
“What were you doing in that cabinet
anyway, and don’t you lose those tickets?”
“I was looking for the other garage
remote, which I found, and what the heck are you saving those tickets for
“You’re saving them as a tax write
off in case you hit the big one aren’t you.”
“You realize that more than half
those tickets are older than a year and couldn’t be used as a write off don’t
“Maybe, just don’t throw them away.”
“As ridiculous as it is to save a
fist full of losing tickets so when you hit for $100,000 or more we would only have
to pay tax on $99,815, at least let me toss the tickets from last year and older.”
“NO!(exclaimed with a tone bordering on panic)don’t
throw any away, they might change the law.”
For my next
comment in this exchange I need to tell you that we have a storage unit which
cost, I don’t want to say how much, every month where she keeps crap that her kids may
want someday.This shed is full to the
brim and may contain about $250 worth of crap that her kids will never want,
but say they might.For the cost of this
storage unit over the years I could purchase 10 brand new of whatever is in
there.I look at it as spending “X”
dollars every month to keep a happy marriage. However, I am not above poking her about it from time to time.
“Maybe we could put the losing
lottery tickets in the storage unit,”
“Just put them aside, I’ll fit the
back when I get home.”