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Thursday, October 13, 2016

INCOMPATABLE

INCOMPATABLE
Mrs. C and I generally get along very well.  We don’t argue very much; we bicker a lot, but we don’t argue very much.  We both often know what is in the others head before they start a sentence.   I let her watch her girly shows, and she lets me watch my sports.  If there is a major girly/sports conflict, then I will retire to my basement cave and watch my event and she will watch her show from the bedroom…not a problem.  We enjoy each other’s company but we also know some separation time is a good thing.
We do have one major issue that does not seem to have a solution.  Mrs. C is always cold.  

I am more warm blooded.  She will come home at night from work and even on a warm night her hands are like ice.  She likes to warm those icy hands on me…often when I am napping.  This is not a good way to be jolted out of a nap.  

Mrs. C seems to think it is humorous.
In the winter or summer, I want the temperature set at 72 degrees.  She wants it set at 78 degrees.  We settle for 75 and we are both just a little uncomfortable.  In the winter she wants all the windows closed at night.  I enjoy a little cold night air.  We settle for allowing the window closest to me being opened just a crack.
Blankets are a problem.  Mrs. C wants to pile them on, I only need a thin cover.
“How are you so warm?”
“Because I am all mammal, you must be part reptile!”
“I have winter PJ’s and socks with a heavy blanket and I am still cold.”
“That’s because blankets and socks only keep you warm by trapping your body heat.  You have no body heat!  Blankets only trap your cool body temperature…it’s like a thermos.  We need an electric blanket that works at separate settings for each half of the bed.”
“That would create two weather fronts in bed, it could start a storm! (sorry, old Woody Allen joke) besides, electric blankets scare me. We could cuddle, so your warm body would heat up my reptile blood.”
“But you sleep facing right, I sleep facing left.”
“Then cuddle until I fall asleep.”
“But you wake up as soon as I roll over.”
“Tough, just shut up and cuddle, I’m cold!”
We are just temperature incompatible, and I am not a cuddle kind of guy.
“Why am I always the one to make the sacrifice?”
“Just warm me up! Jerk!”

20 comments:

  1. Hahaha. You should know better than to argue with Mrs. C. I feel your pain tho. I'm a human heater too. :) I also like the window open. All my kids are the same and they're all with people who are always cold. Go figure. :)

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  2. She can cool you off during a heat wave ...
    DH radiates heat while I am similar to an ice cube although he likes to cuddle and I don't, he's too blamed hot. I, too, love putting my cold appendages on him. Hee Hee Hee! He jumps so well!

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  3. Window open! In the winter! Are you crazy, man?

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  4. Funny stuff. MY WIFE and I are the exact opposite. She keeps the AC on even when it's 65 degrees outside, while I turn on the heat as soon as it dips below 68. We have separate bedrooms, by the way, which helps - and provides us with the privacy we both like. As for other things that take place in bedrooms, we know how to walk to the other room :-)

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  5. I feel for Mrs. Cranky because I am her. Last winter I had 2 extra blankets on my side of the bed and wrapped myself in an extra blanket and still was cold. Hubby was comfortable with just a blanket and a comforter. I used to like his cuddling to keep me warm but sometimes now it feels too stifling. We'll see what this winter does since we are in warmer temperature. I bet I still find myself cold. The up side in summer I'm comfortable at 80 degrees inside the house while he wants it cooler so we compromise at 77 degrees (and still I want to throw on a blanket).

    betty

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  6. Being cold seems to be a common female problem. I know so many women who are always cold with icy hands. They used to arrive at work and head straight for my checkout and ask to hold hands. Because I am warm all the time; even in winter, I have warm hands and feet. Summer is very uncomfortable for me. I heard recently on TV that having icy hands all the time might (MIGHT) indicate a thyroid problem.

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  7. Very tiny older women seem to always be cold. I am not large, but I am not always cold. Yet.

    Ceiling fans seem to send very tiny older women off to their closets to fetch sweaters. Thick sweaters.

    Maybe they should all seek Canadian climes.

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    1. (I'd like to add that I don't know whether Mrs. C is tiny or old. It's just a pattern that I decided, for some reason, to comment on at 1:04 am.

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  8. Twin beds is the answer, but then the cuddling would have to stop. In that event the old saying 'where there's a will there's a way' would be very appropriate.

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  9. Here the thermostat is never above 68. In the evening I usually get to sit by the fire -- he goes to bed when his nose gets cold! He hates to cuddle for longer than 10 seconds. It took me a long time to get used to cold English houses -- and this old Victorian with high ceilings can get pretty chilly. If I say I am cold my husband says I must be sick! I have yet to meet a couple with the same body thermostat!

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  10. He's always cold, I'm always hot...two separate bedrooms...problem solved.

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  11. I am always cold and insist on a sheet even when it's 90 degrees.

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  12. Since you are an avowed non-cuddler, seems separate beds or rooms might be an answer. Commuting can put the adventure back in romance. Of course then you wouldn't bicker and we wouldn't get to enjoy.

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  13. Only slightly confused seems to have the answer. I would put a heater in her bedroom though. That would help a great deal. You two crack me up.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  14. There is an actual, scientific reason for this.

    When a female gets cold, her body shunts all the blood to the core, to keep her organs, and the uterus in case she has a baby in there, nice and warm. This leaves her extremeties very cold, and so she feels cold all over.

    When men get cold, their bodies shunt the blood to the extremeties, so they feel much warmer.

    In my house, i sleep with extra blankets piled on me and a heating pad, and Sweetie has his own blanket, which he ignores in summer.

    It's no consolation for either side to know that the other really does feel the cold and heat differently.

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  15. Just don't do like my aunt and uncle once did: They put a king-size electric blanket on their bed, and each had their own controller. But somehow they crossed the controller wires under the bed so that the one on her nightstand controlled HIS side, and his controlled HER side. He got hot and turned it down, which made her cold so she turned it up. Back and forth it went until she was blue and he was sweating like it was mid-August. ;)

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  16. awww. some differences are just built in. :)

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  17. You didn't read the fine print of the marriage license did you? Keeping the girls warm is part of the deal. Sorry to break the news.

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  18. Be patient for a few more years...Mrs. Cranky might hit menopause and turn the thermostat WAY WAY down during hot flashes.

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  19. I live where you're at, man. Queenie is always cold, wanting it around 75-80, whilst I'm here looking for 60 or so. And those cold hands!!

    Even just this AM she was complaining 'cause I left the house in short sleeves. Apparently that's some sort of crime this time of year?

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