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Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Scissors

Scissors
My wife is not difficult to live with, but she does require some adjustments.  She can be a bit quirky. 
For instance; scissors.
We have a pair of scissors in every room of the house.  Apparently you never know when you might need scissors RIGHT AWAY!
In the kitchen we have two pairs of scissors.  One pair is only for cutting poultry, one pair is for paper and stuff.  When I needed scissors to cut suckers out of my tomato plants, I quickly found out that vegetation does not count as stuff.
“Don’t use those scissors for yard work!  We have a pair in the garage for yard work.”
I used the garage scissors for my tomatoes, and then put those scissors away in MY barbeque stuff kitchen drawer instead of putting them back in the garage.  I was going to use these scissors often and the garage is a long way from my tomato plants.
The other day Mrs. C asks, “Where are the garage scissors?”
“In my BBQ drawer, I use them all the time.”
“They belong in the garage; I need them there.”
So now the scissors I use almost every day for plants right outside our back door reside in the garage 20 yards away, through two doors and I have to first go outside to get to them.
The other day while searching frantically through every drawer in the house looking for my lost golf GPS thingy, I found a third pair of scissors in the kitchen.  These scissors were buried underneath assorted stuff.   I unburied them and thought great, now there are three scissors in the kitchen.  One for poultry, one for paper and stuff, and a third pair for cutting the suckers out of my tomato plants.
Maybe not.
Mrs. C just opened that drawer today.
“What are these scissors doing out in the open?”
“I found them the other day, I unburied them so I can use them on the tomatoes.”
“Not these scissors, they are good scissors, you’ll ruin them…that’s why I hid them!”
“Well what are they for then?  You already have two pairs of scissors in the kitchen and a pair in every other room in the house?”
“Never mind.  They are the good scissors and not for you to use.”
“So along with the “Good Towels” that we are not allowed to use and the “Sea Shell” soap the we are not allowed to use; we now have the “Good Scissors?”
“Yes! Don’t be a jerk.  Leave them alone.”
I’m going to buy my own pair of scissors and put them in the BBQ drawer, and no one else better use them! 
It is easier to adjust than to figure her out.

22 comments:

  1. Yes, sir. You have it right now. :-)

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  2. Maybe you need to buy your own set of scissors for what you need them for? Kind of like (I might have mentioned this before) hubby and me have disagreed for years about toothpaste. I squeeze in the middle, he squeezes at the bottom. We stopped faction in the marriage by us having separate tubes :)

    betty

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  3. I have scissors all over the place too. A multi purpose pair in the kitchen, sometimes used for cutting up cooked chicken, a pair in the lounge and bedroom, in case I find a loose thread on y clothing, I can snip it off right away and a pair in the bathroom, so if I hit a snarl when combing my hair, I can cut that right off. Now that I think about it, there's an old pair of scissors in the back porch by the gardening stuff, mostly I use that pair for opening bag of potting mix. It's handy having them everywhere.

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  4. Doesn't EVERYONE have a good pair of scissors ...?

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  5. Are you sure Mrs C and I aren't related!!!1

    Suggestion: copy the idea, buy your own and hide them, like we women do!

    Wandering off, laughing socks off........

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  6. Sounds like Mrs C has some kind of OCD to save scissors in a drawer like that. It's probably all your fault according to Mrs C. She NEVER does anything wrong. Who are we to argue?

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  7. As soon as I started reading, I wondered where she keeps the GOOD scissors. I also keep scissors in every room, but my real fear is not being able to find a writing implement at a second's notice. I have pens and pencils in every drawer and on surfaces everywhere. Sometimes I have to hunt for a scrap of paper, but never a pen.

    Your own pair of scissors seems like a good solution.

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  8. The problem here is that people take scissors and don't return them and then claim to know nothing about it, I have to hide my scissors now.

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  9. There's a system. You just don't know it.

    When my sister moved out, I found more scissors than any one person could ever use. I threw them all into one drawer.

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  10. This is me! Ha ha. There are different scissors for different things and we must have scissors everywhere.

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  11. Scissors are sharp and there seems to be a stockpile of them at your house. I wouldn't anger Mrs. C. since there are sharp weapons in every room.

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  12. Goodness, I feel like an orphan only having 3 pair. Food, indoor, outdoor. Think you have found the only solution by getting your own. Make it a really ugly pair and wouldn't hurt to scratch your initials on the blades.

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  13. My only scissors story relates to my niece. I tried to give her cooking lessons before she was married and purchased her some very expensive "kitchen scissors." Now, we'd be able to trim meat in a sanitary way. That never happened. She was using the scissors to groom her dog. Some people are just not intended to cook at home. Last I heard, she and her hubby eat out - a lot - probably spending the money they've saved on a dog groomer!

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  14. Heh, heh! Mrs. C was telling you to CUT IT OUT! Don't go messing with her scissors. I have the same problem here, and most likely have enough to put a pair in every room...if I could FIND them!

    Hick and Genius took so many pairs that I started asking for scissors for Christmas every year. Too bad they came AFTER I had to search for a pair to cut wrapping paper with.

    I can relate to J's comment above, because I caught Genius in the act of trimming burs out of sweet, sweet Juno's fur with my kitchen shears that my grandma gave me. THEN he walked them back into the kitchen and tried to put them right back in the drawer! The next time I caught him, he was trimming wire with them.

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  15. I feel bereft of scissors after reading your post. I think I have 2 pairs, but I only know where one is. However, I'm adamant that the one pair needs to be PUT BACK immediately after use, so I do usually know where it is. You definitely need a yard clippers for your tomato plants. Put it wherever you want and don't let anyone else use it.

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  16. I have lots of scissors as well and the best pair is hidden real well. The reason I have a lot of scissors is because people take the good scissors and cut paper and other stuff with them, then they aren't any good for cutting material. That is why the GOOD scissors are hidden. I just hope when I need them that I can remember where I hid them. :0) Thanks for the laughs.

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  17. She must be used to having her scissors grow legs and disappear, like i am. You have to hide at least one pair so when all the others have hidden themselves and "nobody" in the house touched any of them, you have your back ups that you always hide again as soon as you are done with them!

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  18. I have never been able to educate the hubs on which scissors to use for what purpose. I need to talk to your wife.

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  19. My ex-mother-in-law had one of those "good" scissors. They were so good, she called them "shears" which really is just another name for snob scissors.

    But never mind about scissors...what the heck is a golf GPS thingy? Do you get lost on golf courses?

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  20. Omgosh. I think Mrs. C and I are related! I too have scissors in every room and I have a GIANT tag on any scissors that are fabric scissors ONLY. The others are color coded and you must know the colors. Orange is for the kitchen paper stuff. Red for the kitchen meat stuff. Purple for paper. Blue/Black for fabric in case you overlook the GIANT tag on all of them. I totally get Mrs. C...

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