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Friday, September 30, 2016


A cranky opinion for
The following post is based on the hypothesis that men and women are not the same.  I realize this concept automatically makes me Misogynistic, xenophobic, and I may as well throw in racist.  You may want to delete this and head for a safe space.
If thinking that men and women are not the same is misogynistic, then I am a misogynist.  I don’t believe I am a racist, but the two seem to always go hand in hand.  I’m not really sure what xenophobic is but without even knowing, I am sort of afraid of anything that starts with an “X”.

Please don't beat me up too badly, here goes:

There is an often asserted statistic that women earn only 77 cents for every dollar a man earns.  Not sure how that happens.  Pretty much anyone, man or woman who works for minimum wage earns the same pay.  I believe government positions have pay grades that are difficult to gender discriminate, same job has the same pay by law.  I know from experience; large corporations do not discriminate in terms of same pay for the same grade. 
If there is discrimination (not already covered by three federal laws) in this country, it is discrimination in moving to higher grade positions.  I am sure this discrimination exists and it is one that is probably pretty hard to legislate against and prosecute where legislation may exist.
There are several reasons why this discrimination exists.  There is the perception that women cannot work long hours, that women will be more dedicated to their children than the job, that women will defer to the responsibilities of her spouse’s occupational demands.  There may still be some truth in these perceptions, certainly they were a genuine factor in previous generations.  Still, these perceptions are unfair and need to be mitigated.
There is, however one female trait (warning, massive generalization here) that is a factor in women not getting promotions to a higher grade than men. 
Women are less likely to take credit for what they do.  Men are more competition and confrontation-ally oriented than woman (Once again, massive generalization here).  Men in their competition to get a promotion will take credit for other’s ideas and work when possible.  Men will throw others under the bus for bad ideas and mistakes even if they were also responsible for those mistakes and bad ideas.  Men will exaggerate their accomplishments and brag about their skills.
Women are less likely to throw others under the bus.  Women are more team players and are more likely to include others in giving credit for accomplishments.  Women tend to downplay their abilities and even subconsciously go out of their way to bolster male co-worker’s egos at the expense of the perception of their own abilities, and women who do act as competitively as men as perceived as "Bitchy." 
Women like to please men (relax, remember massive generalization here) and they have learned that men prefer noncompetitive, helpless ladies and not strong tough women.  As a result, women (This is the last time I will say this… massive generalization here) play dumb or incompetent just to get male attention…men think dumb incompetent women are cute.  Women are experts at playing dumb or incompetent to outsmart men and get what they want.  They are experts at getting things done their way and making men think it was their idea to solve a problem.
These traits of women to please men and get their way without ruffling the feathers of their clueless mate work well in the traditional men women roles of earlier societies, today they are the anchors that keep women from breaking through the glass ceiling.
This “pleasing” trait is fading and with it more women will reach the higher pay grades…it is just a matter of time.  As women toughen up and become as mean and attention grabbing as men, the pay grade differential will shrink to zero.
Being called a bitch for being tough will probably never change.
The following was the opinion (and massive generalization) of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.

Thursday, September 29, 2016



OMG, it is Wednesday and I have no post for Friday.  My brain is on hold.  I have a Cranky Opinion post for Saturday that will probably piss a lot of people off.  I should be able to slap together a Stupid Headline Sunday post by…Sunday, and I can always find an old post to re-run on Monday.  By then Mrs. Cranky should do something to give me more material.

In the meantime, I have nothing for Friday.  I could do something on politics, but I am trying like heck to stay away from that.  I could post on my golf playing, but that is of interest to only a very select group…like maybe my brother and then nobody.

I think my mind is just on this weekend.  This weekend is our annual Fraternity reunion weekend.  This tradition began about 18(?) years ago.  It started as a one-day event and now is a Friday night, all day Saturday, and brunch on Sunday event.  The first few years we only talked about the good old days in school and the wives were kind of left out.  The last bunch of years we reminisce about previous reunions and the wives are all part of it.

It is always a great time. 

This year it will be up the road from me in N J at Captain Don’s (formally Squeak’s) estate.  There will be a fun dinner on Friday and most of us will be staying at a nearby hotel…we used to call it “shacking up” seems much more fun calling it that…anyway…

Saturday will be a lot of whatever, maybe golf, maybe shopping, maybe a trip to the city, maybe just hanging out.  Then it will be dinner (barbeque) at Captain Don’s followed by a local band playing music from our college days.  After we will “shack up” (Ooooh) again at the hotel, and finish the next day with brunch at Captain Don’s.

There will be pictures, laughs, memories and maybe a drink or two.  The next couple to host will be announced, (usually the couple who fails to take a step back fast enough) the fraternity flag will be passed and we will have another year’s reunion to look forward to.

Maybe I will take pictures for a post.  

As I said a bunch of posts ago, friends who are old are great, old friends, ones you have known for a long time are great, but old-old friends are the best!

Wednesday, September 28, 2016


We just took a new tube of toothpaste from the box tonight.  I realized that the old tube must have lasted almost a year.  

“Don’t you guys brush three times a day” you ask?

We brush.  

We brush regularly.  We just use a dab each time, not a blob like they show on the commercials.   A blob is over-kill, just what the manufacturers want. 
We dab.
That might be where our toothpaste habit similarity ends.

Mrs. C flattens the tube.  I prefer to roll.  I contend that rolling will make that tube last an extra week at least.  She claims that if done properly flattening is the most efficient, unused paste gets trapped in the roll.  

She also claims that rolling is messier, though I have no idea how that works.  Sometimes the logic train does not stop at our house.  I claim that rolling the tube takes up less room on the counter.  This simply results in a loud argument ending “HEAH!”
It is just one of the many differences we have had to learn to compromise on…and by compromise I mean I flatten, not roll.
At least she is not a squeeze from the middle person.  OMG I could not cotton to* a squeeze from the middle person, I would have to roll that middle squeeze right out of the tube and that would not end well.
For a marriage to work there must be compromise and sometimes that means doing it her way.  Fortunately, I am capable of being the bigger person, though I have to confess that the tube we just finished off…
I rolled it and got one more dab before throwing it away.
Do you dab or blob; flatten, roll, or (GASP) squeeze from the middle?
*That expression just came out of the woodwork.  

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Map Quest…Siri-ously?

Map Quest…Siri-ously?
Saturday we visited my son, DIL and two crankettes.  It was my son’s birthday the week before but we couldn’t make it so we went this week instead. 
It turned out both crankettes had a flag football game that my son was coaching.  I said that I would like to see them play.  That was before I learned the game was at 9:00 am.
To make it worse, the game was an additional 30 minutes south of my son’s house which is an hour from us.  Why 6 and 7-year-olds don’t play around the corner from home I don’t know.
In order to make it to the game we had to leave by 7:00 am.  That may not seem bad to many of you morning people; you night owl, retired people will understand. 
We did not know how to get to the field.  No problem; Mrs. C went to Map Quest and printed out directions.
I hate Map Quest directions.  They tell you stuff like this:
Take Rt. 287 south to exit 23   17 miles
Make a rt. Onto Riddly road.   75 feet.
Turn left on Orchard Drive.    25 feet.
Make a slight left onto THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE.  18 miles.
I wish they could program the directions to say:
Take exit 23 off rt. 287 and follow the signs for THE PENNSYLVANIA TURNPIKE.
Anyway, we followed Map Quest directions until we got into Pennsylvania from NJ.  The Map Quest directions were pissing me off so I decided to use SIRI on my phone for backup.  Mrs. C hates SIRI…I think she’s jealous.
Both Map Quest and SIRI were in sync until we reached Possum Puddle Pike.  MQ said go left, SIRI said go right.  We went left and ignored SIRI’s request to “Make a U-turn” and constant cry of “Recalculating.”
MQ took us onto a little traveled road, under a covered bridge (this made me nervous) and finally said to turn rt. On Pray For Your Life Hill Road.  The directions did mention that the road is sometimes closed.
Pray For Your Life Hill Road had a sign that said, “Warning, no trucks, dangerous steep hill…closed Dec. to April.”  We probably should have turned back and followed SIRI, but Mrs. C hates SIRI and we were running late for a 6/7-year-olds flag football game.
Pray For Your Life Hill Road quickly narrowed to one lane.  We hugged a cliff on our left, and dared not look down at the steep drop on our right.  The road was winding upwards and you could not see around the curves.  We were both scared sh*tless that a car might come the other way (we both missed the sign that said it was a one-way road…yes we were going the correct direction.)  At one point Mrs. C wanted to back out (there was no way to turn back) but that scared me more than what we were facing. 
Picture from Google.
The road is VERY narrow and the drop off on the right is steep and a long way down.
 I wouldn't even ride a bike on this road.
 After about a mile we finally came to the end where we had the option of turning left or right on Old Fenwick Lane.  MQ directions said to turn left on Bobble Brook Rd, SIRI suggested turning right on Fenwick.

There was no Bobble Brook Rd.

It was at this point that Mrs. C tossed the MQ directions and let SIRI take over.  SIRI got us to the game just before kickoff.  The trip took 2 hours.  If we had driven first to my son’s and then to the game it would have taken 1 ½ hours, all on safe, major roads.  We followed MQ because Mrs. C did not want to drive first north to eventually go south.
Next trip we probably will not look for the “shortest route.”
Anyway, our team won.  Seven-year-old Cole caught a pass for a TD, and ran back an interception for a TD.  Six-year-old Connor made a long run for a TD. 
Seventy-year-old Grandpa Joe aged a few years and almost pooped his pants.

Monday, September 26, 2016

Make Mine An Arnold Palmer

Make Mine An Arnold Palmer
What makes an athlete great?  Pure talent, winning, many years in the spotlight, records, all these and more.  What makes an athlete the greatest?  That is a tough one.
Mohammed Ali was the greatest in the boxing world because he said he was.  But it was more than that.  He may not have been the most dominant boxer of all time, you could make a case that he was, but he definitely made boxing more interesting than any boxer before or after his era.
Golf just lost its greatest of all time.  Arnold Palmer won a lot of tournaments, but others have won more.  He won many majors, but others have won more.  He turned millions of non-golf fans into golf fans…no one before or after has made a greater impact on the popularity of golf.
Jack Nicolaus was great and he had many fans, but he won so often and so easily, many fans wanted to see him fail.  Tiger played perhaps like no one before him, but he had his detractors, especially after his personal life made the front pages.  Not everyone rooted for Tiger.
Everyone wanted to see Arnold win.  He played on the edge.  He always went for the toughest shot, and the biggest drive.  His swing was not classic and pretty, it was rough but effective.  Arnold might fail but he never quit and he often snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.  He did it with style, but with a working class determination in a country club sport. 
Arnold hit the golf world as TV was beginning to showcase the game and people suddenly wanted to watch a game that prior had only snob appeal.  Arnie brought the game to the common folk.  Suddenly the public courses were packed and everyone was taking up the game.  New golf courses were built all over the country and everyone was part of Arnie’s Army.  He was the face of golf for decades, even after his prime playing days.
Search Google for bad things peoples have said about Arnold Palmer and you will find nothing.  He was a gentleman, a businessman, a role model, a legend.
We lost a great one at 87 yesterday.  Ice tea and lemonade might not be my favorite drink, but if you ask me who was the greatest most influential man in golf for the longest period of time, I say,
“Make mine an Arnold Palmer!”

Sunday, September 25, 2016

BUT…But…but it’s raining!

BUT…But…but it’s raining!

I love youth sports, and in today’s world kids need organized teams and leagues.  In the olden days, as kids, we did not need adults.  We all met at the school grounds with a bat and a ball, scratched out the bases, chose up sides, and played. Those days are gone, we need organized kids sports, and we need parents involved in sports.  
We don’t need OVER involvement.  I am guessing that if you go to u-tube and type in “Little League fathers acting like ass holes” there will be an assortment of videos to choose from. I am going to save Dad bashing for another day, today it is the Mom’s turn.


Your boys do not care if their uniform is clean or dirty.  It is OK to wash  it, nobody likes a smelly uniform, but do not obsess over it.  If Tommy’s mom judges you by how clean your boy’s uniform is you don’t really need to be friends with Tommy’s mom.  Do not use bleach.  Leave grass stains in.  From your sons perspective the kids with clean uniforms are the kids who do not get in to the game.  Grass stains are a badge. Your son wants to wear them with pride. 

Do not yell shit at your sons during the game.  He will be embarrassed enough by his Dad, don’t pile on by yelling,“Make a home run Bobby!”

Sports are played in different conditions.  If the weather makes conditions unsafe then play should be suspended.  However, do not expect to have all action stop at the first rain drop.

“How can they keep playing; It’s raining!”

“Shouldn’t they stop; It’s getting windy!”

“Isn’t it too cold to play?”

“It’s so hot, shouldn’t they stop and hydrate?”

"BUT...But...but it's raining!"

Just gut it out and let the kids play.  It’s fun playing in the rain and getting muddy; unless it is a hurricane, the wind is fine; your son doesn’t even feel the cold; if it’s hot, let them sweat it’s good for them and for Heaven sake never use the word HYDRATE on a ball field. 
Your son does not need a juice box and a Twinkie after the game.  Relax, he is fine.

Do not tell your son that winning isn’t everything.  Winning IS everything to a boy at least for up to 10 minutes after losing.

Sports teach a boy to work together with other kids, to get dirty, to suffer difficulties, to work towards a goal, that winning is better than losing and losing is part of life, and if you get them to the game on time with the proper equipment, with no pressure or expectations, sports can be fun.

Even in the rain. 

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Stupid Headlines 092515

Stupid Headlines 092515
What is it about Florida?
It is time again for
Stupid Headline Sunday
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
Alabama police make first arrest in string of clown-related threats – Suspects were found with a squirty flower, two seltzer bottles and a rubber chicken.

Liberal CLOWN wants the word “TERROR” BANNED Because it Hurts Muslim Feelings – He wants to substitute “Terror” with “bad stuff by not nice people.”

Cow farts can now be regulated in CaliforniaThere is a job I wouldn’t take for any money!

Disgraced Dem Anthony Weiner sorry after texts to 15-year-old revealed – Isn’t Subway looking for a new spokes-person?

Woman Sues Background Check Site After Husband Uses Site To Catch Her Cheating – Talk about blaming the messenger! 

Man arrested after hitting Sacramento mayor in face with pie – Does he have a big bow tie and a dog named White Fang?

World's fastest VW Beetle goes 205 MPH – And then stops instantly when it lands in the bottom of the canyon.
USC hires its first dog professor I don’t care what this woman looks like, that is sexist and I find it offensive to my sensibilities!  What? it is an actual dog? Never mind.

London's Muslim Mayor Tells New Yorkers that Terrorism is "Part and Parcel of Life in a Big City" – So we should just accept and get used to people leaving bombs in crowded areas and killing lots of people? Na Ah…F*ck You!! Mind your own city, we don’t roll over that way.

Wells Fargo CEO could walk with $200 million – Arrrrrrrgh!

Are aliens avoiding Earth? – In the meantime we need to figure out how to build a wall around Earth.

Orlando Police Mistook Krispy Kreme Doughnut Glaze for Meth – Well it is addicting!


Come back next week for more


Friday, September 23, 2016



August 4, 1961 born Kenya Honolulu, Hawaii

A cranky opinion for


Before I go on a rant about this President Obama Birther thing that should have been put to bed by now let me state unequivocally:

It is my opinion that “Natural born citizen” means one who is a citizen at birth, not just one who is born in this country.  Barack Obama wherever he was born, (and his birth certificate says it was Hawaii) was born to a citizen mother and by that alone he is a “Natural Born Citizen.”  After all, why would the child of an illegal immigrant who snuck over the border to give birth, and then was taken back to his parent’s country be more qualified to be President than someone born to a US citizen in another country and then brought back to the US?

End of argument. *

Now about the Birther issue, who is to blame for that argument?  His opponents in the 2008 primary election and then after the general election latched on to the suspicion that Obama was not born in the US and therefore is not eligible as a “Natural Born Citizen,” hogwash (see above) but still where did this come from and why was it not squashed right away?

Obama’s own biography claims he was born in Kenya.  Either he was born in Kenya as his biography claims or he failed to edit his own biography.  I self-published two crappy books and the first thing I did before publishing was to write a short biography.  I would think that Obama also wrote his own biography.  Who would write a book and have someone else write the biography or at least not edit it if it was written by someone else? 

The source of the Birther movement comes from Barack Obama who either wrote and edited his biography and for some reason wanted to show his birthplace as Kenya, or he did not write or even edit his own biography…even after his book was published.

That and the little publicized fact (in 2008 and before) that Barack Obama was known for most of his young life as Barry Soetoro, which is at least a little bit unusual.

When the first request to prove he was born in the US was raised by the media, and according to many was questioned by Hillary Clinton or her campaign staff, Obama produced a short form birth certificate.

This short form certificate is legal in Hawaii for most identification.  It looks pretty official, but truth be told it would not be very hard to fake it and given the Kenyan birth claim on his own biography it did not seem enough to put the question at rest.  I doubt this certificate would pass muster in New Jersey as proof of age for a Little League team never mind President of the United States.

I have a birth certificate that I need for a driver’s license and Passport that is the original with hand and foot prints on it for crispy sake.

When pressed for a long form complete original Obama did not produce one until April 2011.

Why did this take so long?

So in summary, the Birther issue is bogus in the first place because Obama is a “Natural Born Citizen” regardless of his country of birth by virtue of his mother’s citizenship.

It became an issue because Obama himself claimed he was born in Kenya and some people choose to interpret “Natural Born” as “born in this country”, not “a citizen at birth.”

The issue could have been put at rest immediately if the long form original certificate had been produced immediately instead of dragging it out and arguing that the form they did produce was proof enough.

Anyone who made a big deal out of the Birther issue was foolish, but the foolishness was raised by Barack himself and not decisively quashed as quickly as possible.

At this point, the issue is closed.  Barack Obama’s Presidency is almost over and the question of “Natural born Citizen” was bogus in the first place, but the blame for the question being raised and the question dragged on for so long (2008- 2011) and the blame for inevitable conspiracy theories lies with Barack Obama himself.

Regardless, at this point…What difference does it make?

The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky. 

A child born abroad to one U.S. citizen parent and one alien parent acquires U.S. citizenship at birth under Section 301(g) of the INA provided the U.S. citizen parent was physically present in the United States or one of its outlying possessions for the time period required by the law applicable at the time of the child's birth. (For birth on or after November 14, 1986, a period of five years physical presence, two after the age of fourteen, is required. For birth between December 24, 1952 and November 13, 1986, a period of ten years, five after the age of fourteen, is required for physical presence in the United States or one of its outlying possessions to transmit U.S. citizenship to the child.) The U.S. citizen parent must be the genetic or the gestational parent and the legal parent of the child under local law at the time and place of the child’s birth to transmit U.S. citizenship.

Thursday, September 22, 2016


This is not my college fraternity pal Craig "Stanley" Bluin...but could be his doppelganger.

This is Stanley...can't sing but is a really nice dude.
Got nothing to do with this post though.
Mrs. C got me to go to a concert on Tuesday.  I don’t like concerts.  Mrs. C loves concerts.  I have learned to make an occasional concession.  This concert was in NYC at the Beacon Theater.  The theater alone was worth the visit; it is unbelievably ornate.
Above the stage

The concert was with Steven Demetre Georgiou…do I hear crickets?  How about Yusuf Islam?  Some of you know; he was formally known as and is back again as, Cat Stevens.
Ceiling...would not want to be seated underneath this
I can’t say as I am Cat Steven's biggest fan, but I do like him a lot and wanted to see him perform live.  I probably only know five of his songs, but he has written many more.  He is an excellent guitar player, and I have learned to play the five songs I know on guitar.  I don’t play quite as well as Cat…my singing is even worse.

Exit stage left
Anyway, the concert started at 8:00.  Mrs. C wanted to take the train in and take it back after the show.  I hate the train from NYC late at night.  There are always sketchy people at that time of night, usually annoying drunk Met or Yankee fans.  Also I just dislike ending a nice day at a show with a two-hour commute home late at night.
Exit stage right
I suggested we get a hotel room.  We could get into the city early, check in, relax, have a nice dinner in town and then have plenty of time to get to the theater.  After the show a comfortable room would await us, and the trip home the next day would be nice and relaxed.

Sounds good right?

Without spending a total fortune Mrs. C got a room for half a fortune at a hotel 40 streets and an avenue or three from the theater.  No problem, we still would have plenty of time.

Except we booked the hotel before we knew we would start renovation on our guest bathroom.  We wanted to leave for the hotel by noon.  The contractors tied us up and we did not leave until 4:00.

A relaxed trip with plenty of time to check in, change clothes and have a nice dinner at a nice restaurant turned into a flat out race.

Local train to the city got in at 5:20.

Waiting for a taxi at the station, 15 minutes.

Taxi to hotel about ten blocks 25 minutes.

Check in and change, it was 6:15…no time for a nice relaxing dinner.

Subway to the theater was a real challenge.  Mrs. C was never a NYC commuter or subway expert, but man can she read a map and she downloaded a map for the subway.

We walked two blocks up to Park Avenue and took the E train uptown to 52nd Street, took the 3 train to 42nd Street, the 6 train to 72nd Street and walked to the theater on 74th Street.

It was now 7:15, show starts at 8:00.  We had enough time for a slice of pizza, which in NYC was easy to find, there were several choices within a block.

At least it was a great show. Cat Stevens still has that special voice and guitar style.
Still not Stanley, this is Cat Stevens on stage.
The way you can tell is Stanley can't play guitar for shit...
Cat is pretty good.
The next morning, we enjoyed breakfast at a nearby diner and took a cab to the train station.  We caught a train home without a long wait and I finally felt relaxed. 

Here is where people (the Cranky’s) can be funny. 

Tickets to the show cost…I don’t even want to say…they were damn expensive.  The round trip train cost $42.  The taxi to the hotel cost $20.  The hotel cost… I don’t even want to say…it was damn expensive.  The taxi back to the train was $10 (less traffic).  On the train home Mrs. C kept checking the time.

“Why are you checking the time, there is no longer any hurry.”

“Parking at the station is $7 for a 20 hour stay, after that it is $9 for a full day.  We need to get to the car by 11:57 or it will cost an extra $2."

The train got us to the station at 11:52.   We ran to the parking lot and got there at 11:56.  We saved $2.