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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

WHO’S SIDE ARE YOU ON

WHO’S SIDE ARE YOU ON
Nothing is easy at the Cranky household.  Even sleeping is complicated.

Mrs. C demands to sleep on the right side of the bed.  That works for me as the bedroom door is on the left side of the bed.  I have always been of the opinion that the man (or strongest gay partner) should sleep on the same side of the bed as the bedroom door.
When we stay at a hotel, sometimes the door is on the right and I demand to sleep on that side.
“No way, I sleep on the right side.”
“But the door is on the right, if someone breaks in I need to be the best position to defend you.”
“Oh please, I wake up at the drop of a hat, you would sleep through me being ravaged regardless of which side you sleep.”
She has a point, though the chivalrous section of my brain still feels the need to be between her and the door.
Recently Mrs. C has complained about the temperature in our bedroom. The air conditioner blows from her side of the bed and she complains about being cold while I complain about being too hot.
I suggested we change sides.
“No way, because in the winter the hot air blows from that side of the bed and I want the heat.  Plus, who would protect me if there was a break in.”
(Notice how women use selective reasoning?)
“Well in the winter we could switch sides.”  
“No, I am used to sleeping on this side, changing with the seasons would throw me all off kilter.”
That’s it, no arguing with that.  I guess things will just have to stay as they are.  Mrs. C will freeze in the summer but be warm in the winter, and regardless of the season I am the defender if we have an intruder…unless we stay at a hotel, then Mrs. C may have to fend for herself.

24 comments:

  1. Wonder what she would say about bunk beds? You could sleep on top and rig yourself a zipline straight to the bathroom. Except for those times when...ahem....never mind. ;)

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  2. I sleep on whatever side the dog hasn't chosen ...

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  3. There is no point in arguing with them once they make up their mind, Joe.

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  4. How do you define left and right? by standing at the foot of the bed, looking towards the pillows, making A the left side and B the right side? Or when you are both in bed Mrs C is on your right, making A the right side?
    I sleep on the A side, regardless of where the door is, well I used to. Now I have a single and sleep in the middle.

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  5. Twin beds are good! Or you could try locking the door to keep the unwanted out.

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  6. Thank god you didn't forget the gay community. And who gets the TVs remote control too.?

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  7. I prefer the exact middle myself. Maybe that is why I don't have a bed partner?

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  8. You can get a plastic piece that screws on over the vent to redirect the air. You could put that on in summer to direct the cold air to you, and remove it in winter so she can have the warm air on her.

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  9. marriage is beautiful institution in which students develop their either side of nature

    by the time love deepens and both sink
    each breath trough other's lung believe me

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  10. As a woman I like to sleep closest to the door which is on the rights side in this house...so now when we travel I tend to sleep in the right side. I am very light sleeper 80% of the time, those of us who have had children no longer get into heavy sleeping.

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  11. Funny how we get into habits we can't quit even though logically in some cases we should readjust. I like to sleep closer to the bathroom myself but I do sleep on the right side of the bed, but will acquiesce to let hubby do so in hotels to be closer to the door.

    betty

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  12. Sounds like a conundrum. You could try turning the bed 90 degrees.

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  13. I'm going to have to side with Mrs. C., I like the side I sleep on and that's the side I sleep on everywhere. I don't care where the door is and I don't care who's protecting who. Just saying.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  14. I'm a fresh air fanatic and like to sleep nearest the window, but I'm extremely left oriented and usually sleep on the left side, which somehow seems to always be farthest from the bathroom.

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  15. I guess it depends on whos driving. (thats what he says)
    Lisa

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  16. We each have our own preferred side. I get the other side ......

    For about a year I tricked her into switching but then we switched back and every opportunity since has failed. She has her side and I get the leftovers .....

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  17. I always sleep on side closest to the bathroom!

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  18. Goodness would you really sleep through her being ravaged? Sorry but that gave me a giggle. For me when sharing a bed, it is the right side but since I have doors on both sides of my bed (one interior and one exterior) I'm cooked either way by a random ravager.

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  19. I'm with Bijoux. I have to be near the faculties. I'm like a dog. I COULD go EVERYWHERE I go :)
    R

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  20. Gotta have the right side. Which puts Hick closest to the bathroom, and the bedroom door, with me by the air vent and the french doors to the porch. In a hotel, I still take the right side. Any intruder who broke in on US would run screaming out before I could be ravaged. Hick in his tighty whities is an effective Ravager Repellent.

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  21. Right side for me, TV remote for him. No matter where we sleep.

    This might possibly change if we ever sleep south of the equator, but so far we haven't done that.

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  22. Omgosh this made me laugh. :) I agree. I always thought the guy should sleep by the door for protection too. Being happily single, the only "side" I have is the one my pup isn't sleeping on. On the off chance she actually sleeps in her own bed then I'm a human starfish all over mine! :D

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