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Saturday, August 27, 2016

STUPID HEADLINES 082816

STUPID HEADLINES 082816
What is a good mix with diarrhea?
It is time again for
Stupid Headline Sunday
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
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Simone Biles held up the Olympics closing ceremony because everyone wanted a selfie with her – Does anyone else find it ironic that everyone is flipping over Simone.

Fight over goodnight kiss lands 59-year-old man in jail – Jail? Seems like a kiss would just be petty theft.  BTW Pixel…Florida.

California city is paying people not to commit crimes – Then do they also get paid for not getting caught?

Secrets of ultra-stealth submarines revealed in massive leak – Ultra stealth ain’t going to help much if the damn thing leaks!
Rush Limbaugh warns that federally paid 'lesbian farmers' could invade your town – Rush fears lesbian farmers will invade conservative states and change election dynamics.  I don’t know which is more ridiculous, offering money for lesbians to become farmers, or Rush worrying about changing election dynamics.  I’m going to call it a draw.

Cop says Red Cross told him not to pray or read Bible with flood victims – The organization just might want to think about changing their name and symbol if they are afraid of offending non-Christians.

Gender-neutral bathroom signs not inclusive enough, UNC students claim – Times have changed, when I went to college we complained about really silly stuff, like not wanting to be sent to a country we didn’t know to shoot at people we didn’t know for reasons that were not very clear.

Runner who blew whistle on Russian doping: If something happens to me, it's no accident – This is silly, why would the Clinton campaign care about a Russian runner?

Woman releases tub of live crickets and worms on New York subway then pees on herself sending screaming commuters into a frenzy
“New York, New York, it’s a toddling town. 
The Bronx is up the Battery’s down,
women release crickets and worms then pee on the ground,
New York, New York, it’s a toddling town.”

Olympic champ Katie Ledecky wait-listed at D.C. swim club for 15 years – She should just swim in the pool anyway…who’s gonna catch her?

College Kids Wave Sex Toys, Juggle Dildos to Protest Guns – They demand stick-ups now be referred to as stick-ins.

One in five British travelers admit to cheating on a partner while on vacation – Surprisingly the one cheater is the dentist who does not recommend Dentine to his patients that chew gum.

 

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Come back next week for more
STUPID HEADLINES

12 comments:

  1. "California city is paying people not to commit crimes"

    That's a really good idea! I've been thinking of applying to the US Dept of Agriculture for a payment for NOT growing certain crops already in surplus, never mind that I live on the 2nd floor of an apartment. *shhhh*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I too live in a 2nd floor apartment and I don't grow a damn thing. Where's my check!

      Delete
    2. Take a number Timothy. *wink*

      Delete
  2. I saw the words "held up" on that one up top, read it to say Simone got held up, and thought, "Oh no! Here we go again!"

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bwahahahahahahaha. I linked you to Silly Sunday as always. Your comments on the headlines are funnier than the stories.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  4. lesbian farmer invasion. good golly...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Pool and diarrhea - not a good mix - EW! Just the thought!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I always love your stupid headlines; what does that say about me?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Fun, and I'm still trying to think of something that Mixes with diarrhea.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Great mix of their lines and yours, as usual. And yes, the one about the police officer being asked to leave the Red Cross shelter because he had a Bible and was offering to pray with people is true. They also accepted food donations at the shelters and then threw them away because the food didn't come from their own authorized vendors. They've gone around the bend.

    ReplyDelete
  9. An exceptionally good collection of sophomoric comments this week.

    Are the lesbian farmers being federally-paid to not grow crops, or to not have sex with men?

    ReplyDelete

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