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Tuesday, March 29, 2016

WHY HUSBANDS CAN’T WIN ARGUMENTS


WHY HUSBANDS CAN’T WIN ARGUMENTS



This post is intended for men only.  Women are forbidden from reading this post.  Move on, nothing to see here.

Men, stop even trying to win an argument with your wife.  Just give in and move on.  Right or wrong you cannot win an argument.  Why?  Because there is no right or wrong when you argue with a woman.  Women feel, men think and you cannot argue a woman’s feelings.

Your woman will say,

“Don’t tell me how I feel!” 

(You’ve heard that before haven’t you.)  

I watch a lot of TV;  Reality TV, Judge Shows, and Dr. Phil.  I hear again and again, the woman will say,

“I just feel…”

“I just feel that you don’t care.”

“I just feel that you’d rather play golf.”

“I just feel that you don’t want to make more money.”

The man will always say,

“I just think.”

“I just think you expect too much.”

“I just think you don’t try hard enough.”

And the GRANDDADDY of “Thinks”

“I don’t think you should feel that way.”

(Oh crap dude you just said it.)

“Don’t tell me how to feel, and it is you that makes me feel that way!”

So here it is guys if you want to be happy, STOP THINKING!

You can’t argue feelings, but what you think can be wrong.  

This is so important it needs repeating: 

You can’t argue feelings, but what you think can be wrong.  

Got that?  Feelings just are; you can’t argue them.  What you think can be wrong.

“I just think you don’t care anymore.”

“Well I do care, so you are wrong!”

You lose.

“I just feel that you don’t care anymore.”

“Well I don't think you should feel that way because I do still care.”

(Oh crap dude)

“Don’t tell me how to feel, and it is you that makes me feel that way!”

You lose.

Do you get it guys?  You cannot win.  Feeling trumps thinking every time.

Take it from someone working on his third marriage.  Skip the thinking, and go straight to the apology.

Learn to say,

“I am so sorry you feel that way, what can I do to change the way you feel, because I don’t want you to feel that way…I feel bad that you feel that way.”

It is not easy, guys because we think too much.  Work on it.  Stand in front on the mirror and practice,

“I am so sorry you feel that way, what can I do to change the way you feel, because I don’t want you to feel that way…I feel bad that you feel that way.”

It is not about winning an argument, it is about survival.

Can you feel what I’m telling you?

Think about it.

22 comments:

  1. I heard from a professional that, "You are not responsible for how other people feel."
    Unfortunately, by the time I he said it, my ex had stopped attending the sessions.

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  2. What you think is only wrong if you say it out loud.

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  3. I would love to comment but can't because I'm not allowed to read your piece.

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  4. Marriage counselors and other folks in psychology started the 'I feel' statement dialogue so that people (mostly women) would stop sounding like naggers and blamers with, 'You do this or that.'

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  5. You knew I was going to read this post. I think I'm doing it wrong because I say, "I think". Bugger.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

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  6. The post says "for Men Only". You know that was just a woman invite didn't you? However, Im not going to argue anything you mentioned here.
    Lisa

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  7. You really did think a lot about that, didn't you?

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  8. You're dancin with the devil dude but I'm making notes in my words to live by.

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  9. I'll just add that I almost feel sorry for my husband when I'm in the mood to pick a fight just for the sport of it. He's way out of his league in the arena of the mental gymnastics it would take to win one with me! Ha!

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  10. As you asked, I didn't read this post. Let me just ask though, what if you're a woman who thinks rather than feels? :)

    I think your post is right on. lol

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  11. Oh Cranky,

    You will win the argument because men are always logical and (mostly) correct. And - since no women are reading this post - men CANNOT read women's minds! Imagine if we could? Imagine the freedom? Imagine the life? Sadly, I fear the reality is that if we could read their mind's we would be even MORE confused.

    :o)

    Cheers

    PM

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  12. Cranky you make a good point Early classes in Feelings 101 might be helpful for men if taught really early, like second grade. "I feel" you ought to write the first text book.

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  13. You can win every argument if you are simply always right.

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  14. So very true. And the worst part is after convincing us guys that a woman's feelings are more important tan our thinking, they use their emotions to hold us hostage.

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  15. I didn't read your post.

    I feel gypped.

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  16. My name is Hal, and I think you are finally catching on.

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  17. I have learned that the way to avoid arguments is just to agree with whatever she says.

    Notice: I did not say that I avoid arguments, just that I KNOW how to avoid them.

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  18. Okay, I'm sitting here reading this post with a sheet covering my head so that you won't know if I'm a man or a woman. So let me get this straight: you think that a woman shouldn't read this post? Well, I feel that's unfair. (damn, I just gave myself away!)

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  19. I've given up on the "I feel." I'm on the "This is how it is." :)
    My husband is a smart man, but I command the common sense.

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    Replies
    1. ps. that photo use to be me, but I have new tactics that work better. :)

      Delete
  20. I think I am unsure how I feel about this post...

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