NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, February 14, 2016

STUPID HEADLINES 021416


STUPID HEADLINES 021416

It is time again for
Perhaps it does have it's drawbacks.
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

______________________________

Man in clown costume arrested for DUI – Turns out his erratic driving was because the oversize clown shoes kept hitting the wrong pedal.

Goat arrested in India for grazing in judge's garden – What did they do, send it to the pen?

Florida Man Accused Of Tossing Gator Into Wendy's Drive-Thru Window – “You want fries with that ferocious friggin reptile?”

Music publisher doesn't own 'Happy Birthday,' has to pay back $14 million – I think he owes me something for at least eleven birthdays that didn’t turn out so hot.

Storm destroys bridge for mice in Wales, closes busy road – This explains why so many Welsh mice were late to work.

Wife faces 6 years in prison for not cleaning or cooking for her husband – This is ridiculous, I would think 4 years would be fair, but 6 is excessive.

Female tiger dies in a mating attempt gone wrong – Apparently tigers do not believe no means no.

Female Shark Eats Male Shark in Aquarium – I’m guessing it was a tiger shark.

A Fully-Functional Replica of the Titanic Will Set Sail in 2018 – I’d sign up, but I have a sinking feeling about this.


Lucky sloth travels the world in a private jet – I am not a big fan of Michael Moore, but he is talented and not just lucky…what …it’s not?…never mind.


The Pope, Trump, and the Mexican border – Remember Johnny Carson’s Carnak? “What is a name for hope, a dope, and a slippery slope.”

Texas recommends court ban on bite mark evidence – Marv Albert is moving to Texas. (giyp)

___________________________

Come back next week for more:


STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

9 comments:

  1. Bwahahahahahahahaha. I love this headlines, but I love your comments even more.

    Have a terrific Silly Sunday. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish I'd thought of doing this headline thang, but you do a good job with them...and it's a never ending source of good material.
    R

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree...your comments are often better than the headlines!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You do crack me up with your comments. The two tiger ones in particular.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Another bumper crop of your sophomoric comments! You had me at clown shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Still laughing over a hope, a dope and a slippery slope.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Been a time or two I've wanted something big and angry with teeth to fling through a drive-thru window. Thanks for the hilarity, Cranky.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You're a funny man, Cranky!!

    ReplyDelete