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Sunday, January 24, 2016

STUPID HEADLINES 012416


STUPID HEADLINES 012416

It is time again for

This is why you should never bring a knife to a threesome
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

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Urine odor may help researchers detect Alzheimer's disease – Turns out that if you piss yourself a lot, you may have a problem.


University president allegedly says struggling freshmen are bunnies that should be drowned – Damn, I thought staying after school was tough.
'Midship ... mates?' Navy moves to sink gender-specific titles – Well isn’t that an important step which is sure to put fear in our enemies and cost several hundred million dollars editing naval books and regulations.  I know I feel safer.

Early man's actions caused global warming, study says – Where was Al Gore when we really needed him 7000 years ago?

Average movie ticket up to a record high of $8.70 – I wonder what it costs to see a really good movie!

US teacher to hold class in airplane above Greenland – That is one class you don’t want to get thrown out of.

Mysterious medical condition causes objects to stick to this man's head Gluecoatius Velcroitis.

Vatican offers a place to stay to homeless woman who gave birth near St. Peter's – Just a little place in a pile of hay in the corner of a stable, not much, but with all the frankincense and myrrh she needs.
Clinton emails so secret some lawmakers can't read them – They are so secret that nobody knows what they are or who sent them, apparently code name “Adriana” is willing to do stuff and needs a F***buddy.

Kansas senator blocks testimony from female witnesses with ‘low-cut necklines and miniskirts’ – No point in testifying if none of the men are listening.


Man clings to frozen car roof in his underwear to stop thief – Or he coulda just called 911.
Germans battle refugee sex assaults with signs – If this works they’re going to plaster the country with posters depicting a decapitation in a circle with a line through it, the international sign for no head chopping in this area.

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Come back next week for more:



STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

6 comments:

  1. I'm guessing no one is guessing which one is fake anymore? Now we just laugh at the idiocy. I like that idea. I also linked you to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

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    Replies
    1. I think Joe gave up trying to write fake headlines because by the time they were posted they were no longer fake.

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  2. Clinton emails so secret some lawmakers can't read them – They are so secret that nobody knows what they are or who sent them, apparently code name “Adriana” is willing to do stuff and needs a F***buddy.

    My granddaughter's name is Adriana--do you want me to ask her?

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  3. Yeah, someone is always trying to be the COOL teacher! Might as well save the school the requisition money on that charter plane--the kids will never know they're above Greenland. They'll all have their noses in their phones, texting their buddy sitting next to them.

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  4. The funny follow up comments are the best part.

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  5. my fave was your retort to 'average movie'

    ReplyDelete