STUPID HEADLINES 122015
|COME TO TEXAS - "We won't kill you if you didn't do it."|
It is time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Drum kit Ringo Starr used in Beatles hits sells for $2.2M – Money well spent if it keeps RIngo off it.
Canada's Liberal government promises to legalize marijuana – Dude, pass the chips eh!
New study reveals eating burnt food may increase your chances of getting cancer – I knew it! My first two wives were trying to kill me.
Does the Elf on a shelf contribute to the surveillance state? I thought this story was going to be a goof, but no, it is an actual concern and there was a real study. What a great country that this is what we have to worry about.
Irish county hopes free lollipops will stop drunken brawls, accidents – I think this will only increase sucker punches! (That’s for you Hilary.)
FAA announces drone registration rules as report highlights soaring dangers – Yes!! Thank you http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2014/11/drone-as-in-moan_22.html
Bill Cosby sues 7 of his accusers – Apparently he has no case against the other 756 accusers.
Exceptional deep-sea find: ship that once held ancient condiment – If they are that old, I wouldn’t trust them.
What? Oh you mean like ketchup? Never mind.
Woman is wounded in stabbing at a Florida nudist resort – I only hope it wasn’t a concealed weapon. (Think about it.)
Naked Man Allegedly Tries To Carjack A FedEx Truck, But That's Not The Funny Part – The dude didn’t know how to drive the truck! He was arrested because he fit the description NAKED!!
Muslim judge sworn in on Koran in New York – I cannot figure out why this is news. What else would you use to swear in a Muslim?
Tiny kitten rescued from conveyor belt at California recycling plant – One down, eight to go.
Ivy leaguers sign 'petition' to repeal First Amendment – If this petition gets its way, all the signers can be arrested for taking part in the new illegal act of petitioning.
Putin praises Trump as an 'outstanding, talented' man – Another valuable endorsement. This should balance off criticism from Michael Moore.
Saudi millionaire who said he 'fell' on teen and 'accidentally penetrated' her cleared of rape – Ahh, the old accidental penetration defense, works every time…if you’re a millionaire in Saudi Arabia!
Isis -- the pharma company -- changes its name – Company is changing its name to “Famous Hitler’s Drugs and Shit.”
Come back next week for more:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!