Stupid Headlines 120615
It is time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
________________________People need to stop scaring cats with cucumbers, say animal behaviorists – But it is ok to torture them with those laser things?
College Students Say Remembering 9/11 Is Offensive to Muslims – Words fail me…oh wait I have some, “Fuck you, you little snot nosed shits…The people responsible for 9-11 did it in the name of ISLAM…that offend me…DICKHEADS!!”We now return you to our regularly scheduled more civil Stupid Headlines
What you need to know about sex in space – Oh Hell, I’ll just say it, “I hear it is out of this world!” Sorry.Leo DiCaprio not Raped by Bear – So it was consensual?
Ted Cruz: Democrats making up threat of 'condom police' – “You are under arrest, take off the condom, put it on the floor and put your hands over your head where we can see them…on second thought put them down where we can’t see that.”Tenant in New York catches her super stealing, sniffing her panties – The victim claimed, “It wouldn’t be that big a deal, but I was wearing them at the time.”
Carly Simon reveals who inspired 'You're So Vain' – Warren Beatty? All this time I was certain it was me!
New anti-aging drug could extend human life span to 120 years – Oh great, that is going to completely screw up my retirement plan!
Board denies parole to San Francisco witch killer – Which killer? Witch killer? Which witch killer? Abbot and Costello would have a field day with this.
Phuc Dat Bich 'honored' after offensive-looking name goes viral – No comment needed.
New Hampshire cop buys items for mom who stole ingredients to make child’s birthday cake – Not a stupid headline, just a nice story for a change.Woman needs surgery after wearing a hair tie on her wrist – I don’t know why it took surgery, why didn’t they just shave her wrist.
Come back next week for more:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!