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Sunday, December 6, 2015

Stupid Headlines 120615


Stupid Headlines 120615

It is time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  

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People need to stop scaring cats with cucumbers, say animal behaviorists – But it is ok to torture them with those laser things?

College Students Say Remembering 9/11 Is Offensive to Muslims – Words fail me…oh wait I have some, “Fuck you, you little snot nosed shits…The people responsible for 9-11 did it in the name of ISLAM…that offend me…DICKHEADS!!”
We now return you to our regularly scheduled more civil Stupid Headlines

What you need to know about sex in space – Oh Hell, I’ll just say it, “I hear it is out of this world!”  Sorry.
Leo DiCaprio not Raped by BearSo it was consensual?

Ted Cruz: Democrats making up threat of 'condom police' – “You are under arrest, take off the condom, put it on the floor and put your hands over your head where we can see them…on second thought put them down where we can’t see that.”
Tenant in New York catches her super stealing, sniffing her panties – The victim claimed, “It wouldn’t be that big a deal, but I was wearing them at the time.”

Carly Simon reveals who inspired 'You're So Vain' – Warren Beatty? All this time I was certain it was me!

New anti-aging drug could extend human life span to 120 years – Oh great, that is going to completely screw up my retirement plan!

Board denies parole to San Francisco witch killer – Which killer? Witch killer?  Which witch killer? Abbot and Costello would have a field day with this.

Phuc Dat Bich 'honored' after offensive-looking name goes viral – No comment needed.

New Hampshire cop buys items for mom who stole ingredients to make child’s birthday cake – Not a stupid headline, just a nice story for a change.
Woman needs surgery after wearing a hair tie on her wrist – I don’t know why it took surgery, why didn’t they just shave her wrist.

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 Come back next week for more:


 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

12 comments:

  1. "Phuc Dat Bich 'honored' after offensive-looking name goes viral "

    True story: years ago I sold a house to a Vietnamese couple and her brother. The bro's name was Phuc Hu. I had a hard time making eye contact with Mr. Hu. *snicker*

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    1. That has got to be a common name! I stood behind one in line at the library a few years back as he registered for a card. The poor desk lady didn't hide her chagrin very well!

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  2. the 120 yr lifespan gave me the exact same thought...

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  3. College Students Say Remembering 9/11 Is Offensive to Muslims – Words fail me…oh wait I have some, “Fuck you, you little snot nosed shits…The people responsible for 9-11 did it in the name of ISLAM…that offend me…DICKHEADS!!” You're being far too kind.

    Have a fabulous day Joe. I linked you to Silly Sunday. ☺

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  4. I'm going to agree with lowandslow... because I laughed some more when I read his "true story."

    I've seen some of these stories on the news.

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  5. I like the story about the cop buying ingredients for that kid's cake. It makes me feel good at a time when it's a struggle to do so.

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  6. People need to stop scaring cats with cucumbers, say animal behaviorists-

    This story it pitting Vegans versus PETA. Which group of idiots will prevail in this Moronathon?

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  7. Wait. Couldn't a LOT of actors make headlines by stating they were not raped by a bear? That DiCaprio fellow's publicist is a genius!

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  8. Sex in space? I should put that on my bucket list...

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  9. I don't understand why cucumbers are so scary to cats. Maybe the Cop could buy cucumbers to help homeless people scare stray cats too

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  10. I bet there are LOTS of people who haven't been raped by bears (myself, for one example); why is is so noteworthy that Leo DiCaprio, in particular, wasn't raped by a bear? I'm imagining him sitting on Colbert, or Conan, saying, "I wasn't raped by a bear, you know. . ."

    And you know what? College pukes telling me that remembering 9-11 is offensive, is offensive. Calling them 'dickheads' is being unjust to dicks. . .

    ReplyDelete

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