FOOTBALL COACH SPEAK
“We are going to play ‘Smash Mouth Football.’” - These guys are faster and more athletic than we are so we will try and beat them by playing dirty.
“We just need to execute better.” - We are being totally outplayed and I have no idea how to make any adjustments to beat them.
“Turnovers are killing us.” - Our ball carriers cannot hold on to the ball and our quarterback has happy feet and is making bad throws.
“Our quarterback has happy feet.” The quarterback is afraid of being hit.
“We just have to improve our tackling, too many missed tackles out there.” – Their running backs are too fast and are faking us out of our jockstraps.
“Special teams are going to determine the winner.” - No one can move the damn ball, the team with the best punter and place kicker will win.
“Our guys just don’t want it badly enough.” – Those guys are bigger, faster and better coached than we are.
“Penalties are killing us.” – I should have done a better job of coaching.
“Our front four needs to do a better job of rushing the passer.” – Our defensive line sucks.
“We need to do a better job of containing the run.” - That big friggin tight end is manhandling our defensive end.
“We just have to play our game and not panic.” – We are in deep doo doo.
“We have to establish the run.” – We can’t move the ball passing it, we better do something.
“We have to do better in the red zone.” - We can’t score when we get close to the goal line.
“They put their pants on the same as we do, one leg at a time.” – They are going to kick our ass, have you seen the size of those guys?
“We just have to buckle our chinstraps and go get them!” – Nobody has a clue what this means.
Enjoy the games everybody!