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Friday, October 9, 2015

TV in THE BACKGROUND


TV in THE BACKGROUND

In our house the TV is almost always on.  I know…go ahead and judge.  I also eat gluten, egg yolks and voted Republican the last sixteen elections. (Except for town councilwoman in 2004.) Much of the time the TV is just background noise while Mrs. C and I are both on our laptops.

Mrs. C is pretty good about allowing me to watch sports, even though, like to many women, sports is an annoying background noise.  Hell my last wife actually got angry anytime she heard sports on TV.

“What the hell are you listening to?”

“Oh, just the Superbowl, I’ll turn the volume down.”

“Honestly I don’t know how you watch that crap.  Isn’t 60 Minutes on?”

OK, Mrs. Cranky is not that bad.  

Saturday night Mrs. C was a bit under the weather.  Being the good husband I am I handed the controller to her to choose the Saturday night background noise.  She chose a celebrity lie detector test show starring Tori Spelling.

This was a show where Tori Spelling, who is a kind of funky looking, fake blonde, breast augmented, one time TV star of a show produced by her billionaire daddy, answers difficult questions while on a lie detector.  Except we don’t see her hooked up to a machine operated by a professional lie detector dude, there is just a voice that after a drum roll calls out either “True” or “False.”

Clearly, every question and every “Lie Detector” declaration had been cleared by Tori. 

About half way through this sham show I was getting a bit antsy.

“Are you even listening to this crap.”

“Yes, I want to find out if Tori really has had over 15 plastic surgeries.”

“You know that she has preapproved that question so the preapproved answer of “No” will be preapproved and called “True” don’t you?”

“You are always so skeptical!”

“So you don’t want to watch Notre Dame play Clemson?”

“You gave up the controller, now let me enjoy my background noise.”

“Ok, ok, but don’t complain to me when I grow a vagina!”

“Quiet, they’re asking Tori if she hated Shannon Doherty.”

“Great, I’ve always wanted to know the answer to that question…that and who put the Ram in the Ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong!*

“Jerk!”
*GIYP

17 comments:

  1. I like sports games as background noise myself. I even understand the majority of them; not sure I understand Tori Spelling though.

    betty

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  2. Ha ha, I'm one of those annoying people who never has the TV on at all - I do all my watching on catch up. The problem I have is that I'll be happily catching up on The Great British Bake Off or something while SD is checking out Ebay and he constantly interrupts because he gets excited about wheels and stuff and wants to show me them (yes, I DID say wheels ...)

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  3. If I had my way the TV would never be switched on. The news is all I watch on TV and certain programmes on TV Catchup about three times a week. Hubby though can't seem to live without TV but when he's seen enough programmes he switches off.... thank goodness.

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  4. TV is almost always on here, but it's usually MY WIFE's doing. The only things I ever watch are sports and DVDs of old sitcoms and the Three Stooges. If she isn't around, I maybe turn on the tube for 7 or 8 hours, total, in a week. Meanwhile, I don't believe they've ever made a show, involving a domestic murder investigation, that she hasn't liked. Maybe I should pay more attention to those; she might be gathering handy tips.

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  5. At first, when both my girls were in college, I had the TV on all the time I was home, just for some noise in the house. Then I would forget to turn it on, and it's been that way ever since.

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  6. My Mrs. C. always has the TV on. Every space needs to be filled with sound. I often like it quiet when I can be alone with my thoughts, such as they are.

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  7. It's your house Cranky and you can do whatever you want in your house without our judgement. You'll have to clear it with Mrs. C, but that's a whole other can of worms.

    I don't care if hubby watches sports. He's the one that watches it the most. I forget to turn the thing on.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  8. If you handed me the remote, i would probably turn it off and turn on the radio. Yes, i am weird.

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  9. My husband likes to watch good-looking women cooking stuff I've never been any good at. I sneer at them and dive back into my book, but really I think, boy does that look yummy!

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  10. I don't even own a tv. I have subscriptions to Netflix, Hulu, Amazon and Vudu. I watch what I want to watch when I want to watch it, on my computer screen which happens to be fairly large but even then, mostly it's just something to fall asleep to. I'm not a Tori fan either but since I always side with Mrs. C, she's right on this one, and every future post that involves Cranky vs. Mrs. C. Hahahaha. I just thought you should know where my loyalty lies. :D Lol..

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  11. The guy who remodeled our bathroom told me ours was the first house he had ever done work on where the TV was not on all day.

    But I'm married to someone just like you.

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  12. I have tinnitus so the TV is on all day to counteract the constant ringing. Pretty sure however that Tori would have driven me to take a walk. Since Mrs C tolerates your sports, you owed her on this one, You forgot to tell us if Tori really hated Shannon.

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  13. that sort of crapola is just irritating. i prefer quiet. and hardly turn my tv on unless i actually watch a show.

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  14. I Googled GIYP and got "Girls in Yoga Pants".

    ?????????????????????????????

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  15. I don't mind the TV as background noise; my husband is the one who watches it (while on his laptop, LOL). When we cut the cable cord about five month ago, he made it his challenge to find as much stuff to watch as possible...just to spite the damn cable company. We get German television news, the British version of CNN, an alternative weather channel...you name it. I got left behind on this highway to streaming television - for the life of me, I can't remember which remote I need to use to turn on the antenna, Amazon Prime, or that Roku thingie.

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  16. Heh, heh. I remember the days when we all watched TV and WE LIKED IT!

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