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Sunday, November 1, 2015

Stupid Headlines 110115


Stupid Headlines 110115

It is time again for
NRA lobby has way more influence than the Wooden shoe lobby!

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.  As in previous weeks, there is no fake headline contest!

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New York man builds own 'country' in Utah, has passports and border patrol – Ralph Zaq, the President and only resident of Zaqistan says he is sick of his countries high taxes, but doesn’t know who to complain to.

Woman blows up house she was trying to fix – And they say men won’t ask for directions!

Glamour Magazine Names Caitlyn Jenner Woman of the Year – Must not be many women worthy this year…of course Caitlyn is a good choice, except for that vehicular homicide thing.  Oh yeah, and the penis.

Man’s unborn twin 'fathered' his son – Honestly, there is no fake headline this week.

MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry says term 'hard worker' demeans slaves' experience – It is a given these day that if your lips are moving, you are insulting, demeaning or offending someone.

At nearly 1000 lbs., world's heaviest man to undergo weight-loss surgery in Mexico – They will be performing a Mariachi-Bandamectomy.

Florida man placed in a coma after e-cigarette explosion – I think that was an Ay-ay-ay-cigarette not an e-cigarette. (Why Pixel, why?)

EMT says he was suspended without pay for trying to save choking girl – The Mid-east is explodin, heads are a rollin, An EMT fined for savin, a girl that was chockin;  Ah, you don't believe, we're on the eve of destruction.

Champion teen runner disqualified after helping rival in medical distress – Taxes are risen, economy’s a bumma, A champ is DQ’d, for saving another runna;  Ah, you don't believe, we're on the eve of destruction.

 Thrillseekers strip naked for roller coaster record – They be flipping and flopping on the loop-de-loop.


Salem witch takes warlock to court – My money is on the warlock; he is bigger and faster and will be able to drive to the hoop.  What, a lawsuit? Nevermind.

Fury among Muslims after backpackers strip naked on beach –Rape victims guilty, Cartoonists murdered, naked on a beach, tourists need to be tortured;  Ah, you don't believe, we're on the eve of destruction.

Federal website's jack o'lantern warning cites climate change – There is no fake headline this week.

10 year old girl born in China seeks change in US Constitution so she can run for president – I think we should stick with 35, 10 seems too young to run for President…unless you are talking about the last debate.

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Come back next week for more:




 STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!


Where there is no fake headline contest
 
 


13 comments:

  1. "EMT says he was suspended without pay for trying to save choking girl"

    I'm guessing it was his boss's wife. :)

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  2. We are indeed on the eve of destruction. Loved your comments better than the headlines.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

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  3. Love the last one about the 10 year old girl!!

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  4. We live in a strange and wonderful place.

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  5. At nearly 1000 lbs., world's heaviest man to undergo weight-loss surgery in Mexico – They will be performing a Mariachi-Bandamectomy.

    Funny and brilliant!

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  6. Library bans wooden shoes??? Clogs don't kill people, people kill people!!! I'm certain the right to bear errr... wear clogs is in the Dutch Constitution. Why can't the rest of the world get up to speed on this issue?

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  7. Your singing voice is pretty good in type. I think we might have to save this one for your greatest hits compilation.

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  8. You've proved once again that no fake headlines are necessary.
    You can't top stupid.

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  9. I truly believe that without Florida, you'd struggle to find enough stupid headlines every week!

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  10. "Oh yeah, and the penis. . ."

    Well, yeah; that and six trillion Y Chromosomes. . .

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  11. Getting a little tired of typing this every week, but omg - you are HILARIOUS!

    ReplyDelete

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