THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
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Wednesday, September 2, 2015
I’m Going To Kill You!
I’m Going To Kill You!
We had some
people over to the house this weekend.We don’t entertain often, but if we didn’t have people over occasionally
the place would never get straightened up.It is not as if we never clean, we (read I) vacuum from time to time and
do a weekly bathroom clean, mop and shine, but stuff does get piled up on kitchen
counters and chairs a bit.
I keep up
with the dishes, but I am not allowed to clean the Tupperware, the steak
knives, or any dish that for some reason I am not allowed to put in the dishwasher.
Why not put the Tupperware, steak knives and
other stuff in the dishwasher?
know, but that is not an argument I am going to win.I try and stay out of arguments that I know I
So we had
guests coming over and everything was straightened up so people could find a
place to sit, and there was room on the counter for food the guests might
bring. Relatives were involved, Italian
relatives, so you could guarantee guests would bring extra food.Apparently in an Italian family, it is not a
meal if everyone doesn’t go home with enough food to last another two days.
thing not cleared away, was the Tupperware, steak knives and assorted dishes
that only Mrs. Cranky is allowed to clean.It was getting down to the wire for guest arrival, Mrs. Cranky was
puttering around upstairs, and we were having steak for dinner.I made an executive decision and washed and
dried the steak knives.
gathered paper towels, Windex and sweepers to clean the guest bathroom.I scrubbed, polished and cleaned everything
and was on my knees scrubbing around and in the toilet when Mrs. Cranky
“I’m going to kill you.”
“You cleaned the steak knives!You never clean them enough, and you put them
away.Now I have to clean ALL the steak knives.Why did you do that?”
“You have got to be kidding me!I’m on my knees scrubbing the toilet and you’re
going to kill me because I washed the steak knives?They have been waiting to be cleaned for a
week.I didn’t know you were going to
get to them and we will need them for dinner.I made an executive decision to clean them myself, and I cleaned the
hell out of them, soap, rinse, soap and scrub, rinse, soap, scrub and rinse again
because I know you are a nut about getting them clean.”
“I was going to get to them.”
“Now, I’m going to clean the
Tupperware and other dishes now.”
“Great, well you don’t have to do the
steak knives, they’re clean.Is it ok if
I get back to scrubbing the toilet or are you still planning to kill me?”
“I’ll let you live this time, but you
are still a jerk…and I’m going to have to clean ALL the steak knives.” And yet I still love her.