NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, August 2, 2015

STUPID HEADLINES 0802145


STUPID HEADLINES 0802145
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.

_______________________________
WYOMING MAN FOUND WITH 30 EYEBALLS IN HIS ANAL CAVITY – He was sent to I See You.

San Francisco combats the stench of urine with pee-repellant paint – Or they could encourage the use of toilets.

Feds gave low-income housing to millionaires There goes the neighborhood.

Too pale to fly? Airline stops redhead from boarding due to white ‘sickly’ skin – I’m guessing they weren’t flying to the Caucasians.

Minnesota city fights solar system approval by state – This is government getting carried away, the Solar System is pretty much a given, not subject to state approval.

Giant inflatable duck taken from roof of Roseburg auto center – FRAN! Can you verify where you were on the night of July 26? http://fishducky.blogspot.com/

Washington, D.C. could sink 6 inches over next century – And you probably didn’t think Washington could get any lower.

Teens sold iPhones that were Play-Doh bricks – The “Phones” were not the only things that were not smart.

The king still reigns at ag expo cat show – What the Hell is an ag expo cat show?

Nutty professor: Rutgers teacher who said US worse than ISIS has history of bizarre statements – This is the same professor who fought against allowing Condoleezza Rice to speak. The fact she can even make such a statement proves she is wrong.

Lottery Shows Winning Number Before It Gets Drawn – Officials claim it was just a coincidence, kind of like winning the goof-up lottery.

23 Pound lobster is 95 years old – Proof that eating nothing but seafood is good for you.

11 comments:

  1. Some of these I read about, but thirty eyeballs in someone's anal cavity? I know from experience you can't get more than twenty-six eyeballs in your anal cavity.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm going with Stephen's expertise plus it just can't be possible.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha
    I had a good laugh over your comment on the DC sinking lower. But all true. Ha

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think the redhead story is fake. What about albinos?

    ReplyDelete
  5. None of the above. As far as the inflatable duck goes (& it apparently went)--it wasn't me, I didn't do it & I'll never do it again!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. "WYOMING MAN FOUND WITH 30 EYEBALLS IN HIS ANAL CAVITY" I'll bet he had a really shitty outlook on...well...everything!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm going with the eyeballs. Everybody knows you're supposed to put a hamster there, not eyeballs.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Are any of these fake? I don't see directions to choose a fake. I can't operate without reading directions! Where do you get 30 eyeballs? I don't have a clue.

    However...that eyeball asshole must have been really rich or really important to have so many people's heads up his ass. And that 95-year-old lobster? Come on! Like he knew where his birth certificate was!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thirty eyeballs? that's got to be the one.

    ReplyDelete
  10. None of the above. I think these are all true.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks to this contest, I've become quite comfortable with accepting insane behavior as a normal part of humanity. I won't be one bit surprised if they are all true, but I'll say the lobster is a fake.

    ReplyDelete