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Monday, August 10, 2015

“SAY YEAH; WHY NOT” TO THE TUX - a cranky re-run

“SAY YEAH; WHY NOT” TO THE TUX

This re-run is from August 2012

Mrs. Cranky loves a TV show…"Say Yes to the Dress."  This show brings brides-to-be and their generally large entourage to a fancy bridal shop to buy their wedding dress.

The host is Randy, a diminutive salesman with somewhat feminine mannerisms.  Randy is the consummate wedding dress salesman.  He has impeccable taste, treats the bride like a princess, and is a part time psychologist.

“Welcome, so you’re my beautiful bride, do you have any idea what kind of dress you want?”

The entourage shouts out:

“Mermaid!”


“Ball dress!”


“Bling…wow factor!”


“Lots of rouging…and a crumb-catcher!”


“Fluff!”


“Stuff!”


“Show the girls!”  (boobs)


“blah blah blah!”

Randy has to ask, “Do you have a price point?”

“About $6000.”

Randy goes into action pulling dresses. 

The bride and her posse fight scratch and cry over every dress.  She tries on ten to twenty dresses and her helpers have something negative to say about each and every one. Finally, Randy pulls out a dress with just the right amount of bling, and wow factor and everyone oohs, aahs and cries over a dress that is $4000 above the bride’s price range. 

Randy, with hands in prayer position asks, “So, are you saying YES to the DRESS?”  The bride responds, “I’m saying YES TO THE DRESS!” Clap clap clap and the show ends.

I watch this show with Mrs. Cranky because she likes it and…well…I might be a little gay.  Still I want to see a male version…

“SAY YEAH; WHY NOT! TO THE TUX”

The groom-to-be arrives at Randy’s shop with his best man, his brother, his future father-in-law and his dad to pick out and rent a tux.

“So, welcome to my tux shop.  My, what a handsome groom. What kind of tux were you thinking of?”

“I was thinking black, no tails; something that would go with my black shoes.”

“Do you have a price point?”

“Yeah, about $150.”

“Hmmm, I have this one in your size, what do you think?”

“It’s good.”

Randy, with hands in prayer position asks, “So…are you saying Yeah; Why not to the Tux?”

“Ahh…Yeah; Why not?  Wrap it up.  Come on guys; let’s go to the titty bar.”

A giddy Randy does his flat-handed no-cup clap clap clap, and the show ends.

NEXT…Stay tuned as David Tutera plans the perfect bachelor party on:

“David Tutera fucks you up before the Wedding!”

14 comments:

  1. Hahahaha
    Very good giggles. I give you the flat-handed, no-cup clap clap clap.

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  2. You sized this up perfectly. Yes you did. You could have sent someone else for the tux though and let the guys get right to the titty bar. Just saying.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  3. I watch Say Yes to the Dress all the time & for the life of me, I can't figure out why I like it!!

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  4. I don't know how anyone can stand that show! I'm convinced they are getting a free dress to be on the show. Who can afford those prices??

    My daughter chose the second dress she tried on. We were in and out of there.

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  5. SO glad we don't get that show here - I just KNOW I'd be addicted to it ...

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  6. I think it would be cool if someone shouted out "DOWN PAYMENT ON A HOUSE " and skip the big show all together. How is that for a cynical old bat? Bet I may have a Dad or two in my corner.

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  7. Applause is heard throughout the shop!

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  8. Haven't seen this particular show, but did watch a few Bridezilla ones. Glad son and his fiance are planning a very simple wedding :)

    betty

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  9. Renting the tux is one of the few things in a wedding where the guy makes out like a bandit. Of course if his bride is selfish enough to want a destination wedding, then he still gets reamed financially.

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  10. You nailed this one with all the skill of that construction-worker Property Brother on a 4-week renovation.

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  11. That's why i'm glad i took two friends and tried on a few dresses that were discontinued and priced to move. The third one was just right, end of search.

    A show like this would just make me want to smack someone!

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  12. Oh. my. god. I knew it, deep down inside, I knew it. I'm a man.

    When my husband and I got married, I went into a clothing store and started thumbing through a rack of clothes. The sales person came up to me and asked if he could help me. I casually said, "No thanks. I'm just looking for a dress. I'm going to a wedding." Tried on one dress, and $89 later walked out of the store. True story!

    My first wedding was even easier. I wore maternity pants and a blouse. Heh.

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  13. I'm with Arkansas Patti, the price of wedding dresses and the wedding is way out of hand.
    My own wedding was a home made affair and cost around $200 altogether. Including my dress, made by the two mums and hemmed by me.

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  14. I bet Mrs. Cranky liked "What Not To Wear" also. I did.

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