GIVE HER A STEERING WHEEL
Some of my posts may give the impression that Mrs. C can be a difficult person. That is far from the truth. At least in terms of how she deals with other people.
Mrs. Cranky does not like to tell other people “No.” She often does things or goes places she does not want to do or go because she has trouble saying “No.” I tell her it is easy, simply put your tongue against the roof of your mouth, make your lips in an “O” and say it. Na…O…no. It is easy. She doesn’t get it though.
Recently I made the observation that when Mrs. C is driving, she is a different person. Apparently everyone else on the road is an idiot. She hollers at other drivers all the time.
“Move the frig over you asshole!”
“Dude, do you have a clue what the hell you are doing.”
“Get off my butt you jerkoff!”
I can hardly believe this sweet lady I know as my wife can be so abusive and tough in the car. It then dawned on me, when she needs to be tough, when she needs to put her foot down and just say no; no to a phone survey, no to dinner with someone she hasn’t seen in six years and never liked, no to a salesman, no to her kids, no to anything she does not want to do or no to going anywhere she does not want to go…give her a steering wheel. She is comfortable telling people no or even telling people off when she has a steering wheel in her hands.
Of course it is hard to carry a steering wheel around, and people do look at you funny. Instead, when she is on the phone and I know she wants to say “No,” when she is talking with someone and I know she does not want to get hung up in a long conversation, I hold my hands like I was driving a car and give her a look.
“No” I pantomime.
So far it doesn’t work. She just shoots me a glance and lip synchs back “Shut the fuck up…jerk.”
With me she doesn’t need to be behind the wheel.