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Thursday, February 19, 2015

A SIMPLE QUESTION


A SIMPLE QUESTION
Mrs. Cranky has two running complaints about me.  One, she says I don’t pay attention to TV shows, and then ask her questions about what has happened in a show.  Two, she claims I constantly forget stuff.
Tuesday morning Mrs. C and I were watching “The Bachelor” on-demand from Monday night.  Monday night, we watched the finale of “Celebrity Apprentice” instead of “The Bachelor.”  During lulls in “Celebrity Apprentice,” Mrs. C flipped over to the “The Bachelor.”
While we were watching on -demand in the morning I was somewhat confused about what part of the show was new, and what had we seen last night while she was flipping.
“This part looks familiar; did we see it last night?”
“Achoo!”
“Are you all right, do you have a cold?”
“No, I’m ok…Achoo!”
“Did we see this part last night?”
“Sniff…blow.”
“Did we see this part last night?”
“What?”
“I don’t mean to bother you, I was just wondering if we saw this last night, it seems familiar, but it is not as if I can’t remember anything, it’s just you were flipping a lot last night.”
“Achoo!”
“It’s a simple question.”
“OH for crap sake, stop grilling me, I’m having a sneezing fit, can you just hold on to your incessant questions for one minute? If you paid attention you wouldn’t have to bother me all the time.  Holy Hannah, am I going to have to put you in a home?  You are such a jerk!”
I was shocked by this vicious reply to my simple question.
“I’m sorry Darling, I didn’t realize.  Are you OK now, my question really is not that important.”
OH Please…Wait just a minute, Mrs. Cranky here, this is what really happened.
Ok, we were watching last night’s “The Bachelor” on-demand. Every minute Joe keeps asking me questions:
“Who is the blonde?”
“I thought the one with the accent was sent home last week.”
“What did she say?  Why are they whispering?”
“How many times is Chris going to say “I’m not going to lie’?”
“Where are they now?”
I patiently answered every single question, and then I got a sudden sneezing fit.  When my head finally cleared this is what I heard:
“Did we see this part last night?  Why is that question so damn hard to answer?  If you weren’t flipping the channels last night I wouldn’t be confused.  Why can’t you answer a simple question?
“I’m sorry dear, I was sneezing and could not hear your question.  What is it again that you want to know?”
“Oh never mind, I’m sorry I bothered you, it’s not as if I can’t remember anything!  Forget it, I don’t like this show anyway, all the women look and sound alike…who friggin cares!”
“I’m sorry honey-bunch, I’ll try and not flip so much, and I will try and listen more carefully to your questions."
And that is what really happened!
That is not how I remember it.  Who are you going to believe, me or Mrs. Cranky?  

16 comments:

  1. Okay, for all you cranky followers, for future reference, I NEVER CALL HIM DEAR! and definitely NOT HONEY BUNCH! although he hints that I wrote my side of the story, I DID NOT! but cranky is old and thinks that his way of writing is much funnier than mine. so I don't fight him on it. I just get him back here ... I don't think anyone who had just sneezed 4 time in a row and couldn't breathe, would turn around and say oh, yes dear ... I pulled an exorsist, spun my head a few times and yelled, could you at least wait till I can breathe before I answer your 6 stupid questions? thank you, have a nice day!

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  2. Joe...If I were you I think I would back away slowly, avoid eye contact, and mutter something about flowers, diamonds, and dinner out.

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  3. Sorry, but I won't pick sides, although I can be easily bribed. They say that it's men who control the remote, but like your house, it isn't true where I live. My remote is usually in the hands of my wife, and she clicks and flips all the time. I seldom know what we're watching.

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  4. I'll pick sides...Mrs. C is the side I pick. You tend to embellish too much Cranky. Besides, we women have to stick together.

    Have a fabulous day you two. ☺

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  5. i'm guessing the reality was somewhere in the middle...

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  6. I think I can go with Mrs. C's comment version though I must say yours was really amusing.

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  7. I dunno. But you and I were separated at birth. I'm famous for plopping down and asking annoying questions about whatever is on. I also can't remember anything.

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  8. Mrs. C, in the comments for $1,000, Alex.

    Mrs C... you need your own blog. Nay, WE need you to have your own blog.. :)

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  9. The only thing worse than watching “The Bachelor” is watching it on-demand in the morning.

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  10. When it comes to "The Bachelor", I cannot remember any thing.LOL

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  11. Of course I take Mrs. Cranky's side! I couldn't believer her more unless she wrote it all out by hand, like her grocery lists.

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  12. Mrs. C knows how to navigate through the day without a purse. She is my hero. I'm on her side.

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  13. If you think I'm going to get into that, you've got another think coming. (That's an old expression I wrote down without even thinking about it. Does it make any sense at all?)

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