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Friday, January 2, 2015

PUSHING THE ENVELOPE


PUSHING THE ENVELOPE
How important is the way a card is placed in an envelope?  To me it is not important at all.  I never give it a moment’s thought.  To women it is apparently very important.  Well maybe not all women, but in the small survey of women I have married I find it is very important.
I have never loaded a card correctly into an envelope.
This has been pointed out to me on numerous occasions by everyone in my survey.  I have been instructed in the correct method often.  I still fail; perhaps it is because I do not care.  Yes, that would be it, I do not care one whit.
There are only four possible ways to put a card in an envelope.   Mrs. Cranky tells me there are eight ways of which seven are completely incorrect.  No matter how she tries to explain, I can only figure out four ways of which only one is apparently correct.
As there are only four ways to put a card in an envelope and as I do not care one whit how I put a card in an envelope you would think I get it right at least 25% of the time, you would think wrong.  I never ever do it correctly.
 I  used to always load the card pretty side facing the address side of the envelope.  Not because I cared, but it just seemed to be the way to do it.  I didn’t care, I didn’t think anyone could possibly care, but subconsciously it seemed to be they way a card should be put into an envelope.
Always wrong unless sent to a right handed open-from-the-front person
Still wrong unless sent to a left handed front-opener

It has taken several years of badgering by Mrs. Cranky to get me to change my ways.  I have learned that the card should be placed pretty side away from the address so when the card is opened the recipient will pull it out with the pretty side up.  Of course I pointed out to Mrs. Envelope- police, that some people open letters with the address side facing up.
“No one opens an envelope up like that it doesn’t make any sense”

“Well, I think I open the envelope up like you say, but then I turn it around to pull the card out.  My way I will see the pretty side first.  Your way I will see the Hallmark price code first.”
“No one opens the envelope and then turn it around to pull out the card.”
“They could, some do.  Should I ask people how they open their letters before I load their card?”
“You’re a jerk!”
Well I started loading birthday, anniversary, holiday and all greeting cards the Mrs. Cranky way…pretty side away from the address.
Still not good enough.  It turns out there are two ways to place the card in the envelope when it is pretty side down.  Fold up, or fold down, and the correct Mrs. Cranky way is fold down.  That way when you pull the card out it will come out with the pretty side facing and it would be right side up not upside down.  If you load it fold up the card will be pulled out upside down.
Fold up Still wrong unless sent to a lefty
“True, unless the recipient is left-handed, then when he pulls the card out it will be upside down if loaded fold down.  I’m left-handed, maybe that’s why I load cards fold up.  There is no wrong way to load a card, because it all depends on how the recipient tears the envelope and pulls out the card.  Everyone does not do it your way, and if they do, how hard is it to turn a card around?”


Fold down. Apparently this is the correct way.  I still don't care.

“Your way is wrong and it is stupid and that is why you are a jerk!”
Apparently it is not the thought that counts.



22 comments:

  1. Just tell Mrs.C. to load her own damned cards and let that be the end of it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It shouldn't make any difference at all, as long as the recipient gets the card.
    But....there's always a but, everyone I know, including me and several left-handed family members, loads cards the Mrs Cranky way.

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  3. I can't say I've ever given this a thought but, just like River, I always do as Mrs Cranky says is right, and so does the Old Bat - who is left-handed!

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  4. well, i do load them like your wife does. :)

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  5. I'm confused. I'm getting a card. I do it the correct way and I didn't even know there was a correct way.

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  6. I load like Mrs. C but was unaware of it at the time nor was it planned. Gee, I accidentally got it right.

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  7. If you ask any secretary there is a right and a wrong way to load any letter, card or whatever else you're mailing. They know every rule and your wife is correct. You already knew that right? I thought so.

    Have a fabulous day Cranky. ☺

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  8. I'm just excited when I finally get the card in the envelope.

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  9. What I wanna know is...
    Do you lick the envelope from left to right or the other direction?
    I mean, what's the rule?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mrs. Cranky says, "Left to the middle and right to the middle."

      Delete
    2. Oh, good!
      I get it right ...when I remember to lick.

      Delete
  10. The folded side should always be down so the check inside will come out with the card. Otherwise the check might fall into the bottom of the envelope and get thrown into the trash. *oh, the horror*. :)

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    Replies
    1. Now that is a reason i can use to remember!

      Delete
  11. I must concur that Mrs. C is absolutely correct. I load the card that way, even for my left-handed Genius. What a chaotic world this would be if everybody loaded those cards all willy-nilly on a whim!

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  12. As an artist I've designed a few cards and I took into consideration how the card might be removed from its envelope. I must say I never expected anyone would open them from the address side. You're as unique as you are cranky.

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  13. Say what??? Next thing you'll be telling us there is a correct way to put on shoes, like left show on left foot and right shoe on right foot... *Sighs*

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  14. Mrs. Cranky is correct, as every. Left handed people just need to figure it out.

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  15. Too many rules, most of 'em pointless. Not worth the effort if all you've got are critics ......

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  16. Mrs C is correct - again!
    Another reaaon not to have the pretty side facing the address is so the recipient can't see the design (MASSIVE spoiler) through the envelope.

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  17. I share Mrs. Cranky's method but I can't say I've ever given any thought as to why. I can only imagine your toilet paper roll discussions.

    ReplyDelete

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