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Sunday, December 21, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 122114


STUPID HEADLINES 122114

It is time again for
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night,
but apparently the line is drawn at dog shit.
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo. 'None of the above' may be the correct answer.

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Buildings evacuated in Dutch town after crane to be used in marriage proposal falls over – Whatever happened to getting on one knee?

Jackpot: 101-year-old wins $50,000 Arizona Lottery scratch-off prize – She can’t decide whether to take a lump sum, or take smaller increments over twenty years.

New study reveals why you shouldn't drink coffee from a white mug – I’ve thought and thought and the only comment that comes to mind is “Get the fuck out!!”

Saudi Man Divorces Wife Minutes After He Sees Her Face – "Then I saw her face, now I’m a be leave her!”

Free speech protection doesn’t extend to condomless porn, court rules – No protection for un-protection or free speech says no to “Willy Nilly.”

Man unable to use arms faces gun possession charge – Let him possess his arms, he can’t use them anyway.


US, Cuba seek to normalize relations – Republicans are upset? Screw that, I want the cigars!


FCC says Redskins name not offensive – The football team was ruled to be neither offensive…nor defensive.


Rare Richard Nixon Pez Dispenser sells for $220,000 – The buyer thought it was a Pres Dispenser.


FBI says North Korea 'responsible' for Sony hack, US weighs response – I suppose setting up an interview is out of the question.


Dog shoots man: Pet owner recovering – I know it is a controversial topic, but can we at least agree that dogs should not be allowed to own guns?


Obama takes a whiff of a Cuban cigar at White House- Was it from smoke that the lee wind she blew in?

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Last week’s fake headline was:

Heterosexual men have healthier prostrates* – So a straight really does beat a flush. 

*Should be prostates…I’m an idiot!


And the winners are:


Prostrates? ...really?
Wait a minute, let’s go to the instant replay

Anyhow, I was gonna say it's about manure application, then realized you can spread BS anytime.
So I'm going with none of the above.

The original call on the field has been overruled!  We have our first ever recalled WHOOP-TEE-DOO!
I am unable to give a mention to everyone’s favorite Uncle Skip @ http://lionskip.blogspot.com/

None of the above again. Joe!! BTW, men have PROSTATE glands, not PROSTRATES.

OOPS!  I’m sorry fishducky your streak is over!  I wouldn’t rub it in except you had to mention my anatomy failure.

Do not visit fishducky and rub it in @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/ there is too much laughter in this world anyway.

The only winner, with a late submission just under the wire, is:

I'm going with heterosexual men have healthier prostrates. That just doesn't make any sense to me.

She is starting a new streak, visit Sandee for daily jokes @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/

Drop by our winner, and come back next week for more




STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!! 

15 comments:

  1. gotta go for coffee in a white cup. at least it'll show the stains you're getting on your teeth.

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  2. I'll swing by later with my pick. I know a few of these to be true.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

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  3. Here's to even more stupid headlines in 2015. Or maybe we don't want those? They're certainly entertaining.

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  4. Pez dispenser of Nixon ? I don't think so.

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  5. I am gonna swing by after Sandee as swung by LMAO :-) j/k

    I am going for...Rare Richard Nixon Pez Dispenser

    Happy Christmas to you :-)

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  6. Nixon's Pez dispenser gets my vote.
    BTW, hereinafter I shall refrain from commenting on misspellings if it's gonna disqualify me ...like hell I will ;-)

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  7. I'm picking the 101-year-old Lottery Winner. Everybody knows a woman of that era would NOT be wasting her money on lottery tickets, but saving it for her future.

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  8. Hey Joe, I'm going with the Nixon Pez dispenser this week, just can't see one going for that price but yet stranger things have happened.

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  9. I'm going for Obama's Cuban cigar. They aren't legal yet, are they?

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  10. So maybe Pez can make a Cuban cigar dispenser? Think they could get Bill and Monica to endorse it? *note to self: buy Pez stock*

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  11. It's hard to believe Prez would partake of a Cuban cigar at the White house. Not yet, anyway.

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  12. I'm going with 'Rare Richard Nixon Pez Dispenser sells for $220,000'.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

    ReplyDelete

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