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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

CLING-ONS


CLING-ONS

My wife has a friend who has lots of what Mrs. C calls “Cling-ons.”  Cling-ons are people who have no friends and latch on to you if you are even the least bit nice to them.

Mrs. C had a few friends like this, but they have slipped by the wayside since she met her cranky old man. 

I am Teflon to Cling-ons.

Sometimes when we visit with her friend we meet some of her friend’s Cling-ons.  They are horrible people who talk only about themselves, usually about all their problems; illness, injury, bad kids, bad relationships, bad breath…they are simply horrible people.  It becomes difficult to even have a conversation with Mrs. C’s friend because the Cling-ons constantly butt in.

Mrs. C cautions, “Be careful, if you are nice, they will cling on you!”

Once befriended, a Cling-on will not let go.  They will call, they will visit, they will know every party that you attend, and they will be there. 

Once befriended the only way to rid yourself of a Cling-on is you have to be mean to the Cling-on.  You can’t be mean just once, no it is not that easy, you have to be very mean and consistently mean before a Cling-on will look for another host to share their misery.

Losing a Cling-on is not fun.  Most people don’t like to be mean, but Cling-ons will not graciously accept anything else.  They do not pickup on any signals that most people recognize as “This person probably does not want to be my friend.”  A Cling-on gives you two choices.  Be my friend and be miserable with me, or be so horribly mean that I will eventually move on.  A Cling-on relies on guilt.  You must ignore the guilt, be strong, and be mean.

I learned early about Cling-ons.  The nature of my father’s job had us relocate every few years.  I was the new kid at school every few years.  Cling-ons sense new kids in school like a shark senses blood in the water.  Perhaps this is where I developed my crankiness.  Snarls and frowns to a Cling-on are like garlic to a vampire.

Because of this, I am slow to be friendly.  I have to size a person up before I can open up.

I don’t have many friends, but of the few I do have, none are Cling-ons.     

21 comments:

  1. I don't have any Cling-ons either - I'm probably not nice enough ..

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  2. I used to have Cling-ons years ago but thank goodness I finally came to my senses. Now I just pick up strays (the human kind).

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  3. oh, you speak the truth. it is so difficult to be downright cruel but sometimes that is all that works.

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  4. My Mrs. C. is constantly telling me about coworkers who suck the life blood out of her. This one woman lives with five cats and has dumped every problem she's ever had on my wife, but in twelve years has never asked my wife a single question about her life. I can be loyal to a fault and have also had to be mean to shake a few Cling-ons. You've really struck a nerve with this one, Cranky.

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  5. I avoid these people at all costs too. They make me crazy. I can be mean as well. There are some people you just can't like and that's that.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  6. Little children are attracted to pant legs the same way.

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  7. You definitely do NOT have a "Mr. Rogers" complex!!

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  8. I know the type. I was very shy in high school and so the cling-ons found me easily. I think the only way to turn the cling wrap into teflon is to not get caught up in the first place.

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  9. I attract a lot of cling-ons, but I don't mind, for everyone needs a friend :)

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  10. It's even more difficult to counsel your children on cling-ons. On one hand you don't want to see them victimized. On the other, you've been preaching "be nice to EVERYBODY" since Day One of Kindergarten.
    I don't suffer fools gladly, therefore I don't have many friends (by choice) and I'm blissfully happy with the few I have and everything else about my life!
    Oh, and Stephen? We have SIX cats over here and I am not a weirdo!
    lol

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  11. I was going to comment, but it might come off as being clingy, so you'll just have to guess my opinion of this post.
    On second thought, good job, cranky; rage on!!!

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  12. I either have not had any cling-ons, do not recognize one when I see one, or perhaps I am one. Naw, maybe not that last one anyway---I hope.

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  13. Are Cling-Ons anything like Klingons?

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  14. You hit the nail on the head with today's post!

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  15. We move every few years; that's been a good way to thin out the cling on herds. I think the older I get the more selective I get and I don't think there are many cling ons in our circle of influence.

    betty

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  16. Like you, I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I do have are good ones. Ones that you actually enjoy being around. I never thought much about cling-ons before now, but they are definitely out there, looking for someone that can't outrun them. :)

    S

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  17. But they try so hard!

    Nah! What I MEANT to say was, they're so trying. We had one at school. During our first-day-back meetings, we get to leave for lunch. I was driving my best friend Mabel. Only Mabel. I used to haul a whole crowd then I had my Yukon. Seating for 7, you know. But that made me nervous. So for years, I had only been driving Mabel. Another friend drove herself, because she was a smoker. So Clingy invited herself along, and I snapped, "I only drive Mabel." Well. You would have thought I whacked her across the face with a blue plastic snow shovel, like my husband did to that banty rooster who jumped at him every evening.

    Clingy drove herself to the restaurant, and sat down at a table by herself. Other people called to her to join us. I, myself, did not. Clingy kept trying for that Oscar, getting all teary-eyed like we had a secret society and didn't tell her our door knocks to get in.

    Yeah. I almost wished I had told her, "I would have hauled five other people to lunch, but just not you." Even though that was a lie.

    You have to put your foot down on Cling-Ons.

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  18. Being mean is the only way to get a cling on to move on, yes I have known folks like this and although you hate to treat them this way it is the only thing that works.

    Direct and to the point Joe I like this.

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  19. CLING-ONS! At least now I have a name for them! :-)

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  20. Cling-ons are often extremely shy and don't know how to make friends, don't know how to start conversations and because of this don't learn to recognise body language or other subtle hints that go along with friendship. So when someone is nice to them and begins a conversation, the cling-on is flooded with relief that someone, anyone is talking to them, liking them and that is what they then cling to, not knowing the other person is just passing time, not offering permanent friendship. I recognised the potential to be a cling-on in myself fairly early and held back from potentially promising friendships for years, becoming instead a loner.

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  21. I used to have cling-ons before I married. It's been 20 years now and I can't think of having any now - at least none in my physical space. Those who are cling ons tend to call me; but that's not too much of a problem nowadays because of caller-id.

    When I married and moved to another city, I tried to reconnect with someone and she was nasty with me after only my second call to her. I'll never forget that. It was quite an embarrassing lesson. Eventually, I settled in and made some real friends.

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