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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

WHO YA GONNA CALL?


WHO YA GONNA CALL?


Many years ago, when I worked for a living, my main skill was knowing who to call when things went wrong in the Brokerage Firm world of order processing.  Oh I knew some rules, regulations and stuff, but mostly, when we had a computer problem, I knew who to call.  Often as not the person I called already knew there was an issue and they were on the case.

My boss, Joe Schleck, was always looking for the status of any systems failure.  He knew two people to call, the head of computer programming, or the head of mainframe operations.  Joe knew his stuff, but most of his knowledge came before smart machines. 

As an aside, Joe knew stuff, but he also occasionally showed signs of not being the shiniest coin in the fountain.  He often demonstrated his dimness with little things.  For instance, I am not the best speller, but I knew that a stock transaction was called a trade and it was spelled T-R-A-D-E.  No matter how many times it was brought to his attention, Joe spelled trade…T-R-A-I-D.  Our department was responsible for trades executed on the New York Stock Exchange, commonly known as the NYSE.  I once joked that Joe could not spell NYSE if you spotted him the N and the E. 

Anyway.

If there was a computer mainframe problem Joe would demand to talk to the head of mainframe operations, Emmett Janco.  Joe had worked with Emmett for over twenty years, yet he always called him Jansco.

Emmett knew his business, but his right hand man, Billy Mac was the real go to guy. 

Every time there was a mainframe problem I would call Billy Mac.  Typically he would say, “I’m on it, I’ll get right back to you.” I would then report to Joe S. that mainframe operations was aware of the issue and they’re working on a fix.

“Who’d you call?”

“Billy Mac.”

“Billy Mac? What’s he know? Marie, get me Jansco on the phone.”

“Do you mean Emmett Janco?”

“Yes, Jansco.”

(Minutes later.)

“Mr. Janco is on the line.”

“Jansco!  What the hell is going on over there?  When are we going to be back in business?”

“I’ll get right on it.” 

Five minutes later Emmett gets back and tells him we’ll be up in two minutes. 

“OK then thanks.

Jansco says will be up in two minutes.  Dammit Hagy I keep telling you, if you want anything done, you need to go to the top.”

Every time this happened, and it happened a couple of times a week, I would go back to my office and there would be a call from Billy Mac.

“We’ll be up in a minute…and why did Schleck have to call Emmett?  He came in asking a bunch of questions I had to stop what I was doing.  We would have been up five minutes ago if he just left me alone...Friggin Janco.”

“I know, but you know my boss...Friggin Schleck!”

14 comments:

  1. Omgosh you are hilarious! Joe must be verbally dyslexic...a condition not even yet diagnosed!

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  2. I remember when the mainframe had its own office and a dedicated nanny.

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  3. It's funny how you can correct some people a hundred times on the pronunciation of words or names and they just don't get it. They aren't listening to what is being said, and only hear what's imbedded in their brain. Unfortunately, these types of brains aren't equipped with a "delete" switch.

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  4. Bwahahahahahahahahah. Love this. It happens in every organization too. Yes indeed.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  5. When my kids were in elementary school, I was pretty active with the Parents' Association. Two women come to mind.

    One of the other moms had a habit of mispronouncing most surnames. Pattendon became Paddington. Stittle became Stiddle. And most other names inherited an S at the end (my own surname - Quint became Quints). And she was always expressing how fustrated she was over her otherwise aimcable separation.

    But my favourite was a different friend who consistently misquoted expressions. Her all time best was "Yes.. everything.. the whole ninechelada!"

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  6. Gosh does retirement look great after reading that. I think I worked for his cousin.

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  7. When I landed my first teaching job, my mom told me: "Be nice to the secretaries and the janitors. They're the ones who run the place."

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  8. I've always thought most higher ups were promoted there just to get them out of the way. I think your story just corroborated that theory. :)

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  9. I don't know what to say to this. You'd think that after a couple of similar occurrences, Emmet whatshisname would realise that Billy Mac was already on the job, and simply say things were being fixed and they'd be up agan soon, with going to Billy Mac's office and wasting time.

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  10. Yeah, years ago I got in big-time trouble because I used to ask our 'Emmett' how he fixed things, then next time I'd try that before calling him.

    Boos woman got irated over me ignoring the chain ....

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