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Sunday, October 12, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 101214



It is time once again for

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY




This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-doo. 'None of the above' may be a correct answer.

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Woman says cop preached to her about Jesus during traffic stop - "Slow down for Christ sake!"

Drunken dancer attacked boyfriend with ax - She wanted top give him a lop dance.

Potato found growing inside woman after being used as contraceptive - Her husband didn't like fish and chips*.

Hidden bra camera shows woman how often breasts are ogled - Most men who were interviewed claim they were merely trying to see if there was a camera in the bra.  I know I always check for a camera in a bra.

Brewery promoting beer with boobs -  I always liked my beer with pretzels, but I'd be willing to experiment.

Diner owner takes prices off the menu, lets God 'control the cash register' - Is God taking his 10% off the top?

Did Sadie Robertson accidentally admit 'Duck Dynasty' is scripted? - Does anyone who has watched more than 5 minutes of this show not know it i9s scripted?

Man with 17-hour erection admitted to hospital - He also admitted it to the cop on the corner, the fire department, his bowling league, and any woman who would** listen.

Archeologists find 2000 year old skeleton of man who appears to be holding a remote - Only had two buttons, one for Fox News, the other for Cave Drawings.

'Gender inclusive' school district says drop 'boys and girls,' call kids 'purple penguins'- I can't see how that could confuse the children.

*Mrs. C said this is offensive, but she laughed so I left it in. 

**Tee hee, I said wood, Val.

____________________________________

Last weeks fake headline was:
NONE OF THE ABOVE

And the winners are:

J
"What Sandee said"......for starters
and I've always been gullible, so I'm going with "none of the above" again, even though that GOP candidate's request is tempting!
Good Grandma hints and fun ideas @ http://www.whathappensatgrandmas.com/ 
I wish it were ALL of them, but I think it's NONE of the above!!
For the "Funny Paper" section of the internet, go to http://fishducky.blogspot.com/ 
She got it wrong, but the funniest comment goes to:
I dunno, I wanted it to be the bike-riding study but I'm going with the Gee-Oh-Pee candidate.
Congratulate all the winners, and come back next week for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

15 comments:

  1. * It SO is.. but dammit, I laughed too.

    It has to be the skeleton. How is that even remotely possible? ;)

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  2. * i didn't laugh, but i gave you props for cleverness.

    gotta be remote, too.

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  3. Yay! I won! I tried so long and so hard for this honor. Thank you! And now - what? Another competition for the "funniest comment?" That's my next goal!
    And this week I'll go with the potato. I mean, she could have just harvested it at home without the (presumed) trip to the hospital, right?

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  4. I've got to go with Archeologists find 2000 year old skeleton of man who appears to be holding a remote. Not even possible.

    Have a terrific day. :)

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  5. Regardless of the facts I know that your conclusion on the remote is absolutely true.

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  6. Yeah, the remote has to be impossible. That means the potato one would be true and that's just disturbing.

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  7. Archeologists find 2000 year old skeleton of man who appears to be holding a remote. It's either made up or it's my husband!!

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  8. I'm gonna' go with the remote control story, altho Bill O'Reilly has probably been around since then so, meh, could be, but no. ;) - And that potato story? Disturbing and disgusting.. It'll be a while before I eat another spud..

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  9. i am going with the purple penguins!

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  10. Purple penguins.

    After all, the "remote" could have been a remote spear thrower. Or something like that.

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  11. I am pointedly ignoring the obvious, and going with the Priceless Diner as fake. What is wrong with people! Expecting Jesus to take the wheel, and now wanting God to set the entree prices! Don't you suppose they have more important things to do?

    **As far as your WOOD goes...my thirteen-year-old self salutes you with an armpit fart!

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  12. I'll go with the skeleton holding a remote.

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  13. I think I will go with, 'Gender inclusive' school district says drop 'boys and girls,' call kids 'purple penguins'. I would not be surprised if it is true with how stupid schools seem to act now days.

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  14. I think the fake is the school district suggesting to call their kids purple penguins instead of boys and girls. What IS a "gender inclusive" school district, anyway? I've never heard of a school district being called that.

    ReplyDelete

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