STUPID HEADLINES 071314
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do. 'None of the above' may be a correct answer.
_____________________________Kids With ADHD More Likely to Abuse Drugs – That’s why we need to start them early on Ritalin.
New Movement Redefines the 'Run Like a Girl' Stereotype – They are smarter and they live longer, can you just throw us a bone…men are stronger. Andy Kaufman proved this as the undefeated Inter-gender wrestling champion of the world.
Lois Lerner in 2013: ‘Need to be cautious about what we say in emails’ – Because you never know when they may not be accidently lost.
Chicago co-author of book on how to survive 'Bulls of Pamplona’ is gored – Well…he did survive.
Astronomers decide Pluto might be a Planet after all – It will always be Mickey’s dog to me.
'Screaming' pig threatens children walking through Maine woods – What Nancy Pelosi was doing in Maine no one knows.*
California beach goes heavy on the anchovies – Personally I prefer my California beach with pepperoni.
US sends 14,000 draft notices to men born in 1800s – Fortunately I drew a high lottery number in 1969.
Ex-NASA scientist designs giant, car-juggling robot – Smart enough to design it, dumb enough to think it is a good idea.
Houston man gives Obama 'reluctant pass' for skipping long BBQ line – Come on dude, even if you don’t like our President, do you really want the world to seen a clip of him waiting in line for an hour for a freaking sandwich? Talk about losing the respect of other nations…
Robin Thicke has no idea what he's doing – Neither do I, so why aren’t I rich and famous?
Intoxicated Man Jumps Into Giant Shark Tank – I think they could have left “Intoxicated” out of this headline…it is kinda inferred.
*Oh come on Liberals you’ve been way meaner to Sarah Palin for almost eight years.
Last week’s fake was:
Tornado makes touchdown in New Jersey town – It still lost 7-6 when it missed the extra point.
AND THE WINNERS ARE:
NOBODY!! Well there were only a disappointing 6 guesses.
COME BACK NEXT WEEK FOR MORE