NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Friday, July 11, 2014

EXPLAINING MEN’s BEHAVIOR


EXPLAINING MEN’s BEHAVIOR
There are many things about men that piss women off.  Men have no clue why because we don’t know how women interpret these things.  Often women interpret what men do or don’t do on how they feel when their girlfriend does or doesn’t do the same thing. 

Ladies…two different meanings:

Men do not remember dates. 

If a woman’s girlfriend “forgets” a date she knows it means “She is pissed off about something, or she just doesn’t care.”

Men do not forget dates.  Forgetting means the date is important to them.  Forgetting is a passive aggressive event.  Men never place any importance on dates so we can’t forget, what we never knew.   I love my grandchildren and I have not got a clue about their birthdates.  If you think that means I don’t love them then you are a jerk…or you are a woman.

Men don’t put stuff away in its proper place.

If a woman does not put something away properly it is an act of aggression because putting things where they belong is important to them.

Men do not put things away, because we never know where they go.  If we ask, we get a lecture because we have already been told and we were not listening because when you told us there was a hair on my shirt and I couldn’t pick it off and listen at the same time.  Who could?

Men don’t listen.

Women’s girlfriends always listen.  They don’t want to miss any gossip, they actually care, and they know they will get a chance to also talk.

Men listen if there is nothing to distract them (see above) which is not often.  Also women don’t realize it, but they do not listen to men.  They don’t realize it because men gave up long ago and don’t have anything to say.   Admit it ladies, when your man comes home and you ask, “How was your day?” You really don’t care, that question is just an opening to tell him everything that happened to you from waking up, stuff at your job, cleaning a stain on the carpet, making soup, blah, blah, blah…

 

Men don’t care what they wear.

Women dress to impress gay men and other women.  Men dress for other men and men don’t care what they wear.

Men don’t know how to clean anything.

Women clean so other women don’t talk.  If another woman is coming over (even a cleaning woman) women go into a cleaning frenzy.  Men don’t know about this kind of gossip…and we don’t care.

 

Some man behavior is purely logical (so women will not understand):

Men won’t ask for directions.

Women ask for directions at the drop of a hat.  They usually ask a man.  Men never admit to being lost, so they will give out directions even when they have no idea what they are talking about.  Men know this.  That is why men never ask for directions.

Men won’t cuddle after sex.

We will cuddle before sex to get sex; after sex, we just don’t see the point.

Men are only interested in sex.

Yeah…so…

22 comments:

  1. No wonder I am always picking after my husband. He does not like to put used clothes in the hamper.
    Also I am the one who picks his clothes out for special occasions or even mall shopping. This post explains a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a different definition of "Used Clothes" from your husband. Dirty clothes go in the hamper, clean clothes go back in the dresser, clothes that "might be ok" go on the floor for further review.

      Delete
  2. Wow, except for the fact that I am like a man on a few of these, I do think you have hit the nail on the head here!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think I may be half man and SD is half woman ... I also combine the not listening with asking for directions which makes the whole thing pointless really ...

    ReplyDelete
  4. My first reaction when I read the title to this entry was, "Are you kidding me? Some things just can't be explained." But after reading it, I must say you NAILED IT! Excellent!

    S

    ReplyDelete
  5. This post should be required reading for engaged couples...


    Furthermore, there should be a written exam requiring 100% correct answers in order for my ex to get a marriage license.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This pretty much sums it up.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I go out to lunch to avoid the whole clean house thing.

    Actually, I clean the most for 15 year old boys. Son's friends. Toilets, mostly. TMI.

    ReplyDelete
  8. TRUE. The only thing that keeps me from choking some guys is knowing women do/don't do plenty of things that make men crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your observations are pithy and amusing as always. One really struck a cord. My mother lives in a retirement facility and her unit is professionally cleaned once a week. On cleaning day my mother gets up at dawn and cleans her place until it sparkles. She wants her apartment to look good for the cleaning lady. Men, as you've pointed out, wouldn't care.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh boy, you nailed it! I'd have to say my hubs would agree to every single one of these points. I think the reason our marriage has lasted so long is because I wised up to these differences at a vey young age!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Joeh, you forgot an important one I am constantly reminding my wife and her friends about: "Men don't take hints" not subtle ones, not blatant ones.....you want a man to know something TELL HIM!!! Don't hint, don't allude, don't nudge...come out and say it or don't be mad that we don't know what you're talking about!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good one, you are absolutely correct, except when a women tells you not to get her anything for her Birthday or an Anniversary, it is not a hint, it is a TEST!! It takes a few failures for men to learn this.

      Delete
  12. Here's one: Men Solve Problems - Don't complain to a man unless you want a solution to your problem. A man doesn't understand that his wife sometimes just wants to vent about her day; he will always offer a solution, no matter how ludicrous his proposed solution may be.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Finally, the direction-asking conundrum has been explained!

    Yeah. My sister cleans for her cleaning lady, then she has to find someplace to go, because she will not remain in the house and watch that lady clean.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've learned to accept some of these differences and I'm much better off for it. If I want something for Christmas or a birthday, I send my husband the link to the item on Amazon. He's a wonderful gift giver because of that.

    In some ways, I feel like a man. I don't care what I wear. I don't know what I wear. I've had people walk up to me and say something like, "...so, do you think they'll finally win on Sunday?" After an utterly bewildered look, I find myself looking at my T-shirt. Oh. I wore my son's Cleveland Browns shirt. I think they are some sort of football team.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "some sort of football team"? Based on their performance I think many would argue with that. ;)

      S

      Delete
  15. I think you expressed this really well with a bit of humor too. Just would add men can't multi task, women seem to be able to :)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
  16. @betty, of course men can multi task, I've seen many a man watch TV AND drink a beer at the same time.
    I don't care what I wear either as long as it fits and is comfortable. I must be part man.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ha ha Derek can never remember dates so I just remind him since I'm good at remembering that stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  18. It's the not asking for directions that drives me crazy, or not asking where something is in a shop. Grrrrrrrr.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...top right on the front page...go on!