THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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Monday, June 2, 2014
WHY DID YOU DO THAT? - a cranky re-run
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
This cranky re-run is from June 2011
At least once a day (twice now that I am retired) Mrs. Cranky asks me “Why did you do that?”Usually this is not in reference to something I did, but something I did not do.
She doesn’t just ask me “Why did you do that?” First I am summoned to the place of the indiscretion.
“OK, WHERE ARE YOU?”
“IN THE KITCHEN.”
I clomp down the stairs, “Yes.”
“Why did you do that?”She says as she points to a dirty knife next to the sink and one foot away from an open dishwasher.
“I don’t know.”I really don’t know.I never know.I meant to put the knife in the dishwasher, I know I did, but I guess I got distracted.The problem is that men cannot multi-task.One distraction and the task at hand is forgotten.
Men think they can multi-task.They are wrong.At work, a man can talk on the phone while he is surfing the computer for some information while at the same time jotting down a note to make a lunch appointment with a customer.This is not multi-tasking.This is doing your job.All the tasks are related, all are functions performed for one task; taking home a pay check.
Women multi-task.They can change a diaper while paying a bill on the computer, jotting down a grocery list, and talking to a friend on the phone about her next-door neighbor’s mother-in-law.
This multi-tasking difference is rooted deep in men and women’s genes.
Early man had two tasks, hunt to provide food for his family, and procreate to have a family.Woman had to cook, clean, keep the fire going, have children and take care of the children.All at the same time.
OK multi-tasking while having the children might be too much.
Man could not make a bow and arrow while hunting, he had to make the tools first, and then go on the hunt.
Man could not procreate and hunt at the same time; it was hunt first, screw later.
Women could screw while planning the next day’s dinner.
It is this genetic difference that explains why all men so often hear “Why did you do that!”
Please women, cut us a break.When you see dirty underwear right next to the hamper, or a new roll of toilet paper on the counter and an empty tube on the roller remember, we cannot multi-task.When we make breakfast and leave the stove on, we got distracted.When we come home from going out to dinner and lock the door while you are still outside, we got distracted.
Ladies, you may be able to procreate while you plan tomorrow’s dinner; we have to concentrate on the task at hand!
A CRANKY BONUS:
Funny skit my son put together for his school. You may recognize some of these teachers from your own school days.