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Monday, June 2, 2014

WHY DID YOU DO THAT? - a cranky re-run

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

This cranky re-run is from June 2011
 
At least once a day (twice now that I am retired) Mrs. Cranky asks me “Why did you do that?”  Usually this is not in reference to something I did, but something I did not do. 

She doesn’t just ask me “Why did you do that?”  First I am summoned to the place of the indiscretion.

“JOE!”

“YES.”

“COME HERE!”

“OK, WHERE ARE YOU?”

“IN THE KITCHEN.”

I clomp down the stairs, “Yes.”

“Why did you do that?”  She says as she points to a dirty knife next to the sink and one foot away from an open dishwasher.

“I don’t know.”  I really don’t know.  I never know.  I meant to put the knife in the dishwasher, I know I did, but I guess I got distracted.  The problem is that men cannot multi-task.  One distraction and the task at hand is forgotten.

Men think they can multi-task.  They are wrong.  At work, a man can talk on the phone while he is surfing the computer for some information while at the same time jotting down a note to make a lunch appointment with a customer.  This is not multi-tasking.  This is doing your job.  All the tasks are related, all are functions performed for one task; taking home a pay check.

Women multi-task.  They can change a diaper while paying a bill on the computer, jotting down a grocery list, and talking to a friend on the phone about her next-door neighbor’s mother-in-law.

This multi-tasking difference is rooted deep in men and women’s genes.

Early man had two tasks, hunt to provide food for his family, and procreate to have a family.  Woman had to cook, clean, keep the fire going, have children and take care of the children.  All at the same time.

OK multi-tasking while having the children might be too much.

Man could not make a bow and arrow while hunting, he had to make the tools first, and then go on the hunt. 

No multi-tasking. 

Man could not procreate and hunt at the same time; it was hunt first, screw later. 

No multi-tasking.

Women could screw while planning the next day’s dinner. 

Multi-tasking.

It is this genetic difference that explains why all men so often hear “Why did you do that!”

Please women, cut us a break.  When you see dirty underwear right next to the hamper, or a new roll of toilet paper on the counter and an empty tube on the roller remember, we cannot multi-task.  When we make breakfast and leave the stove on, we got distracted.  When we come home from going out to dinner and lock the door while you are still outside, we got distracted.

Ladies, you may be able to procreate while you plan tomorrow’s dinner; we have to concentrate on the task at hand!
                                                                               ____________________

A CRANKY BONUS:

Funny skit my son put together for his school.  You may recognize some of these teachers from your own school days.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybdRJjJhajg 

20 comments:

  1. Joe I am in complete agreement, we men CANNOT multitask at all. I once tried to walk and chew gum simultaneously. I still have the bump on my head from the fall...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, thanks for explaining that...now I just need to accept it.

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  3. (the cheerleading coach - kimmie sweet? - was my fave.) :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm in complete agreement with you. But I'm cleaning out our spare bedroom because I think you're gonna need it soon.

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  5. Bull. I'm not buying this either. We women all know you men have tons excuses why YOU CAN'T do this or that. You sell us this bill of goods and then sit on your duffs and smile thinking how gullible we women are. NOT. BUYING. THIS!

    Have a fabulous day. :)

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  6. "One distraction and the task at hand is forgotten."

    Boy, I hear you there, brother.
    ...and the more we have on our minds, the worse it gets.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hilarious post! I guess I need to cut the hubby some slack and stop nagging him about the things which I now know are small. Thanks for the laugh!

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  8. I would give you several clicks on the Funny box for reactions, but it only allows one. Sadly I know 1 male creaton who can't even single task. I won't call him a man and insult the rest of you.

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  9. I can't multi-task either. I have a hard enough time focusing on one thing at a time. I think I need more meds.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So, here's what I said over at Skip's place...

    "I know I commented at Joe's place, but being a guy I now can't remember what I said since I'm commenting here. It was probably something horribly sexist. Anyway, you remind me of something I do way more often than I should. I'll be cooking dinner and take something off of the burner. After dinner, I'll go back into the kitchen to put away leftovers or whatever, think to myself "Gee, it's awfully warm in here", then discover I left the burner on with nothing on it cooking. D'Oh!"

    Obviously, I did NOT comment here before. And the above story obviates the need for me to say anything sexist; as a matter of fact, it proves the point doubly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My comments disappear regularly, Suldog.
      It's because I usually click onto the next place I'm going instead of clicking the "Publish" button.

      Delete
  11. Dear Joe,
    Put your knife in the dishwasher and change the toilet paper roll, and for heavens sake don't put your clothes next to the hamper. I have to side with Mrs Cranky here. Just take one task at a time. :) I'm playing with you of course. We gripe about it but we know it's not gonna do any good. Just makes us feel a little better to get it off our chest. And why can't I find your button to add to my blog? I've seen it elsewhere but I'm not seeing it on your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ...dirty knife next to the sink and one foot away from an open dishwasher...

    I'm fairly certain that Mr. Peeper has no idea where the dishwasher is. Or that we even have one. He does have a faint idea about the laundry room, but he may just think of it as a closet that holds clothes still to be ironed.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow! You have a dishwasher? All I have is a hole under the cabinet where one can fit. I think my husband got distracted between running water to that area, and buying the dishwasher. Sixteen years ago.

    My favorite teacher in the video was the cool sub. We hate those guys!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well, if "multi-tasking" includes switching from station to station to watch 3 football and two hockey games at the same time while polishing off a deluxe nacho platter and 6 beers then there ARE members of the species who ARE capable of handling it!
    Kind of annoyed that I am one of the multitude of people who have not received your (and many other blogger) new post notices by email for over 2 weeks. Switching to GFC right now!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Just when I was feeling pretty good about myself for learning to walk and chew gum at the same time, you go and shoot me down. Gee, thanks. :(

    ReplyDelete
  16. Replies
    1. Why is it that all the guys get this, and the ladies all say "Nice try?"

      Delete
  17. Sorry joeh, I simply cannot forgive dirty underwear right next to the hamper. Or a new toilet paper roll right there but not put onto the spindle.

    ReplyDelete

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