THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!
Sunday, June 22, 2014
STUPID HEADLINES 062214
STUPID HEADLINES 062214
It is time once
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and
sometimes offensive comments.
One headline may be completely made up, guess the fake and win a
mention and a Whoop-tee-do. 'None of the
above' may be a correct answer.
IRS says it cannot locate Lois Lerner
emails prior to 2011 – This is a job for SUPERMAN!
Tree falls on million-dollar Toyota – No one was there to hear it, so did the
owner really cry.
'Super bananas' may save
millions of lives in Africa – “Look, up in the tree, it’s a bird, it’s a plane…”
Terry Richardson: I never had sex with
Lindsay Lohan – And I thought it was just me.
NYC Spider-Man convicted of harassment – “Dude, clean up your web!”
headed to Texas coast – Nothing unusual about this except it was spotted in Kansas.
Million dollar Rhode Island
mansion built on Public Park must go – I was always taught “Measure twice, dig
foundation once.” Right Scott?
College student brags he makes
$300 an hour as a male escort – He was actually given subway fare, but pro-rated it comes to $300 an
Tiger Woods shoots hole-in-one
during practice round – Right in the clown’s mouth…FREE GAME!!
CIA planned to make demon toy of bin Laden
– Osama Bin-baalzebub Laden by
Marx!Batteries not included.
Pitcher Brad Mills
Traded from Brewers to A's for Reported $1 – Do you want
fries with that pitcher?
Goldman Sachs Trader sues over skimpy
$8.25 million bonus –
Trader earned 7 billion
for the firm by shorting risky derivatives products against firm’s own clients,
the same products which sent the world into a massive recession, wants more
money.My advice to GS Trader? STFU!!
Last week’s fake was:
arrested for meth lab after four year old dials 911 – “Mommy’s
making a mess?...Oh meth!We’ll be right
Sandee I'm going for the
mom arrested for meth lab after four year old dials 911.
Sandee winning is getting to be a habit, but still not passing
the legendary Fishducky (Hope you are feeling better FD.)