REMOTELY IN THE DARK
Mrs. C and I spend a lot of time in bed.
Oh please, get real, I’m an old man. We haven’t done that since last Tuesday.
We spend a lot of time in bed watching TV. I love TV. I love all the shows. We have “On Demand” so we never miss any shows. We have movies and shows on DVD. We even still have a VCR player for some old stuff. We have pay per view movies. All of this is in high def., blue ray, stereo sound, and in glorious living color. We watch with computers on our laps, cell phones at the ready and occasionally a good book on a nook. This day and age, I think most people have all this great technology. I love it, but of course there is one thing that makes me cranky.
Why won’t my remote control light up at night?
When the lights go out, I cannot read the numbers or controls on the remote. This occasionally starts an argument in the Cranky home.
“Would you put on “Housewives of New Jersey?”
“I can’t find the right channel button. I hit 77.”
“Just find the five, it has the little bump, then work from there.”
“There is no friggin bump.”
“Yes there is. Damn, if you were blind you couldn’t find the knob on a door.”
“There is no flipping bump on any button. Here, you find 44.”
“There…44…right next to the button with the bump.”
“How did you do that?”
“Just feel for the bump!”
“I feel no bump. Whose idea is it to put a tiny bump on the 5 that only a trained braille reader can find? It’s the 21st Century for Christmas sake; can’t they have a button that lights up all the remote buttons?”
“Where should they put the button that lights up the remote?”
“Anywhere! What is the difference?”
“How would you find it in the dark?”
“I don’t know. Maybe they could put a bump on it!”
“You’re a jerk!”