THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe), satire, and some politics, mostly stuff from a confused head.
Want to search COM for previous posts? Put a keyword in the left hand corner by the spyglass. You got a word Cranky probably had something to say,
NEW AND IMPROVED
This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!
Saturday, June 7, 2014
A cranky opinion for
CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY
The following is the opinion of a
cranky old man with no real knowledge on the subject opined.Opposing opinions are welcome, but will be
ignored; and please, no name calling and that means you, you big stupid-head.
"How about a blog to
students graduating from HS or College and what advice you have for them.
I am curious to see what
you have to say."
See I’m not lying.
here is Cranky’s advice to the graduating class of 2014.
you have learned much in the past four years.In the next four months you will forget 80% of what you have
learned.What you will remember is how
to learn and how to think.You should
know what you want to continue learning and you now have the ability to do
so.So get out of here and forget all
that crap you found boring and learn new stuff that you find interesting.
will want you to follow certain paths of higher learning or occupation.Listen to them.Consider their wise counsel, and then go and
do whatever it is you want to do and know that you can do really well.
On to the important stuff:
I want you
all to realize something very important.Think back to some of your ideas and thoughts of just a few years
ago.You were probably stupid, you were
probably a geek, some might in retrospect say you were an asshole.Am I right?Of course I am.It’s OK, it is
called growing up.The lesson is that
years from today you will look back on your life and think the exact same
thing.Growing up simply means the years
that pass before you realize that you used to be an asshole increases exponentially
to the years you age.
I am going
to speak to the guys now because I have very little experience at being a
woman, but ladies you may learn something as well.
I ask you to
look around at your fellow graduates.Guys, do you see that mousey looking brunette with braces, and a
straight figure?Nice girl right?You liked talking to her and would have asked
her out except you only liked the hot girls, oh yes you did.
Do you see
the kid with pimples and the Summa Cum Laude sash; big geek right?Nice kid, but strange, always a nose in a
book and the first kid out in DodgeBall.
years from now you will see the mousey girl again and she will have straight
teeth, a fabulous figure, lustrous wavy hair and her arm will be around the
successful business man you always thought was a giant geek.That is when you will palm smack yourself on the
forehead and realize that you used to be an asshole.
worse is the ex-geek is your boss.ASSHOLE!!
that well-endowed blonde on your left?You always wanted to ask her out didn’t you; but she was out of your
league.Then two rows up is the class bully
and star line-backer you always sort of admired because he had a way with the
women.Ten years from now the blonde
will have three kids and live in a one bedroom apartment.People will tell her she has a pretty face,
if only she could lose 60 pounds.
waiting for her husband to come home from the bar where he works…and
drinks.Hey, it’s the line-backer bully
is the kid in the back, the one everyone likes.He has a big smile, always a joke, and is nice to everyone.He has maybe a “C” average.He is the one that promised box wine in the
cafeteria when running for class president.He lost when Miss Gromlick reminded everyone that this was not a
popularity contest.The class goody-two-
shoes won instead.
from now Mr. Goody-Two- Shoes is an accountant with a fat wife and two kids
with runny noses.The nice guy has won
“Salesman of the Year” three years running. He is rich, his wife is hot, his
kid’s noses don’t run and everyone still likes him.
Gromlick, sometimes life is a popularity contest.
So what have
we learned here?
learn.Do what you are good at.Be nice to people and don’t judge them by
out and celebrate.Eat, drink, and have
a good time, for no matter what, years from now you will realize you are all
The preceding was the opinion of a
cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.