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Thursday, June 12, 2014

BREAKFAST WITH MRS. CRANKY


BREAKFAST WITH MRS. CRANKY
 
Every once in a while Mrs. C and I treat ourselves with a nice breakfast at the diner.  New Jersey is famous for its diners.   They are all the same; fast, good, inexpensive, and the waitress always calls you Honey.

I ordered the usual, no menu needed, two eggs over, crisp bacon, home fries, rye toast and coffee.  As I dug into my eggs I mentioned that recent studies now say the yolk is actually good for you yet all the health nuts still order their egg white omelets.  I have long claimed the whole egg was healthy.

This started another interesting Mrs. C/Cranky conversation.

“The drug companies started that.”

“Started what.”

“That egg yolk thing.  They claimed it was unhealthy so they could sell more of their drugs.”

“What drugs?”

“You know; unnecessary drugs.”  

“That’s ridiculous.  What? They all got together and said let’s say egg yolks are no good and we can then sell a bunch of other healthy unnecessary drugs?”

“Yes.  The big pharmacy companies are ruthless money grabbing tyrants.”

“Well if that’s true they’re doing a lousy job of ripping people off.”

“What? Why?”

“Because the drug stocks we own are going nowhere and they only pay about a 3.8% yield.  If they were ripping people off unmercifully the stocks should be higher and the dividends larger.”

Mrs. C changed the subject, advising me we would be having dinner next week with an old friend and her husband.  The husband is Puerto Rican so I had to make a politically incorrect comment about having to watch our hub caps.  (Oh stop, it's a joke...hell, the guy is a retired cop!)

Anyway the conversation found its way to hubcaps and locking lug-nuts on new cars.

“Most cars don’t have hubcaps anymore, they have locking lug-nuts so people won’t steal the tires, but you wouldn’t spring for those safe lug-nuts on the Toyota.”

“That’s because those lugs are a pain in the ass.  I had them on the old Jeep and when I had to change a tire I could never match the key up to the lug, and to make it even harder, that stupid car had a different key for the spare.  To top it off, my stupid ex didn’t know what the keys were for so she just tossed them out.  Who does that?”

“One thing for sure, you know I wouldn’t ever throw them out.”

“First you never throw anything out and second you would have known what they were. 

Anyway, I took the car into “Mike’s” and asked if he could just take the fancy lugs off and replace them all with ones that don’t require a key.  He said he could and I asked how since I didn’t have a key.  It seems they make a tool for just that problem.”

“What is to keep the crooks from having that same tool?”

“Nothing; that is why buying those locking lug-nuts is a waste of time and money.”

“Then why does anyone buy them?”

“Because they are told that they need them to protect their tires from crooks.  They are told this all because there is a lot of money in selling the fancy lug-nuts.  You know who claims you need them to protect from theft?”

“Who?”

“The big drug companies.”

“You’re a jerk!”

“Check please.”

20 comments:

  1. LOL thanks for the morning laugh. I reckon' the drug companies control everything!

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  2. I call everyone honey since I can't remember their real names half the time.

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    1. I call everyone "guy" for the same reason....

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  3. Mrs C has a good point. For so long companies tell us this or that isn't good for us so people stop eating/drinking it, then "suddenly" we're all deficient in vitamin whatever so we buy the artificial vitamin from the drug companies, then when we're all used to taking a daily dose, suddenly it's revealed that the "unhealthy" food is actually good for us. There have been many variations on this over decades.

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  4. Eat responsibly, exercise, don't smoke, don't drink, die anyway. Bon Appetit. :)

    S

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  5. A bunch of my friends are sill on the whole the-yolk-is-really-bad-for-you thing. I don't get it. Same with lots of other health trends. We've all been eating eggs since before we figured out how to turn iron into swords, I really don't think it's a problem.

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  6. Ha ha - did you know you lot (obviously I am speaking from my uptight, superior English point of view when I refer to you as 'you lot') spell tyre wrong??

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    1. That is because our TIREs have no COLOR and our bonnets are on our heads, but our elevators have plenty of lift.

      I owned a '58 MGA. Reading the owners manual it took me about 20 minutes to figure out what the heck was the "Bonnet."

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  7. oh, such a joy you two must be! :)

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  8. Mrs. C certainly calls you a jerk often. You also have some very fun conversations. Your breakfast sounded really good too.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  9. I had a hunch this conversation would end the way it did. And I don't think there are many of us who order rye toast. If only I could get pumpernickel.

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  10. LOL...and YES the drug companies do control everything ;0)

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  11. Your post reminded me of the plunging stocks on the drug Androgel for men. Boy am I glad my retirement wasn't depending on it!

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  12. Those pesky drug companies get into everything! You made me grin - thanks

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  13. I've been keeping score. You're still not winning.

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  14. I always eat oatmeal. Six days a week. I don't want to make the drug companies any richer.

    Except Sunday, I two two scrambled eggs. Whole eggs.

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  15. When my husband sorts through our daily egg harvest to set aside the ones he sells at work, he is careful to snag the over-sized eggs for himself. Double yolks.

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  16. These conversations between Mrs. Cranky and you are a never-ending source of amusement. Mind-blowing thought processes at work here! I have to say that I am surprised you are still able to share such stories with us, and that "no one" has chopped you up as you slept! :-))

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  17. yeah a lot of what we have been told is pure BS, like abstaining from salt to fix blood pressure. Then there's the whole lie about margarine vs butter.

    Oh, and breaking the code of those 'special' tire lugs is easy, you just need to know which part of the key to grind off ....

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  18. Well I don't know about the "conspiracy" but I agree with Mrs. C. that Big Pharmo is a big money making machine...

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