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Sunday, May 11, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 051114


STUPID HEADLINES 051114
It is time once again for
Ooh, that has got to smart
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.*

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.

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Young blood reverses aging in mice – Because the world needs more young mice. 

Unilever first quarter disappoints despite Hellmanns’ upward sales spike – Hellmanns always does well for Cinco de Mayo.

Woman lives in tiny 84-square-foot home – Well she does spend a lot of time in the 2800-square foot shed in the back yard.

Schumer calls on FDA to make sure 'scary' powdered alcohol never hits store shelves – The FDA approved the product and then claiming it was a mistake quickly withdrew approval.  After the fact, Chuckie Schumer made sure to call and confirm the withdrawal and managed to make it look like he saved the day.  Thank you Chuckie, way to go!  I think I’ll call the Supreme Court and make sure that slavery thing won’t be making a comeback.

Coke to drop flame retardant from drinks – First they drop cocaine and now flame retardant, can they really call it classic coke?

Japanese Scientists Create Meat From Poop – It is full of protein, has the perfect consistency, and it is completely safe.  The only drawback is it tastes like shit.

Artist who tied a rooster to his penis for a ‘performance’ by the Eiffel Tower is found guilty of sexual exhibitionism –That’s a COCK a-doodle-don’t!

Vatican presses forward with crackdown on US nuns' group over 'radical' positions – Journalism 101; never use radical positions, crackdown and nuns in the same headline!

Active older adults have healthiest hearts, study says – Experts are currently determining if older adults who don’t smoke or drink have healthier hearts than those who smoke two packs of cigarettes and get drunk off their ass every day.

Drunk Woman Busted For Loud Sex In Airplane Bathroom – Drunk...ok.  Sex…ok.  LOUD…Busted!

Students design a car that gets 2,824 mpg – Only if they find a really, really long hill.

Cannibal cop serving inmates behind bars – To whom is he serving them?

Michael Jordan: I was against all white people as a kid Michael Jordan vs. five white kids…sounds about even to me.

North Korea unleashes racist slurs against Obama – Likens our President to a monkey…have they even seen their fearless leader?

Mo, Larry, the cheese!

Editorial comment: Hey North Korea...Shut the fuck up!


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Last week’s fake headline was:

Texas farmer finds egg of whistler duck, long thought to be extinct – Now looking for whistler duck egg’s mother, a stern old bird in a black dress with a white hat.

There were lots of winners.  This fake was too easy, especially for followers of

TexWisGirl @ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/  who regularly post fun pictorials of her Texas Whistler Ducks.

TexWisGirl recused herself as did Hilary @ http://thesmittenimage.blogspot.com/  who is a TWG follower.  Check out Hilary, great photos and other good stuff; reward her honesty.

Now the disappointment.  Stephen @ http://thechubbychatterbox.blogspot.com/ is also a TWG follower and yet he failed to recuse himself, so even though he has educational art posts and wonderful stories, do not visit Stephen, he needs to be punished…nah go visit anyway you won’t be sorry.

Now for the winners:


Whistling ducks? You been watching Daffy Duck cartoons again? Umm....no

This week was so easy even Scott who was 0 for 73 got it right.


I too am going to have to go with the Texas farmer and the egg. Texans stop for nothing. Lead, follow or get out of the way.


oh, COME ON!!!



O.K. I'm going with the whistler duck egg, too. I don't think those birds are extinct.


Whistling ducks for me too it must drive people Quackers.


Gotta go with the whistler duck eggs. No idea why!


I'm going to exclude myself… though I don't think you were referring to me. I think I do know what headline and to whom it was aimed and I'll join her in her indignation. ;)


Visit all our winners (even Stephen)

And come back next week for more


STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!
* Thanks to Val @ http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/ for submitting a stupid headline, this kind of help is encouraged.


And Happy Mother’s day all you great moms!

13 comments:

  1. You mean my 0 for 73 record is shot? Pffft!....just like that, all because of some stupid duck larvae? Can I have a do-over?

    S

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    Replies
    1. low and slow, i'll send you a duck egg. :)

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  2. i'm gonna go for high-mileage today. :)

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  3. I'm going to have to go with the car mileage too. That's just over the top to me.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. Happy Mothers day to the misses. :)

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  4. Who the hell can tell? OK, I'll try, "Japanese Scientists Create Meat From Poop."

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  5. Okay, I think I spot your Unilever headline as an excuse for an always hilarious Hellmann's Cinco de Mayo joke (which recently toured Facebook as a Sinko de Mayo photo). If this is right, there is some seriously twisted stuff going on in the world (what a surprise).

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  6. I have no idea... sigh. Eenee meenee minee moe...cannibal cop.

    OK, going with that.

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  7. Unilever first quarter disappoints...

    It's the only one that doesn't sound offensive or ridiculous or too good to be true, so it must be fake.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Give me the "Meat From Poop." That's just SO wrong. I have even resigned myself to the feasibility of feces transplants. But this is too much.

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  9. I guess I should have recused myself on that last one. Live and learn. The Japanese are a very inventive people but getting meat from poop? I doubt it and will stick with sushi.

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  10. I was sure hoping that it was the meat from poop one, but I see I whiffed on this one. Now that is an appetite killer.

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  11. It's between poop and mileage LOL I am gonna go with poop it just don't smell right to me :-)

    Have a good week ahead :-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'll go with the meat from poop one too - not that I doubt they COULD do it but why WOULD you??

    ReplyDelete

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