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Sunday, April 27, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 042714


STUPID HEADLINES 042714

It is time once again for
Wait...WHAT!
Thanks again Squeak
 

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a Whoop-tee-do.

 

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Spain town with 'Kill Jews' in name mulls changeTown will vote on new name, “Massacre Muslims” or “Crucify Christians.”

Head injury during bar fight turns 'ordinary' guy into math whizOnly whiz I ever got from a bar was the need to whiz.

Strip Club Doubles As Church – Can I have an AMEN!

Best Credit Cards of 2014 - #1 has the name William Gates on the front.

Man Fakes Kidnapping But Mom Won't Pay $200 Ransom – Mom offered $500 to keep him.

Naps linked with higher risk of death – I quit smoking, I quit drinking, I am not giving up my naps!

Tennessee teen arrested with loaded gun stashed in her vagina She was charged “with gun possession and introducing contraband into a ‘penal facility.’” Is that what the kids are calling them now…‘Penal Facilities?’ Some stuff you can’t make up…thx Scott P.

Jeb Bush: ‘I’m thinking about running for president’ – Because out of 200 million people, we can only find a Clinton or a Bush to be qualified to run the country.  Damn, aren’t there any Kennedy’s around?

Obama: “Japanese robots a little scary!” – You just know he wanted to say “Arigato Mr. Roboto!”

Man sues doctors for mocking him while he was unconscious – If you can’t mock someone when he is unconscious, when can you mock him?

Massachusetts teacher who had chair thrown at her by student won't face punishment – Well then how is she ever going to learn her lesson.

California man finds his own message in bottle after 40 years – He found the bottle in his basement, message ordered two quarts of milk, a pound of butter and a dozen eggs.

Holder cancels graduation speech amid protests – Maybe we should just teach our higher education students to go “Na na na na nana…CAN’T HEAR YOU” instead of complaining about every non-plain vanilla commencement address speaker.

Kentucky Senate candidate scrutinized for cockfighting comments – The candidate responded to criticism, “Oh…Chickens!  Never mind.”

 

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Last week’s fake headline was:

Man trains his dog to use a toilet – Turns out it is really the Portland reservoir.

It was a tough week, only two winners:  

 


Well, there's a bunch of weirdness today. The gummy bear one had me laughing out loud. Okay your comments crack me up.

I'm going to guess training the dog to use the toilet. I've never known a dog that would go for that.
I must point out that if you've heard of it, it would not be worthy of a headline.  Once again women's strange logic reaches the correct answer. 

Check out Sandee @ http://comedyplus.blogspot.com/ today is her “Silly Sunday” Got a funny joke or story? Submit it to her Sunday blog hop!

 


Yeah, like Susie, I so wanted to just type the words "the dildo is fake - in more ways than one" but since she more or less did, I don't have to.

I'm thinking the toilet trained dog and the grumpy 70 year old men are just not headline worthy (as if gummy bear sex is.. but I've seen that story). So if I have to pick just one, I'll go with the potty pup.

Again! 

Hilary is on a hot streak, visit her @ http://thesmittenimage.blogspot.com/  Everyone else does.

Visit and congratulate our winners, and come back next week for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!

17 comments:

  1. "Strip Club Doubles As Church"

    So is that what guys tell their wives these days? "Yeah, sweetie, I cashed my paycheck, got a bunch of $1's, and donated them all to the Church of the Immaculate G-String."

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  2. I'll go with the man suing the doctor for making fun of him while he's unconscious.

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  3. i can only hope the tenn teen w/ tucked pistol is fake...

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  4. The strip club that doubles as a church is brilliant. They got caught, but still that's brilliant.

    I know that pistol story is true. Remember where I worked for for 25 years. I've watched doctors remove some very interesting things from that little hidey hole.

    Jeb...please don't run for president. Please.

    I'll go with the California man that finds his own note in the bottle. The odds are huge on that one.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. I always look forward to guessing what's false. :)

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  5. Kidnapping, mom won't pay to get him back...harsh!

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  6. I think the head injury = math whiz is the fake. If stuff like that could really happen, we'd have college students all over the world banging their heads against the walls during finals week.

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  7. P.S.
    Sandee is thinking out loud and giving the answers away. Just say'n ;)

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  8. I also think it's the "Strip Club Doubles As Church" mind you it probably turns out to be true as it sounds so unlikely LOL

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  9. Think I'm going to have to go with the head injury resulting in math whiz. If this is true, I'm half tempted to bang my own head against a wall to see what the result might be (other than a concussion). :D Thank you for the wonderful laughs!

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  10. Okay - the dude suing the doctor!

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  11. I like naps. A lot.

    I'm an optimistic person. A lot.

    I'm going to say the nap headline is fake.

    Please, God, let that one be the fake...

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  12. my vote is for the guy who found his own message in a bottle.

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  13. I have not looked at the comments so I may have already been proven wrong, but I say it was the message in a bottle guy. Thanks to you I will have Styx tunes running through my head tonight though.

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  14. I'm going with the 40-year-old Message in a Bottle as fake. That's a piece of cake. Like a man could ever find anything...

    I WISH it was the doctor mocking an unconscious patient. But having awakened during surgery and heard the doctor mocking me, I fear that it is not.

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  15. I am going with "Naps linked with higher risk of death" this week. It maybe be a real headline the way they says everything will kill you now days. At least for now naps save my life.

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  16. Nope. The Kennedys keep dying.

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  17. The unconscious mockery for me. Although it wouldn't be the most ridiculous thing someone had sued someone else for. Thanks as ever for the giggles.

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