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Tuesday, March 11, 2014

WORDS TO THE WISE THAT F’D UP MY LIFE


WORDS TO THE WISE THAT F’D UP MY LIFE
Said just before he left for the theater
There are some old sayings that everyone just assumes are correct and need to be followed.  I disagree.  Many of these sage old adages have ruined my life.

A penny saved is a penny earned I saved thousands of pennies @1% interest instead of investing in Apple. Thanks old wise adage.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. – I had this idea for a phone that could take pictures and also connect to the internet, but my old black rotary worked just fine.

A stitch in time saves nine – I've wasted several years of my life trying to figure out what this meant.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again – Tell it to my Rubik’s cube.

A watched pot never boils – They never mentioned that an unwatched pot will evaporate the water, melt the pot, start a fire and burn your house down.

Early to bed, early to rise…- Fuck you, who can do that?

Don’t put the cart in front of the horse – Rear-wheel drive…another of my good ideas down the drain.

Don’t crap where you work – Whoever came up with this one never pulled an all-nighter at work.

Only you can prevent forest fires – Now every time I hear of a forest fire I feel guilty.

Don’t marry that woman! – OK, that one I should have listened to…twice.

19 comments:

  1. Ha ha Joe - I suspect that had some one said the last to me before I got married (substituting man for woman) that I might just have listened.

    I also don't agree with 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' - in my opinion it just doesn't kill you!

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  2. The one I don't get is when people say something is like comparing apples and oranges. It seems to me that apples and oranges are extremely comparable.

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  3. CC makes a good point. From now on I decree the phrase to be, "Your comparing apples to shark's teeth!"

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  4. Yes, all true! Sometimes it takes more than a word, even to the wise to get a point across. And everything doesn't happen for a reason. Sometimes stuff just falls out of the sky and nails you.

    I especially liked your comment about "Don't crap where you work."

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  5. Well I've wondered about some of these too. Knowing you as little as I do, I'm guessing you don't take much heed in these words to the wise. Just an observation.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

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  6. I'm an early to bed early to rise person. I'm also really boring.

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  7. My husband (when I was married) said one should always crap on company time. No wonder he kept losing jobs.

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  8. How about the "pot calling the kettle black"? Screw the kettle. If I've got a talking pot I'm taking it on the road with a freak show. Cha Ching!

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  9. Oh, Joe.......you have outdone yourself.....again. Brilliant! Saved my day and maybe my life.

    I understand the "stitch in time" one having often had to pin my hem up with safety pins or scotch tape. The one that confounds me is
    "A word to the wise is sufficient".......claptrap if I've ever heard any.

    Love, Lo

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  10. Thanks for sharing these idioms and how they can prove to be not so true in most case. LOL

    The one I do not agree with is "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

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  11. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again, really should say If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you!

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  12. One time I gave my class a page of these sayings on the next-to-last day of school. They had to fill in the end. Here's a sampling:

    Don't throw the baby...down, it'll get hurt.
    Don't throw the baby...ever.
    Don't throw the baby...at the wall.
    Don't throw the baby...out with the trash.

    And my favorite:
    Don't throw the baby...a knife.

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  13. If at first you don't succeed....you know how to apportion blame, right?

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  14. Very funny Cranky. Lots of chuckles here. That "makes you stronger" one always made me feel the person saying it was just thrilled it wasn't them and they were letting you know they had no intention of helping out:)).

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  15. Sometimes these type of sayings annoy me. always.

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  16. My favorite: Hindsight is a real pain in the neck.

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  17. All very funny! I think the one about the stitch in time got me the most, because I have no idea what that means either.

    The early to bed early to rise... your response - simply and accurately stated.

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  18. Excellent! I love your response to Early to bed early to rise too!

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