WORDS TO THE WISE THAT F’D UP MY LIFE
|Said just before he left for the theater|
There are some old sayings that everyone just assumes are correct and need to be followed. I disagree. Many of these sage old adages have ruined my life.
A penny saved is a penny earned – I saved thousands of pennies @1% interest instead of investing in Apple. Thanks old wise adage.
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. – I had this idea for a phone that could take pictures and also connect to the internet, but my old black rotary worked just fine.
A stitch in time saves nine – I've wasted several years of my life trying to figure out what this meant.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again – Tell it to my Rubik’s cube.
A watched pot never boils – They never mentioned that an unwatched pot will evaporate the water, melt the pot, start a fire and burn your house down.
Early to bed, early to rise…- Fuck you, who can do that?
Don’t put the cart in front of the horse – Rear-wheel drive…another of my good ideas down the drain.
Don’t crap where you work – Whoever came up with this one never pulled an all-nighter at work.
Only you can prevent forest fires – Now every time I hear of a forest fire I feel guilty.
Don’t marry that woman! – OK, that one I should have listened to…twice.