Thursday, February 27, 2014
NO, YOU PULL AROUND ME!
NO, YOU PULL AROUND ME!
It has been awhile, time for a rant.
Do you ever get pissed off at the old dude in the middle lane going the exact speed limit? Why won’t he move to the right? Why do I have to move over to pass him? There is no one ahead of him. Move over ass hole!!
Well I am the old dude. I am the old dude doing the speed limit in the middle lane. I like the middle lane. I don’t have to pull out to pass the really slow drivers on the right. I don’t like the left lane, because they all speed too much. So when you pull up to my back fender and flash your lights and honk your horn and wave your arms, I will not pull over, I will not speed up, I will slow down just a bit. I don’t want to move over, I like the middle lane. Here is an idea…YOU PULL THE FRIG AROUND ME!!
I know I piss people off. People that assume if the speed limit is 60 everyone should be going at least 70. When I do kick it up to 70 there is always some asshole with a little pecker that has to weave in and out in his BMW (yes it is ALWAYS a BMW…EVERYTIME) and still gets whizzed off at my speed, so yes, you STFU and PULL THE FRIG AROUND ME.
I drive the speed limit. Drive too slow and you are a danger to others. Drive too fast and you are not able to stop or pull around an unexpected impediment. There is a reason for a speed limit. Some expert has determined that there is a given speed that it is the safest for cars to maintain. As much as I think experts are full of crap most of the time, it makes sense to me to have a speed which everyone should strive to maintain in order to have some order on the highways.
I may piss you off, but in 50 years I have only been involved in two accidents. In one, some jerk pulled to the right to change lanes at about five miles an hour and did not bother to look first. I was on his right, waiting for the traffic in front of me to move. It happened years ago. I don’t remember for sure, but I assume he was driving a BMW.
The second accident was on the turnpike. A torrential thunderstorm struck and foolish me, I slowed down to about 40. I slowed down because I could not see at 60 miles per hour, and the rain was so heavy I was afraid if I had to stop or slow down I would hydroplane and not be able to control my car. The guy behind me did not believe in slowing down. He did not see me as he approached at 60 MPH. When he did, he slammed on the brakes and guess what? The idiot in the BMfrigginW hydroplaned and slammed into my rear!
I have had two speeding tickets in my life, both were speed traps. The first was two weeks after I got my license. A cop waited at the bottom of a hill where the limit changed from 35 to 25 and he stopped every car that passed his way…including me. The second was on a 15 mile stretch of the Rhode Island Turnpike where “roadwork” (there was none at the time) forced the 65MPH limit down to 35MPH. Four cops pulled cars over eight at time, as fast as they could and handed out tickets. When I left with my ticket in hand I tried to drive at the required 35 MPH until I was almost rear-ended three times.
So yes, I am the old dude that is pissing you off. I don’t drive slowly, I drive the legal limit. My driving has served me well for 60 years. I don’t intend to change. So instead of tailgating, honking or flashing your lights, here is an idea…YOU PULL AROUND AND PASS! And as you flip me the bird and call me an asshole, know that I am responding right back,
“Fuck you, you little shit; you and your needle dick and your BMfrigginW!”
Ah, that feels better.