NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

STUPID HEADLINES 011214


STUPID HEADLINES 011214

It is time once again for:
I knew this would happen with Obamacare!
 
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
 

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

 
___________________________
Man 'unaware' of nail lodged in skull after home improvement accident – Dude…you hit the nail ON the head, not IN the head!

California students sue state over ineffective teachers – I had shoulda sood my techers asswell, I harldly were tauted anything very good.

EPA proposes restrictions for new wood stoves – I would propose eliminating them altogether.  Those wooden stoves tend to catch fire.

Robin Thicke throws fit over size of hotel room, report says – Apparently his head would not fit through the doorway.

Possible Velveeta shortage looms – No cheese-like product? Cancel the Super Bowl…OH THE HUMANITY!!

San Francisco environmentalist group wants global warming warning on gas pumps – Problem solved!

12 year old weight lifter tests positive for human growth hormone – Well yeah, he’s 12!

Scientists discover dogs' preferred bathroom position – Apparently it is either over my lawn or next to a fire hydrant.

Missouri woman hit with misdemeanor charge after rescuing stray dog from freezing cold – Clearly this is not the fake, I couldn’t make up anything this ridiculous!

Los Angeles woman sues McDonald’s over hot coffee – I smell another McLawsuit McRipoff McBullshit McScam.

Canadian woman develops Scottish accent after concussion - Hoot mon, thots Terrrrrrrrrible!

Dallas group set to auction permit to hunt rhino – If I was a hunter I would not pay very much for a Rhino permit in Dallas!  When ‘s the last time you’ve seen one Scott?
 
             Come back next week for more           
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

15 comments:

  1. i only know of one or two that are 'real' this week - obviously i've been out of the news loop, lately.

    i'm gonna pick thicke just because i really don't 'get' him. yuck! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bwahahaahahahahahaa. Wait, why am I laughing at this stupidity. Well, because people are stupid and you just can't fix that.

    Way funny so I linked it to my Silly Sunday meme. Have a fabulous day. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Hospitals Resort to Hiring Doctors"

    Because he Unions have made hiring Plumbers to expensive.

    ReplyDelete
  4. the Canadian one might be fake really just a guess have a good week

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ummmm - I'll go with Velveeta. I totally believe Robin Thicke would complain, and I read the the one about the preferred dog potty positions. :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Actually, Joe, I saw one just last week at Outdoor World. But as it was standing VERY still, I suspect it had already been hunted. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The twelve year old weight lifter doesn't sound real to me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am going with the California students sue state over ineffective teachers. Many people are just moving out of California.

    ReplyDelete
  9. My guess is on Robin Thicke this time. I have no idea who he is or what he does, but that's my guess and I'm sticking to it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm picking the copycat McDonald's hot coffee claimer. Been done. Maybe she'll hire "Jackie Chiles" to represent her, and use the balm right before her hearing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sadly all of these sound entirely plausible to me. A couple I know are real. I'll guess the Velveeta shortage one.

    ReplyDelete
  12. sue over hot coffee?? hahaha!! I want to know if she won the case :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. i'm guessing the california students. if the teacher was ineffective the students wouldn't have been well-informed enough to know how to sue.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I was going to pick the students suing anyway but really like lime's reasoning.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is a hard one. I swear I've heard them all this week on the local news channel. They've been talking about the Liquid Gold aka Velveeta shortage all weekend.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!